Monday, March 26, 2012

California DMV (followed by bad words)

I'm warning you up front, there are some bad words in this one!!!

Probably the worst ever trip to DMV was today.  I'm trying to register the Tiffin Phaeton that I purchased in Yuma Arizona.  Unfortunately I have to deal with the California Department of Motor Vehicles.

See this heading on their registration paperwork???  It says A Public Service Agency.  They should actually read that some time.  Apparently, the word SERVICE is not something they understand ... well it is in English ... maybe that's the problem.
After waiting in line for 15 minutes, I got a ticket to wait in line for another 1-1/2 hours before my number was finally called.  THAT person handed my paperwork back and said I had to drive the vehicle down to their parking lot.  I did ... and after waiting another 15 minutes, got called again.  They asked for a certificate of origination.  Stupid me, I didn't know what that was, nor could they tell me what it was, other than it was something they needed.  I called La Mesa RV Yuma, who sent me to La Mesa RV San Diego, who was nice enough to say they would FED EX it to her immediately.

Now the trip out to the RV.  She put all my paperwork on a clipboard and said she would meet me outside.  Five minutes later, I'm still waiting ... but being the patient person I am, I just stood there.  Finally she came out ... ooo'd and aaa'd over the RV and how big it was.  I asked her what she needed and she said the VIN# and the EPA sticker.  I knew where the VIN was, but not the EPA.  She actually asked me for the owners manual, where it stated that the Cummins engine met all California emission standards for diesel engines.  But she wanted a sticker.  Thus began the first of 13 ... yup you read it right, 13 phone calls to find out where the hell the sticker was.  It's next to the drivers side window ... Nope.   It's in the bathroom cabinet ... Nope.  It's in the other medicine cabinet ... Nope.  There's a door to lift up by the bed ... Nope.  There's a door under the bed ... Nope.  There's a door in the closet floor to open ... Nope.  There's some screws to take out in the closet floor and rip up the carpet ... so you REALLY want me to rip up the carpet in this new $200,000 coach?????  ... NOPE with a capital N!!!!  Well if you crawl under and come up next to the engine, it's on the cover of something, except you can't see it cuz it's covered by a piece of black tape ... Nope on that one too, cuz Miss DMV isn't going to crawl under anything.  I'm sorry, but could SOMEONE PLEASE GO LOOK at the same model and tell me how the hell to access the engine????   Well, we would, but we don't have one here.

OMG!!!!!  You just can't imagine ... if I had a gun, I would have used it on myself!!!  Well Miss DMV now says she can't register it without that sticker ... she has to personally see and touch it or my vehicle will NOT be registered.   I said "that's why people register these vehicles out of state and California loses the money".  She wrote VOID on my paperwork and handed it back to me.

I drove home.  MAD MAD MAD!!!  I have now made exactly 13 phone calls, including the first to my (at least used to be) good friend DAN, who suggested I call Tiffin and have them mail me a sticker.  Good idea, except they are now closed!!!  Finally,  I actually spoke to a sane person in San Diego, who contacted the Davis La Mesa RV dealership, who called me very apologetically, and said they would get a sticker for me, one way or another.  In the meantime, Miss DMV is going to get another application with my certificate of origination in the mail tomorrow, and I have to go back and deal with her.  The San Diego office told me they HAD to accept my application and money, and that the verification could be done at a later time, so as not to get caught by the "20 day rule" (register it within 20 days or go to jail!!!)  Why didn't Miss DMV tell me to go ahead and pay the fees????

I was in the REAL service business for 23 years with a public agency.  If anyone couldn't read, or just didn't understand that word SERVICE, we explained it to them.  Unfortunately the State of California doesn't agree with my definition, and certainly doesn't hire or train employees in it's definition or specific uses.

To Be Continued .......  tomorrow after another (I'm sure) AWESOME time in the last place on earth I want to be for even a millisecond!!!

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