I'm awake, but barely. There's nothing like a stressful night at the first initiation of the year, dressed in a tuxedo. I admit, I cheated.
Here's how it went. Men ... you can plug your ears. Nothing holds you together better than a pair of support pantyhose. Too tight levis or slacks slide over them quite nicely. I ordered two pair over two weeks ago. As usual with the post office, they did not arrive. Last I heard they were in Kentucky.
Thus I spent almost an hour trying to get into that pair I found in my closet that were three sizes too small. I struggled hardily trying to get all THAT into those teeny tiny nylons left over from my days of working and running marathons, meaning I was MANY pounds lighter. By the time I left for the Lodge, I was exhausted. Think overstuffed sausage ... but the pants fit perfectly!!
I slipped on the chosen pair of black shoes which seem to have shrunk since my working days. Like the levis, I have 20 pair of heels residing in my closet. The next problem raised its ugly head. I have heard in the past that open-toed shoes are not allowed. I have two pair to choose from. Small and smaller.
I got a couple words wrong, but no one noticed. It's so hard to think when there are 60 people staring at you. That's when it happened. We are required to stand for quite some time. Even longer when they forget to rap you down with a bang of the gavel.
The cramp started out small, a little annoyance creeping up the outside of my left leg. Trying not to fidget I did everything I could to stop it. In a flash it turned in to a full blown Charlie horse. I couldn't decide whether to scream out in pain or remove my shoes.
To add insult to injury, NO ONE ELSE had the required closed-toe heels on but me. Somehow I didn't get the memo. There will be a new pair of shoes in my house shortly. That of course means I have to re-hem those pants. Big sigh!!
So here it is, the only tux picture you will probably see of me. He cut my legs off because I don't have any shoes on.