There are lots of things to see on a farm. Bathrooms are not one of them. These lovely blue things called porta-potties or portables are visible from a long ways off. Unfortunately, it's the only thing we have at the Pumpkin Patch.
Rule Number 1 is of course to use the real kind of facilities in your house BEFORE you go to work, at least FOUR times.
Rule Number 2 is to drink as little water as possible. If it's hot, you can drink more without any repercussions. Drink TOO much and you end up at this lovely blue line.
Rule Number 3 ... because you can't carry a purse, but need more pockets than your jeans can provide, you wear a Hunter Farms apron. Be sure and tie the strings with big loops so nothing hangs down.
Rule Number 4 ... breathe through your mouth, NOT your nose. You will thank me for it.
Rule Number 5 ... take your phone out of your back pocket and put it in the apron. This is a VERY important step if you ever want to see that phone again!!
Rule Number 6 ... NEVER EVER SIT DOWN. There have been 500 small children going through here. Yes they provide seat covers, but trust me, they won't help one little bit.
Rule Number 7 ... take your keys out of your front pocket. They are going to fall on the floor no matter how secure you think they are. Put them in the already heavy apron.
Rule Number 8 ... lean precariously forward and semi squat, being sure nothing is touching ANYTHING while you hold the apron full of phone, pens, tokens, chapstick, keys, sunglasses and money to keep your balance.
Rule Number 9 ... use at least half the roll of toilet paper. You can see through every single piece, so it takes at least 35 pieces.
Rule Number 10 ... carefully stand up and inch forward while you try to get your drawers back in their respective locations.
Rule Number 11 ... get OUT the door before you even touch the items in the apron. You can now breathe through your nose again.
Rule Number 12 ... use the wash station, even if you have to push the floor pedal twelve times in order to get enough water.
Finally, replace your phone, keys, money and whatever so your apron doesn't give you a horrible neck ache for the rest of the day.
Honestly, I think it would be easier to just hide in the corn field.