Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The Magic Purple Apron

The mornings around here have been pretty spectacular.  Or at least they were until yesterday, when we were socked in with fog.  I guess that's something like pulling a sock over your head so you can't see.  Travel on those mornings is pretty iffy with crazy drivers trying to prove the fog doesn't bother them at all.  It's also been downright COLD!!  Every morning has been in the 30's ... brrrrrrrrrrr.
As much as I wanted to, I never got in that nap yesterday.  Gearing up for the night of adventure at the Magic Kingdom of Bingo takes all day.  There's laundry to do, puppy pressure to play the ball game and house cleaning to get done, not to mention trying to salvage those leftover ribs.

I put them in the oven at 325 for an hour, which resulted in warm ribs.  Still tough as leather.  What have I got to lose .. I left them in for ANOTHER hour before finally having lunch.  Still not done enough, but better.  Good grief ... I think those came off an old mastodon or maybe a T-Rex!!

In no time, the appointed hour arrived and I headed off to town with a handful of aspirin.  I yawned all the way, so upon arrival, I ordered a large coke.  I need all the caffein I can get!!  
The King's Men have taken to meeting up in the Sky Lounge pre-Bingo to gather enough strength to handle the peasants.  All this time I thought they had a drink of the mead variety, but come to find out, it's all been non-alcoholic beer.  Plied with bowls of peanuts, pretzels and popcorn, we all went downstairs, mumbling and grumbling, ready to meet the crowd.

My only mission for the night was to get a Magic Purple Apron from the Chief of the Storage Room.  Every time I help out at a dinner function, and there are MANY times, I'm given a filthy dirty apron from the "wash" bin.  Seems the Castle Chef hides the aforementioned magic pieces of material for his own pleasure.  All of the Mucky Mucks have their own, which I covet, so it's my duty to abscond with the first one I find.

It was a rather easy night, since most of the peasants are broke buying Christmas gifts.  That's a good thing ... at least their money is going for a good cause.  That's when I discovered our doors were missing.  Someone removed our last bastion of safety from the peasants, who now flood our area before we are set up.  

Come to find out, the Grand Marshal couldn't find doors to fit his chambers upstairs, so he stole ours.  Seriously??  I'm coming down in the middle of the night and putting them back!!  After much discussion, we all decided that wasn't going to happen, so we had a stomach churning hotdog instead.  

That's when I hit up the Chief of the Storage Room for a magic apron.  Of course once the part time help heard "I" was getting one, everyone ELSE wanted one too.  You know how that goes!!  Alas, there was only one in the Castle and it was awarded to me!!  YAY!!  I'm now one of the prestigious kitchen slaves!!  

I didn't tell anyone, but I'm going to wear it at home too.  I know it holds magical powers that will make my ribs cook faster, my chocolate not seize up and my gravy not lumpy.  I'm still playing Russian Roulette with the chocolate mousse dessert since I haven't found the missing tip of the spatula.  I have three more to go!!
As luck would have it, I wouldn't have ANY unless it was bad.  I lost my phone in the Sky Lounge ... it came out of my back pocket, but was luckily found by Prince Charming.  When I got home however, it promptly fell in the toilet.  I guess I do have SOME luck, because it happened BEFORE I sat down.  Note to self ... never put your phone in the back pocket of those pants again!!  It survived, thank goodness, both the dunking, the washing and the hair dryer, with no ill affects.  

Really, I think I should have that nap now!!


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  2. Let me see if I get this right ;
    magical purple apron,? Check
    faster ribs, check!
    perfect chocolate moose. Check!
    lack of lumps in ones gravy. check!
    lose phone Check
    dump phone in toilet ! Yuck well ok check
    Phone still works ,,,,????,,,,,, Cool !
    Solution to all checked problems
    Return magical purple apron ,,,,ASAP,,,,
    Spray phone with Lysol,,,,
    Dig ANOTHER hole in the backyard,,,,
    The magical pillow fairy,s calling,,,,,,,Zzzzzzzzz. ,,,take a nap,,,,
    Remind oneself to cancel yesterday

  3. If your phone hits the water of any kind again, put it in rice.

    1. Thank you for reminding me Betty. I've heard of that before, just didn't think to do it. Weirdly enough, it didn't get very wet at all.