Wednesday, September 29, 2021

The Magic Kingdom Rides Again

 It's a throw of the dice at the Magic Kingdom of Bingo.  You just never know and it's always an unexpected surprise.  The only thing worse than keeping the peasants at bay before the magic hour when they can access the dungeon, is the King not paying enough money.  The BIG secret is that I am the one figuring out how much of the goods we can distribute.  Sssshhh don't tell.

It's always everything we collect, but I never know how much that is going to be until 3/4 of the way through the evening.  Oh yes ... and one more thing that raises the red flag ... only paying $22 per person for the win.

It starts when Castle employees (you can't say a word because they are VOLUNTEERS and we love them for showing up) put things in the wrong places.  Bingo cards MUST be sold in a specific order.  There are six huge boxes in succession, and if you should mix them up and sell them out of order, you have a disaster on your hands.

Such was the case while I was gone and we are still trying to correct that.  The result of mixing up the boxes is having ELEVEN people win a $250 pot, some with the same winning number.  The peasants erupt with their pitchforks and flaming pieces of 2x4 as they collect their $22 each instead of $250.  

I instantly jump up and run for the safety of the concrete safe, mostly because that's where the errors happen and the boxes get out of order.  I called the King.  We spent the next thirty minutes trying to figure out how to fix it.  AND I find yet another out of order box of cards.  It's too late to repair the damage.  Now it will happen again until we either get things back in order or throw two boxes of bingo cards into the moat.  Sorry, but we are too cheap for that!!

The rest of the night went well, with no hair pulling or calls to the Police Department.  With 125 people in attendance, that was a breath of fresh air.  It also helped that we played 22 games and only three had multiple winners, meaning the peasants ditched the pitchforks.  

I also held a quick training session on counting.  It's not as easy as it sounds.  Here too, there is an order in which you must count to keep the infernal machine humming right along.  I'm happy to say the new gal did an excellent job, getting her rave reviews from the peasants.  No volunteers were hurt in the performance of their duties.  Except for my stomach after eating that chili cheese dog.  My oh my!!

The only other activity around Buzzard's Roost was the nailing of the nails.  I do not understand how fence nails can extract themselves from perfectly good boards on my fence.  Many moons ago when I moved in here and noticed this phenomena, I took my handy dandy drill and screwed in mucho dozens of screws to hold it together.  

It's a good thing I did, because otherwise, all the boards would fall off the fence.  Trouble is, I only did the middle, meaning the tops and bottoms are coming loose.  What better way to fix it than to get up at 5:00 on a Sunday morning with my really big skunk fence hammer and pound them back in.  Payback for all those big parties lasting until midnight with Cucaracha music coming from the biggest speakers I've ever seen.  

At last, all is well nailed in the back forty.  In three months, I'll have to do it again.  Truly I wouldn't care, but this is where my tuxedo friends sneak in.

Lastly for the day, because you know I can't sit for more than 30 minutes without something to do, I started yet another quilt.  This one is really weird.  I'll explain that tomorrow, because right now I'm falling asleep at the wheel.  

Sadly, yet again, I smelled that odiferous denizen of the midnight raid on what must be something akin to my love of peanut butter cookies.  Me thinks I probably have another hole to close up this morning.  The critter cam will tell the tale or tail as the case may be.  


  1. There MUST be some easy method to keep people from just grabbing (tearing into) a new batch of bingo cards. Is there a third grade teacher you can talk to, perhaps they can find a "Common Core" solution. (or is it Common Core which is causing the problem????) lol

    You need to ditch the nails and go with screws on the fence...pull a nail, put in a screw, repeat over and over and over again. (only replace nails that are coming out)

    1. Oh I like your nail idea. I tried adding screws, but the fence is so dried out it was too hard to get them started. Using the same hole ... great idea!!

  2. As the wood dries out the holes created by the nails or staples get larger . They “ lose their grip . Screws rarely do this because of the threads gripping the wood in several places .

    One trick professional carpenters use to help nails hold their “grip” is called opposed nailing .
    “ Opposed Nailing “ is where nails are driven at angles opposite each other creating a pinching effect . It works very effectively. The angle can be fairly slight .
    Each nail goes in at approximately 10° angle all your fence nails are driven straight in
    Find a handyman with an air compressor and a nail gun and tell them to opposite nails each slat Useing 2 1/4 coated Exterior nails
    That’ll solve your problem
    . Professional fence builders rarely use screws as they are much more expensive and time consuming to install . Professional fence builders usually use nail guns with galvanized nails using “ opposed nailing “ as I mentioned above . Fast , inexpensive, and attractive .

    1. A NAIL GUN!! I've always wanted a nail gun!!!! Now THAT sounds like fun to me!! Do they work when the wood is old and dried out?

  3. Yes they do don’t buy one you can go to Lowe’s or a rental outlet and rent it for a certain amount per day but you do need an air compressor so you need to read that as well the only bad feature about that is you have to buy the nails the second bad feature is They’re heavy by the time you get 50 feet you’ll be exhausted like the post said cant the nail about 10° and they won’t come out
    If you want to buy one you’ll be cheaper in a pawnshop by 50% just make sure you buy a namebrand And know what size you need

  4. Correction I don’t believe Lowes has a rental department although Home Depot does down here any tool rental agency would charge you about the same per day