Sunday, June 17, 2018

Vampires In The Night

I'm lucky to be alive and not drained of my blood.  I didn't really sleep well, mostly because I had to babysit my smoker.  Little did I realize it may take 18 hours to smoke a full load, but only half that time for one pork roast.   That meant I had to wake up at midnight and close the vent after the wood unit was empty.

I groggily wandered through the house looking for the back door.  Oooohhh it's nice and cool outside ... and dark.  I couldn't see a thing.  Somewhere in the kitchen I scrounged up a flashlight.  I closed the vent and came back in, tripping over Cooper's ball.  It died as I smashed it flat as a pancake.

Back in bed, you already know I couldn't get back to sleep.  Up again, I took half an Advil PM and listened to the lullaby of a mosquito flying overhead.  I swatted and sprayed bug killer until I was wide awake.
At some point I fell back asleep, just in time to wake up and hit the road for the Elks Lodge.  That's when I started to scratch.  There was the biggest bite EVER on the back of my neck.  Vampires in the night ... I hope she gets sick on my cholesterol filled blood.  She could have sucked me dry!!!

In no time I was searching for that tiny tube of cream the skin doctor gave me for the spider bite.  Take THAT Ms. Mosquito!!  The itch went away, as did the inch high bump.

I should have a bed set up in the back room of the Elks Lodge.  There I was again.  Prep for the big Father's Day Brunch was under way, with all three of us panning biscuits and sausage .. you know the drill.   I got home just in time to receive an email from Amazon.

They reshipped my order to the same address that the Post Office refuses to deliver to.  Seriously???  I went back to the Chat line and told them to cancel the entire order.  Oh no Ajanda said .... just reorder and I remove all shipping charge.

Fine ... I reordered, except they refused to send this fruit bar mold to a post office box.  Are you kidding me?  CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!!!!  There will be no homemade fruit bars in my house after all.  I'm actually getting rather miffed at Amazon ... MANY items cannot be shipped to a post office box.  Why not???
I will go to the Post Office Monday to get an explanation, if I'm still alive after having most of my blood removed.  In the meantime, the great white hunter is on the move with the biggest fly swatter I could find.  That mosquito is HISTORY!!!

I'm off to the Elks Lodge.



  1. I forgot to add one more thing about the Postal Service, the best way to get your mail have Amazon put on the top
    (to the resident
    your name underneath guaranteed

    They'll think it's junk mail and deliver it
    You can't imagine how many thousands of dollars the resident of my house saves on buying a new 2018 car or the 50% discount at the local furniture store
    Not to mention how many win cash games he's played or mutual of Omaha life insurance as a new resident he can participate in
    Heck I need the Amazon box just to fill up the junk mail to take it to the trash 🗑can

    As for your mold holders

    And for the mosquito bites,,,,, spray The bite with Windex 👍( it's the alcohol)

    1. Hahaha I forgot about the Windex!!!! And you are right ... Resident mail gets delivered every time!!

  2. Good luck with those skeeters, and Amazon, maybe all will be fine soon?

    1. It's all good George ... now that the mosquito is dead!!! LOL