Trying to Catch Up

Once again, thank you everyone for the kind posts.  This is so hard to go through.  I just miss him so very much I can't even put it in words.  I'm trying to keep busy, but the constant thought of him still brings tears.

I'll try to catch up a bit ... as Kitters keeps watch.  She's mean as nails if she doesn't get her way.  I quit petting her and she nailed me with her NAIL, deep into my finger.  I couldn't get it out!  Lots of alcohol didn't ease the pain one little bit.  This after she brought in another big moth that is now somewhere in a pile of fake flowers atop my armoir.

This is Big Vics Barbecue in Turlock California from Father's Day.  I'm still eating on the first container of pulled pork.  I discovered the salad had dill in it and I'm not a fan.  Not to be wasteful, I'm choking it down.

There I was, enjoying my first cup of fake coffee when I heard Kitters rummaging around.  That is a BAD sound to be hearing.  Sure enough, on top of my window table I found her chasing the lizard that belongs to that tail I found on the bathroom floor.  Poor thing ... I think he's been in the house for three days.  He now lives under the bushes out front.  Is that number 8 or 9?  I'm changing her name to DAMN CAT!!  I mean it's good to be a hunter, but this is ridiculous!!

My sweet boy of course.  It's no easier than it was a week ago.

But I went to Bingo anyway.  There is a guy who thinks he knows how to set everything up.  When he found out I was coming at 2:00 to do just that, he started coming at 1:30 and messing up everything, mostly because he has no idea how to do it. 

I came at 1:00 one day, now he shows up at 12:30.  Since my "Bingo" want-to is waning, I let them figure it out and re-set everything when THEY get there at 4:00.  We start at 4:15.  

That's when a member brought me a note written by a crazy lady.  No kidding, we had a hard time deciphering what she said, other than don't you EVER interfere with my family ... bye bye.  No one has any idea what that is about, but she sure made the other player mad when she put it on her table.   That got her husband in trouble BIG time.  Her husband is the one I spoke of above.

From there, the slings and arrows were aimed at the only caller of the night.  The bad news was he had never called the late games, and didn't really know how to get through the computer to do so.  Games were delayed by newbies who called Bingo when they didn't have it and called Bingo while the one ball was still in the monitor.  The peasants were up in arms all night long.  Flaming torches lit up the entire building.  I'm surprised the fire department didn't arrive to put out the flames.  

Lucky for me, I balanced and escaped out the back door before the last four games.  Sleep was elusive as I just have a hard time keeping my eyes dry.

I did notice a slight problem with the lawn yesterday morning.  You would think this would be a big red flag for the gardener.  Apparently he didn't notice.  I left him three big holes and two sprinklers to replace the one that didn't work at all and a broken one.  

This one just needed to be dug out from under three inches of dirt.  No wonder I kept setting the sprinklers to run longer with no results.  He spent two hours fixing them.  One problem down, only six to go.

And so here's my baby boy once again.  I hope you don't get tired of seeing his pictures.  They make me cry, but I can't help it.  He was my one and only for 17 years.  I can't even express how much I miss him.

I mean really, he stuck with me his entire life, unlike the last guy who took me on one date, whereupon the next day I discovered he had a girlfriend of several years.  Or the guy I dated for 6 years before that who dumped me and ran off with a girl he met at my church, or maybe the one before that, that I married after 5 years who ran off with the love of his life he met on the internet only 10 months after we got married.  Oh yeah, I can pick them, yes?  But my Cooper boy ... he stuck with me through thick and thin for his entire life.  

There's more catching up to do on the quilt machine, but I'll wait til tomorrow.  There's really nothing going on today ... no meetings, no accounting and no place to go, though I will try to get in a trip to Walmart for some new kitchen rugs.  How exciting can it get?????

It's A Pass Today

Thank you everyone so much for your kind words.   It means a lot to me.  I just can't seem to get it together this morning, so I'm passing on the blog.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Here's my two kids that I miss so very much.

NO WORDS, ONLY TEARS

 

You Paid How Much??

 Hard to believe this is the same little guy I fell so in love with, along wth Miss Jessie just after I got her.  Jessie was 5 years old when she was taken from her family and hauled to California for a new home.  I did not plan on keeping her ... just until they found someone to adopt her, which never happened.  She and I didn't get along for a while because Jack Russells are one person dogs.  She didn't get along with dogs either, and didn't care for Cooper who only wanted to play with her.  Both of them traveled the U.S. with me for the rest of their lives.

Getting along without them is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  I'm trying to keep busy, but Sundays have always been and still are, the worst.  I went for a run first thing when it was still cool outside.  Another 2.25 miles is in the books.  

Once back, I fixed a bacon and tomatoe omelette for breakfast.  It was okay, but not sharing it made me wish I ate something else.

With Kitters just waiting for pets and rubs, rolling all over the dirty concrete, I laid out in the sun for about 30 minutes.  Even at 8:00 in the morning, the sun was just too hot to bear.

She rolls and rolls, probably hoping someone would get up and scratch her ears.

I found a great TV show about all the stuff we did as kids that could kill us.  Things like the lead used in making the garden hoses we drank out of, or the melt-the-metal toy maker that reached 600 degrees and finally got removed from the market due to badly burned hands.  

To pass the time even faster, I finally made that brownie recipe.  I think it would be better in an 8 x 8 pan, but this one worked okay.  Yes, they were delicious ... soft and chewy just like I like them.  

While on my phone devouring THREE of them, I found a highly recommended Barbecue Place that had smoked brisket.  That's a rarity around here, but it came RV-rig recommended.  Maybe I'll go get some.  This usually results in me getting three blocks away and returning to the house.

On this day though, I ran out with torn jeans, an ugly tee shirt, NO MAKEUP, (my friends know that has never happened in my life), with NO hairspray, or even a quick comb.  I drove 25 miles down the freeway to find this very long line.  I thought it couldn't be THAT bad, until I realized there are 15 people INSIDE the door waiting to be served.

The service could not be slower.  When I finally got inside, there was one guy cutting the brisket and three people getting the sides together.  You could order a plate, meat by the pound, or a huge dinner for five in the biggest aluminum foil pan they make.  

I got one pound of brisket, one pound of pulled pork, a large Mac n cheese and two small potato salads.  It's enough to feed me for a week.  I don't know how they make their Mac n cheese, but it was one of the best I've eaten.  The brisket was perfect, but I paid for a lot of fat.  The pulled pork was delicious!!!  The potato salad is made with dill pickles ... not my favorite, but it was okay.

I put four containers of meat in the freezer, along with most of the Mac.  This will last me a week at least ... which it SHOULD considering it cost me $80.00.  I know ... crazy ... but it was a good distraction for most of the afternoon.

For the rest of the day, I worked on the binding of one quilt.  I needed to hand sew this one.  Luckily Kitters slept on the coffee table the entire time and stayed out of my hair.

I trimmed two more and will finish up that binding to have five completed.  Two more sit on my desk to be quilted after I call my Tucson guy today.

I'm not sure it helps to keep looking at pictures of Cooper, but this one did make me smile.  He's on the bed of the Class A looking into the closet mirror.  Turn up the volume.  He had never seen himself in a mirror before and wants to know WHO that dog is!!  He was just the best pup ever!!

Happy Fathers Day

 HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the dads out there.  This is my dad at Cow Camp many MANY moons ago, so now you know why I am the way I am.  I was born and raised on a cattle ranch, sometimes a difficult life, but a good one to grow up in.

Another sunny day has passed and things aren't much better.  Absolutely everything reminds me of Cooper.  I can't seem to get my head together, as evidenced by opening the back door at 4:02 am and having the alarm go off.  I feel like someone turned my brain off.

Kitters tries to help all day long by checking on me constantly.  It's probably more for all the petting she's been getting.

I was ready to hit the road earlier than normal, only because I wanted to recreate the delicious brownies I had at the RV Park a couple weeks ago.  I thought the cocoa powder with a "best by" date of April 2020 was probably not going to provide the results I was looking for.  I was also looking for some of those mini versions of toothpaste for the rig.  The smaller the better when it comes to bathroom stuff.

Since I've used up all the Kleenex in the house, I hit up Dollar Tree to see what I could find.  There's nothing like standing in the middle of the aisle trying to figure out if these four boxes are cheaper per kleenex than the other brand.  Especially since Dollar Tree has become FIVE Dollar Tree.

One aisle over, I got moved out of the way twice, trying to figure out the same for the toilet paper.  That's what happens when you are such a conservative accountant and your brain is in slow motion.

I also picked up two little packets of kitty treats for $5.00.  I just KNEW Kitters would enjoy them.  I was WRONG!  I broke them into little pieces and placed them on the counter where she was already parked.  She smelled them ... and so did I because I think they were tuna.  Did she eat it with gusto?  Nope ... not even one teeny tiny piece went into her mouth.  She refused even the hand fed ones.  So much for that $5.00.

I really didn't want to try quilting, but I had to try something to keep from blubbering all day.  I measured to be sure the backing was on the machine correctly.  It quilted the first row, but it does not sound nor work like it used to.  

Then it started making noises I KNEW were bad.  They changed the programming so it goes slow and fast instead of just a steady stitch.  That makes the bobbin rattle and sound like it's going to break.  The tension is completely off, but I had no luck adjusting it ..... and then THIS happened.  It was wadding up the bottom thread, while looking just fine on top.

Another look produced a big sigh.  They just don't seem to be able to make it work correctly.  I grabbed my seam ripper and one by one, took out an entire row of stitches.  I'm guessing maybe 2,000?  It was a lesson in frustration.  I adjusted the tension again and went little by little.  Halfway through I paused the machine, and when it started back up, it skipped an inch of stitches.  Big sigh ..... about ten more inches of stitches had to be taken out.

There was one slight distraction when I heard the slapping of paws on the wall.  Oh that's not good ... not good at all.  As I looked around the corner, the lizard went running into the bathroom.  Luckily they stop motionless, thinking they can't be seen, so I could grab him.  Another one out the front door to the lawn.

By now I'm down to the bottom of the quilt when I realize ...... da da daaaaaaaaa ..... I'm short six inches of backing.  In spite of measuring the quilt AND the backing, I got it on the machine wrong.  That's what I mean about not being able to think about anything but Cooper.  I just can't seem to get it together.

I took it off the longarm, cut another piece of fabric to sew on the bottom, put it BACK on the longarm and was finally able to get the last row finished.  What a frustrating way to spend the day.

And it didn't get better.  Cyndae called me with a computer problem.  She got a new MacBook Pro and could not get her printer to work.  She called HP, only to somehow get a scammer who told her she had to BUY the drivers for the printer to work.  I'm glad she called, because that's not true.  HP offers all those drivers for FREE.  

We worked on it for over an hour, but it's hard to do that when I can't see the screen and tell her what to click.  She finally decided it was easier to buy a new $115.00 printer, since hers is over 5 years old.  It was a lesson in frustration for sure.

The rest of the night was spent doing this.  Kitters will sit there all day long if you just brush her, which is what I do, but now she looks pretty scraggly since all her winter coat is gone.

Not the best of days for sure.  I'm having to force myself to do things and making mistakes all along the way.  Of course Sundays are the worst.  I usually have a long list of stuff to do, but my list is empty and the depression is the worst.  Maybe making those brownies will help.

It Was A GREAT Day

 It was 56 degrees when I woke up at 4 am.  That's pretty chilly when you have all the windows and vents open.  My sleeping bag is not really made for cold weather.  

The batteries were at 97% when I went to bed, 96 upon waking up.  I haven't dry camped in this thing at all, so it's going to be interesting to see how long I can survive.  I forgot and left the Starlink plugged in.  Coffee was made by boiling water on the induction top in less than one minute.  Between lights, the water pump and the Spyder iPad control, I was down to 88% in no time.  If dry camping for more than a day, I will have to pay more attention.  It took about four hours for the solar panels to bring it back up, probably due to the shady parking spot.

Once again, the routine was completely off, so I went inside to have coffee with Cyndae.  No one was up of course, so I headed out on the patio.  I think it was 8:00 when I was joined by the girls.  That's when Cyndae brought up the idea of moving all of the stuff in her garage to the other side so she could fit a car in the single-car side.  I said let's do it!  

This is the before.  I forgot to take the after picture, which you would not believe.  That big bureau was moved after emptying it, along with two big shelves completely full to the ceiling with heavy boxes.  I think the five foot tall Craftsman to-die-for tool box on rollers was the easiest to move.  She was thrilled to get stuff out of the way and the car actually INSIDE, but just by inches.  The remaining mess will take WEEKS to sort through.  I don't mind the big move, I just can't imagine the sorting part.

Once done, we locked up the garage and went to U.C. Davis to the garden.  Wow ... that place is HUGE with buildings everywhere, surrounded by trees, with nothing being kept up or pruned.  Apparently they "rent" garden plots by the year to anyone who wants to grow their own.  They even supply the water.  This is one of the paths to the back.  

Plots are fenced off with whatever they happen to have handy, and weed growth is epic.  You can barely tell what the plants are for the weed coverage.  They also have rats, mice and squirrels that eat up everything, so netting is necessary.

This is Becca's garden plot, with tomatoes, three kinds of squash, grapes, pomegranates ... and dozens of things I could not identify.  Becca had a 5 gallon bucket full in less than five minutes.

The tomato vines are covered with fruit that will ripen soon.  The problem is finding enough time to pull the weeds and gather the produce.

The grapes surrounding the plot are coming along nicely.  I'm sure when they are ripe, anyone walking by will snag one or two.

From there we headed off to the Clay Oven for lunch.  All that garage work had me starving.  Chicken tikka masala was my choice, with garlic naan bread.  I haven't had this in ages, and it was SO good!

I considered staying another night, but sadness took hold, so I headed out south on a back road to miss the parking-lot freeway.  It wasn't too bad until I got to Rio Vista.  There are four stop lights from one side to the other, that made for a very long wait.  Apparently EVERYONE did not get a holiday day.

Having to cross the bridge over the Delta didn't help.

I've ridden this highway on bikes MANY times, and never EVER was the traffic this bad.  

My 2 hour return trip turned into a 3 hour marathon of driving.  Lucky for me, the van did its job perfectly, only now there's a message that says SCHEDULE "A" MAINTENANCE.  What the heck is that?  I think it's an oil change, but it's not due for 20,000 miles, and I doubt I even have 10,000.  These Mercedes dealers, they sure like to squeeze you for the bucks.

BIG surprise ... when I walked in the house, there was Kitters, a little leery at first, but happy to take her place on the armrest.  

I didn't find any other critters roaming the house, so hopefully she left them outside.  

It was nice to get away and be distracted, but alas, you always have to go back home and the sadness returns.  

I'm Sure They Heard Me Yelling!!

Not having packed to go anywhere in ages, not to mention not becoming familiar with the van again after all this time, made for an interesting trip.

First off, I said goodbye to Kitters and asked her PLEASE do not bring any critters inside the house while I'm gone.  I think it fell on deaf ears.

As I walked out the door, what should I see but another problem.  Seems the light fixture the PAID FOR electrician installed, fell from the ceiling.  I guess I'll call on that upon my return.

In no time, I was heading out.  First off, these darn rigs try to drive FOR you, instead of letting YOU take the wheel.  Even though I turned off all the WARNING settings, like vibrating crazily when you get too close to the white line, or what USED to be a white line ... and the worst one ... slowing down just as you pull up being a vehicle to pass it.  THAT is the worst.  

Traffic was awful.  Little did I know, Juneteenth (whatever the heck that is) has become a Federal holiday.  I went 35 mph for close to 30 miles.  Add to that all the foreign truckers who do not know the laws, who travel at 55 mph in the fast lane and NEVER move over.  I'm sure they heard me yelling at them. 

I made it in about 2.5 hours and "camped" out front of Cyndae's house.  We spent most of the morning sitting right here having coffee. 

Suddenly she said .... let's go swimming!  But first, we wandered off not far away to something like 300 houses for sale, built for seniors 50 and over.  $500,000 will get you 1600 sq feet of house, plus the biggest pool I've ever seen, a big conference building and a gym, along with pickle ball and bocci ball courts for an addition $200+ a month.  Not bad ... but they are almost completely sold out.  However ... just imagine .... no screaming loud music or 3 am parties!!

It would be a great place to live, but not today.  Instead, we went over to her daughter's house for a swim.  The pool is heated by solar and was perfect!  The good news is it kept me distracted.

We were joined for dinner by her daughter who is a pilot for Southwest Airlines.   That girl is amazing!!  The food was zoomed up chicken and pasta, a huge salad and ice cream.  It was delicious and more than I could eat.  After a bit of television, I headed out to the van.  

Little did I know what awaited me.  I thought I would turn the TV on for just a bit before crashing.  BIG mistake.  It's crazy there are no directions for the SMART TV, and the Dish Network box is dumb as dirt.  No kidding ... nothing I could do would get it to turn to Dish instead of twelve other things to click on.  

Of course I forgot my password book, so I had to call.  Everything he had me do was completely opposite of what you would THINK to do.  It locked up half way and we started completely over.  Finally he said it would finish up ... goodbye.  What it ACTUALLY did was completely reprogram the dish box, which took over an hour.  So much for a good nights sleep.  I'm sure the neighbors heard me yelling!!

I finally turned it off two hours after my bed time.  I suppose I now have to go turn the TV on at least once a week to keep it updated.  Same goes for the Starlink by the way.  It took 30 minutes for IT to update its little brain so my internet would work.  

That's when the van said HOLD MY BEER!!  I'm usually plugged in and everything works fine.  NOT being plugged in means NOTHING works, even when you tell it to.  I tried everything to turn off the noisy CHARGER, but it refused to go to sleep.  I finally took a BIG sleeping pill and dozed off an hour later.  

This morning came WAY too early, but here I am, not having any idea how long I can go with my batteries, or just what I can turn on without killing them.  I know, I need to use it more.  Everything is just so much different than when you are plugged in.

I've no idea how long I will stay ... maybe one more day.  I'll make that decision later.

Thank you everyone for hanging in with me and my sweet boy Coop.  I miss him so much!

Nothing Is The Same

As expected, nothing is the same around this house.  There's no routine any more because it was all centered around my kid.  I'm wandering around aimlessly, not the least bit interested in anything.  If there was a human around, it might be easier, but as I said, Cooper stuck with me longer than the husband. 

Kitters tries to help I suppose, but the cat hair is epic.  This is one brushing worth and she gets brushed several times a day.  What's up with that?  Chef Patty used to tell me about the cat hair from their two, but I never noticed.  THIS is just ridiculous!!

So now you will be inundated with CAT pictures.  The coffee table is apparently not comfortable enough.  If there is something on the table, she's lying on it.

I now have to put Cooper's blankets on everything to keep cat hair off the quilts and the chairs.  

This is the morning gopher hunt.  Lizards come later when they sit out in the sun to warm up.  By the way, I found a lizard tail in the spare bathroom yesterday, so be careful where you step.  No telling where the rest of him is.

I've really not been eating much.  There's no one to share little pieces of chicken with while I eat BLT tacos.

The solar cleaning guy showed up just before I left for accounting work.  Luckily he can reach them from the ground with his automatic scrubbing machine.  I have to admit, these panels have saved me a lot of money!!  At this point it is about $15,000 in three years.  Not bad!!

All clean and shiny!  There's another set of panels on the side of the garage.  

Accounting was the usual nightmare.  I keep telling my replacement to double check the account number every time.  She did not, and kept putting expenses in the wrong account, so when we went to reconcile against the bank statement, nothing was there.  That wasted quite of bit of time searching for what we knew she had added.  Putting in the wrong date didn't help either.  It was a long four hours before I got home.  

I would have given anything to see this face when I got here, but it was not to be.  

I'm taking off in the van this morning, heading North for just one night.  It will give me at least two more starts on the dumb thing while I visit with Cyndae.  I'm not sure this is going to help since I'm not really in the mood to do anything, but I guess it's worth a shot.  

I'll let you know how it goes ......................

Thank you everyone for hanging in there with me.  I appreciate it so very much!