Wednesday, May 25, 2022

What Time Is It ..... ???

It's BINGO time!!!!!!!

It was one of those long drawn out mornings where you have so much to do but can't do any of it because you are waiting on the workers to finish the back yard.  I traipsed back and forth between the sewing room and the front window, looking at that pair of Levis that needed to be returned ..... just waiting .......

Here's my tip of the day.  Never EVER buy Levis without trying them on first.  Even though you bought the exact same pair last month and they fit great, that second pair will NEVER fit right unless you try them on.  I bought them because I had a $48 credit at Boot Barn.  Basically, the Levis were free, assuming I can now find another pair that actually fit.  They sat on the counter all morning long, as did the return to Amazon.  

I'll finish up the lawn story tomorrow because BINGO was calling my name loud and clear.  

I arrived in time for a birthday short glass of white zin.  I forgot once and they brought me a glass the size of the Grand Canyon.  This time I got the small version.  You see on your birthday, the Elks Lodge gives you four drinks for free.  I usually give them away.  Now if they gave DESSERT tickets, I'd be in like Flynn.

The chaos soon began.  The peasants flooded in the door to greet the other players already ensconced in their seats.  If you are a member, you have the door code, which means they show up at 2:00 (bingo starts at 6:30) just to be sure they get THEIR lucky seat.  Fanatics I tell you!!!

After getting set up, I opened MY doors like the floodgates at Niagara Falls.  We ran them through in record time before the calling began.

Here's what the balls look like.  We have the fancy machine that blows them around with air.  Open the slot, a ball flies up, you grab it and place it in the special little spot (numbers facing the right direction) so it can be read on the monitors around the room.  As you call that number out loud and place it on the playing table, you grab another.  Your timing has to be impeccable, which of course you know doesn't happen.

A ball got dropped on the floor.  You would think Frankenstein was on the stage as the pitchforks came out in record numbers.  I salute the callers who are brave enough to get up on that stage.  Luckily this guy is a 6 foot 5 inch brute, so the peasants didn't riot TOO much.

Like my infernal machine, the bingo machine has its moments of procrastination.  If you accidentally touch one cord, it shuts down completely.  Resetting occurs by the head Knight of the Round Table while loud mumbling is heard.  You've interrupted their mojo and ye shall be punished.

At last they got it fixed, just in time for seven people to scream BINGO!!  It's hard to divvey up $200 to seven players.  Supposedly the cards are set up with only so many bingos per box of cards.  Once you win, a Castle Guard reads off the number on your card.  That number is entered into the Bingo machine which magically knows whether or not it is a legit bingo.  How, I have no clue, nor do I ever want to find out because that means you can substitute for the CALLER.  No one wants to call because you get stuck with pitchforks.

It's interesting to note that we have almost a complete change in peasants.  I recognize very few of them any more, which means my gal and I are constantly having to reiterate the rules.  Don't lose your red ticket, keep your receipt and YES I AM going to touch your cards because we have to count every single one.  Touching is bad luck.  Too bad!!  They just don't want you to find that extra card they stuck in the pack.  

They also found out we can give cash back.  We do that because they turn around and buy pull tabs by the hundreds.  I again ran out of money for payouts and had to hit the back room for the hidden stash.

One more thing you get .... if your birthday was within the last seven days, you get ten pull tabs for FREE!!  Of course we make them show their drivers license, otherwise they would be getting them every week.  I don't know why they bother, because you rarely win anything.

Take me for example .... yes, even "I" got those little cards.  There must be something I'm missing about tearing the tabs off (therefore called pull tabs) because it wasn't fun at all to get absolutely nothing on the first 9 cards.  FINALLY ... I won a whole dollar on the last one.  Woohoo!!!!  Boy was THAT a letdown!!

And so the night ended as I drove off into the darkness, happy as a clam that the infernal machine balanced yet again.  Until next week bingo .... until next week!!


  1. So looking forward to how the backyard turned out! You're a brave girl every week to keep going back. LOL . People are crazy, especially when there's a little $$ involved.

    1. It's true ... money makes people do funny things.

  2. My VFW gives all member two free drinks on meeting night. I quickly learned to take unopened cans of soda pop I could take home for my drinks.

    1. On meeting night too? We only get them for our birthday. I usually give them away, which makes people happy!!