It's REAL Alright

 

Yawn .. YAWN and YAWN again.  Four hours of sleep just is NOT enough to face the day.  I'm dragging butt as my Dad used to say.  GET WTH THE PROGRAM!  There's no rest for the wicked!  Gee ... I was ten years old and didn't even know what that meant!  My how things have changed!

Anyhow ... on to the day.  I had a call at 1:11 am ... ummm I think that is the middle of the night ... to help someone renew their drivers license that had (and here's the DREADED WORD) ..... EXPIRED.  

Here's the problem.  Way back in 2005, Congress decided everyone would be required to have a REAL ID if they wanted to fly anywhere in the U.S.  Then they proceeded to pay no attention WHATSOEVER that no one was enforcing that in ANY state.  Oh yes, they put it off for MANY years, leaving everyone to their own devices.  

NOW ... 20 years later ... is the last and final deadline.  Millions of folks who ignored the law, are now trying to get their REAL ID drivers license because flying is required of them for whatever reason.  That means the DMV lines are epic.  Why?  Because TODAY is the DEADLINE!!  

I got my REAL one FIVE YEARS AGO!  How do you get one?  You take in your old (not expired) drivers license, your birth certificate and two pieces of paper that prove you live at your address.  To make it worse, you have to fill out all these forms on-line.  That's fine if you are a computer pro, but most folks are not.  

Problem number uno ... I have a MAC computer.  He had a Windows something or other.  It took me two hours to dig through that computer and find the required information.  Finding a birth certificate from 1943 is another story altogether.  Did they even issue them back then?

Then he discovered his passport had expired in 2017.  Big sigh ... okay, we'll fill out that application on-line too.  

That took up my entire morning, before I was off to the Magic Castle of Bingo.  I have to admit, there were lots of other places I would rather be on this night.  We were extremely shorthanded.  

I started off signing checks of huge proportions ... you just cannot even imagine what it takes to run this place for one year ... and discussed the latest and greatest problems.  I'm getting rather tired of that part.  Then it was off to the "lounge" ... which we all know is the bar ... for some popcorn.  Nothing says ruin your diet like a bag-o-carbs that completely kills the routine you stuck to all day long.  Sort of.  Okay, I fell off the wagon big time.

Finally, we were off and running, when I discovered our caller for the night was the one who got D's in bingo calling.  I instantly got a headache.  It means I have to stay longer because he calls slower ... like an HOUR longer.  

We breezed through the line, only having 107 players on this night.  There is one ... just one ... who bothers me every time.  She comes rushing in LATE, throwing cards everywhere, telling me to HURRY UP because they are already calling the SECOND game.  

My second peeve is that she calls me HONEY, SWEETHEART, DARLING, and thinks that's funny.  In spite of my really bad mood on this night, I bit my tongue ... and slowed down.  Just like the caller.  Bad Nancy!!!

I tore off the first two games and trashed them, which she thought was hilarious.  I thought to ask what she was smoking, but left it alone.  GOOD LUCK I said as she ran to a table!!

It wasn't long before the pitchforks and flaming torches came out.  Only THIS time it was directed at another player.  Each box of this particular game has two winning tickets in it.  You are extremely lucky if you buy THE ONE that gets you $250.  However if you get BOTH of those winning tickets, you must be cheating.  Winning TWO JACKPOTS in one night is a SIN!!

I thought they were going to rip her limb from limb.  The knights had to step in and explain "yes, that is possible".  The grumbling could be heard for an hour afterwards.  Such is the luck of the draw.

I skipped dinner, since I completely lost control and ate a piece of that cake I bought at the Boys and Girls Club.  Banana cream it was ... and though not my favorite, it was quite tasty.  Come to find out, my body doesn't LIKE banana cream cake and has tried to kill me ever since.  Luckily there's no more temptation because I gave the rest of it to a bingo volunteer.  I hope she lives.

With very little sleep and an unhappy body, I'll be recouping on the couch once again.  It seems I've been doing a lot of that lately.  I would pray for some nice hot sun to enjoy on the patio, but the mosquitos have had an epic spring and are out in full force.  Besides, it's Gardener Day.  Maybe tomorrow .........