Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Magic Kingdom Surprises!!

Did you ever notice how hard it is to remember what you did yesterday, not to mention what you ate?  Especially if it wasn't all that exciting in the first place?  Mostly I answered phone calls from telemarketers.  Solar sales seem to be the flavor of the day.  

I saw a cute answer for them on the internet, and I have to say it's working well.  Any time my phone says the call is from out of state, I now answer with ..... "HELLO!!  This is KBNX .... You're ON THE AIR!!  What's your SEX problem today??"  So far I'm batting 1,000 with six hang-ups and six belly laughs from me!!  This is going to be FUN!!!

Around noon my friend showed up, returning my quilt from the Dixon May Fair.  It seems there are many more categories, with everyone entering at least TWO, so she wants more for next year.  That's funny .... I thought the reason I was entering at all was because no one else was!!  

The rest of the afternoon was spent getting ready for the MAGIC KINGDOM of Elks Bingo night.  I discovered if you arrive 20 minutes early, you can saunter upstairs to the Sky Lounge for a drink, keeping the bogeymen away for the balance of the night.  SKY LOUNGE?  In MERCED?  It's an interesting name for a room that just happens to be on the second floor of our 100 year old building.   I think it would be much more appropriate if you could at least see outside, which you can't because there aren't any windows!!

I had a large COKE.  Don't let anyone tell you different.  There's no way I could run a cash register after a glass of wine, or anything alcoholic!!  The best part is it contains enough caffeine to keep me awake until 9:30!!
Once set up, we were shocked and surprised to see a younger-than-us lady come in and say she was a new member and here to volunteer.  Really??  The men quickly ushered her into the pull tab section.  I looked at the Castle Lawyer, she looked at me and we literally RAN into the other room and kidnapped her.

I'm leaving in about a month and the Lawyer could REALLY use some efficient help, as we escorted her to our table.  Seems she's the manager type who works at Lowe's.  SCORE for our team!!  In no time at all we had her counting cards and calling out everything to me in a loud clear voice.  DOUBLE SCORE!!  The Lawyer and I have big smiles on our faces by now!!!

We'll call her the Newby Contractor!!  She did amazingly well, and in no time at all will be on the cash register.  In the meantime, her friend showed up to help also.  EUREKA!!  TWO newbys!!  Unfortunately, meek mild Milk Toast didn't do as well, but she can definitely count, making it YOU'RE HIRED in our book.  What a nice surprise!!!

There's no telling how long they will last, as extra help often leaves after a month or so of being trashed by the peasants.  I'm hoping they stay at least until my return, whereupon we'll scrounge up another victim ... I mean volunteer!!

I'm going to try real hard to get my butt up off the couch today and run some errands.  They've been piling up while I lounge around.  I also have a Fourth of July project you may want to try ... that is if I can find all the supplies!!


  1. What do you mean hard to remember what you did yesterday I'm trying to figure out what I did this morning
    Oh yeah I put the telemarketers on hold I'll be right back
    yeah hey the dog just fell off the bed I need to go get him,,, hang on I'll be right back

    Hello,,,hello,,, oh well,,,,
    Hope you have a good day to

    1. GREAT telephone tricks!!! I'll remember those!

  2. Love these telephone answering methods. Thanks for sharing them.

    1. It helps to lessen the anger from being bothered so much!! I love Ed's ideas too!!

  3. I like to ask them if they are having an affair with my wife, and I use a strange foreign accent. One lady said, "affair? with your wife?? what do.." and I say, "So you are a lesbian too???" CLICK Had that one on speaker phone while driving the motorhome, I thought Marcia was going to die...

    1. Hilarious!! Sometimes I feel just a tinge of sorry for them, having to work such a crappy job. Once I even asked them if they couldn't do better. No answer.