How Could I Forget??

It was MAGIC KINGDOM night at Elks Bingo!!  How could I forget THAT?  I think I would rather have just stayed on the couch last night, but I knew there would be no one to sell cards and make payouts.  The Castle Lawyer is off in Santa Cruz dog sitting at the beach.  It's a tough life.

The first thing I noticed is the two inch black and blue spot on my forehead has turned a lovely shade of yellow and is still sore as can be.  Luckily I have enough hair left (barely) to cover it up.

The barkeep knows exactly what I order every week now.  He set my coke down on the table before I even got there.  THAT'S great service.  See ... it's not ALL bad!!

Once set up with the infernal machine and cash, I started selling three minutes early.  I could hear the complaining chatter in the Pull Tab room.  Never, and I mean NEVER, open early.  Not that they weren't ready, because they were.  It's Christmas and everyone is cranky!!!

One good thing, on the last day before Christmas, all the ladies bring cookies.  I always try to be nice and take the smallest one I can find.  Sometimes I refuse them, but I suppose that can be considered rude. The thing is, you truly don't know what the kitchen looked like where they were prepared.

I've eaten home cooked things before and gotten pretty sick.  I don't do that any more unless I KNOW the baker.  I'm sorry to say I throw away many of those little treats.  It's the same with RV rallies.  I almost always get sick from eating potluck food.

Maybe it's because some people don't sanitize their water tank, which they are perfectly used to.  I'm not sure ... I just know I have to be pretty careful about what I eat.  I try to make sure no one has that problem with my food ... I ALWAYS use bottled water for cooking and drinking.  Even my dogs, and especially the parrot, get the same thing.

On the other hand, if it came in a box from Costco ... you know the cookies I'm talking about ... I eat them every time!!

Lucky for us, there were no fights or major problems with Bingo winners.  Everyone got paid and the infernal machine balanced to the penny, in spite of my helper (who showed up two hours late) trying to void something when there was nothing to void.

Next Tuesday is the day after Christmas, so there will be NO Bingo.  Yes folks, I hope you have all your Christmas presents purchased, because it's CHRISTMAS!!  

I forgot to tell you one more cool fact.  How could I forget??  While having that lovely baby lamb for dinner Friday night, I whipped out $20 for the raffle.  There is ALWAYS a raffle.  That's one way the Elks make money.  It's usually for booze, in which case I don't partake in the festivities.  THIS time it was for cash ... moola ... green stuff.  

One of the givens is that I never EVER win raffles.  It's always just a donation on my part.  Well wasn't I shocked beyond belief when I actually WON the raffle, amounting to $140.  Not enough to retire on, but Nancy was a very happy camper!!!  

It's burning a hole in my pocket and my fridge is totally bare.  Today I'm actually going to buy groceries.  I've been living on tamales and taquitos long enough.  

I was thinking I would try to roast a prime rib.  Believe me, I'm thinking about it a LOT because I don't want to ruin a $100 piece of beef. I have two choices ... smoke it or just put it in the oven at 500 degrees for 30 minutes (turn it off and leave it for two hours).  What do you think I should do???

I Should Have Known Better

Sometimes you just don't realize what you did until AFTER the results are prominently displayed for all to see.  This is me with the same hairdo I've had for the last 30 some years.  Change is difficult, if not impossible.  What can I say, I inherited my mother's hair, which is difficult at best.  After 60+ years however, I can at least make myself presentable.

That involves haircuts.  Now I know people who can go to any barbershop or salon and come out looking amazing.  I'm not one of them.  The last time I actually let someone try to style my hair 38 years ago, it caused her to break out in tears.  Yup ... she broke out in big tears because she couldn't get it to do anything.

Nowadays, I never let anyone style my hair, just cut and curl it.  Okay, sometimes I get color because I love the idea that no one recognizes me with red hair.  I always exit the building looking worse than when I entered because I fix it myself at home later on.  I wonder what people think when they see me come out looking worse than when I went in.

At any rate, THIS time my hairdresser called to tell me she was running 30 minutes behind.  No problem.  She also mentioned she was sick.  OH NO!!!  Unfortunately there were no other dates I could change to before the RV rally down south.  So I went to my appointment.  BIG mistake.

Nothing seemed to go as it had in the past.  While getting a perm, none of the times seemed to be what she had done before.  She  missed one step altogether.  She cut the back WAY too short and never touched the sides or the top.  All the while I was just praying she didn't cough or sneeze.  I surely don't need another sickness in my life.

I came out looking like a scarecrow with straw for hair.  I put on my dark glasses, ducked my head and RAN for the truck.  It's been four days and it truly doesn't look any better.  This picture was PRE hairdresser.  Today you wouldn't recognize me.  I should have known better!!

I suppose I could have gone to someone else, but it has taken me 10 years to train this gal.  I would never take a chance on someone new.  I will probably be house bound until I can get a handle on this mass of frizz on my head.  Maybe a hat would help!

Since I'm not even going out for groceries (don't want to scare the little kids), I've been rummaging through some of my images.  I found this one from Yosemite.  I liked it so much I had it enlarged and framed.  It was the only image of fall colors anyone got on that trip to capture the fall colors!!  All the leaves were on the ground instead of on the trees.

Speaking of cameras and images, I hooked up with my old College photography class instructor again for some private Lightroom lessons.  Seems everyone is changing over and I'm behind the times, so a little instruction is in order.  Which brings on camera envy ... from both sides ... but that's for tomorrow.

Santa Claus Comes To Town!!

You certainly can't say the Elks don't do things for their members.  It's like one big family.  There's even Uncle Joe who's always grouchy and Brother Bill who drinks too much!!

At Christmas, anyone who is a member and has grandchildren (or children under 8) gets to attend Kids Christmas.  "Please remember to register them ahead of time" ... which some always forget to do.

It was quiet and dark when I arrived at 11:30.  How nice to see it was already set up.  Too bad I didn't see the coffee pot in the corner, but that will show up later.  I waited for someone to arrive ... did I get the right date??

At long last, the cookies arrived with Clint, who wagon masters this event.  Just to show you the dedication, Clint just got out of the hospital two weeks ago after open heart surgery ... the second in two years.  I grabbed the bag of cookies and quickly went to work.  

Nine trays of cookies didn't look like enough when I learned there were 120 people expected.  When the Castle Lawyer arrived, we had a quick meeting in the back room.  She made a trip to a nearby grocery store for six more bags ... just in case.

In no time, we were full to the brim with kids, parents and grandparents.  Here's where the coffee part comes in ... no one pushed the ON button.  Grandparents were surrounding the table looking for something to keep them awake!!  I never drink that percolated kind of black stuff that kills my stomach, so I never gave it a thought.  I pushed the button ... we'll wake you when it's done.  Notice the red and green lights overhead, flashing like neon on Santa's sleigh!!

We mixed up two huge containers of hot chocolate ... Nestle's to be exact, and boy is it good!!  I kept an eye on the table until the appointed time for snacking to begin.  Except wait .... Santa needs help getting in to his duds.  There's no padding in that suit ... it's all Santa, who can't bend over to get his boots on!!

I helped Santa down the back staircase, since the glasses he wears are ones he found and NOT his prescription, meaning he's blind as can be.  I rang the little bell loudly to announce his presence as the Beach Boys sang Santa Claus is coming to town.   

That's when I immediately spotted a long line at the snack table, all getting the hot chocolate and whipped cream that wasn't supposed to be served yet!!  OH NO ... as one Mom filled her kids hot chocolate cup to the brim with whipped cream!!

I shanghaied one of our Grampa Bingo helpers into watching the table while I set up the cookies and ice cream.  That's when I discovered HE was one of those who forgot to register his 6 month old grand baby for a present.  BAD Grampa!!!  I made a quick trip to the stage and slipped into the storeroom where I knew there were extra presents.   

I scrounged through the boxes until I came up with B/G 18.  That's a present for a boy or girl, up to 18 months of age.  Perfect!!  I wrote her name on the label and added it to the tree.  Weren't they surprised when Santa called her name!!  It was a Christmas miracle ... Santa knew she was there, which really was a miracle since Santa had already hit the leftover eggnog from last nights party.  He swore he only had one.

In the end, all the cookies disappeared along with four gallons of ice cream.  At least we didn't ply them with even more sugar ... we left the sodas in the machine and only served water or hot chocolate.  Everyone had a great time!!  I think the grandparents liked it more than the kids!!

After a quick trip around with the dishwashing bucket and bagging up some of the leftover cookies that really needed to go in the trash, I headed back home to the puppies.  Somehow I think Cooper got in the cookies, because he was wired to the max.  Time for a little puppy play!!

Dinner At The Magic Kingdom

One of the perks of volunteering at Elks Magic Kingdom Bingo is the Christmas Dinner we all share on one Friday night.  As I've said before, our claim to fame is Applebees.  If you want a nice steak dinner, that's about the only place to go.  HOWEVER ... if you are an Elks Member, you can partake of the Friday Night Dinners, which are AMAZING!!

Keep in mind, this is a small agricultural burg, but we lucked out and hired a great Chef.  Boy can he COOK!!  The prices aren't too bad either, with steaks and prime rib around $20 each.  As a Bingo Volunteer, you can order anything you want from the menu for your Christmas meal.

I had heard over and over about how delicious the Rack of Lamb was.  In all my years on this earth, I've never tasted it.  I wish that was still the case.  At the behest of everyone at the table who raved about how great it was, that's what I ordered.

I'm a COWperson.  We raised beef cattle.  I do know about sheep, since taking one of my best cutting horses to a trainer in Idaho who had Basque roots.  A rather weird combination.  At any rate, I knew lamb tasted different than beef.  No problem ... I've tried lots of different meats, from bear to rattlesnake to venison.

Nothing prepared me for what I beheld when they set that plate in front of me.  Good grief ... those are the tiniest ribs I've ever seen.  When they say lamb, they mean BABY!!  I was immediately put off, so much so that I didn't take a picture.  I was stunned into silence.

The nice English lady at the table showed me how to eat them.  I cut the ribs apart to find them fabulously rare inside, just the way I like.  Trouble was, by the time I got my knife in there and cut it off the bone, there was one tiny piece about an inch around and half an inch thick.  One very small bite.  I had four ribs, making four bites of meat, each costing $5.00.  I tried to savor every one.

I thought about picking up the ribs and gnawing on the bones, but since I was out in public, I declined.  There wasn't much meat left on the rib anyway.

I admit, it wasn't my taste.  It wasn't gamey or even very strong, but it wasn't BEEF.  I only ate two tiny pieces, then filled up on the best salad bar in the West, along with some amazing clam chowder, trying to drown out the image in my head of a baby lamb.

What a disappointment.  The next morning, I sliced the remaining two ribs for breakfast.  If you stacked the two together, there was about as much meat as one marshmallow, and there was that funny taste again.  Nope ... rack of lamb is not for me.    

The good news is I didn't pay for it at $21.00.  Next time I'll order the rib eye steak ... a REAL piece of meat!!!

Right after breakfast, my doorbell rang with a lovely Christmas arrangement from my Outlaw Sister (ex sister-in-law) whom I adore.  She's a sweetheart and LOVES all things "tree".  Personally I would rather have a gift card, but I know how much she loves this kind of thing, so I'm appreciating it for the Christmas gift it is!!  

Although you can't really see, it's a sleigh filled with greenery.  One sled rail broke, so it's propped up with books.  Sadly, it will end up in the trash eventually.  If this is your kind of thing, it might NOT be your recipient's kind of thing!  Just sayin' ............

Today is the kids Christmas party at the Elks Lodge, complete with Santa.  Once they each get their present, we fill them up with sugar ... cookies and hot chocolate, cake and ice cream ... then send them home wired to the hilt!!  It's going to be a fun day!!

Meteor Showers .... Ha!!!

There are lots of cool things to photograph in the world at night, like the huge Harvest Moon from a few weeks ago.  When it's BIG and shines brightly in the sky, it's much easier to see and capture digitally, like I did here.

Stars are a different story altogether.  They are just too far away.  When I saw all the hoopla about meteor showers the last two nights, I decided to see if I could capture that too.  Since you never know where they are going to happen, you need a VERY wide angle lens.  Unfortunately, that means the opposite of telephoto, making it even more difficult.

It took me fifteen minutes to find the correct mount to match the camera to the tripod.  Once outside, it didn't take long to figure out it was in the 30's temperature wise and I was freezing.  Back inside for a coat.  That's when frustration set in back OUTSIDE.  I couldn't get the tripod to swivel low enough to point UP at the stars.

I drug everything back inside where I had sufficient light.  Got it!!!  Once set up again, I thought I was on my way.  Nope!!!  There MUST be an adjustment somewhere that keeps the head exactly where you set it because the camera's weight wouldn't let it stay where I wanted.  In the past, I just ignored this irritation.  Yeah, I went back inside to find a screwdriver and tighten the head.

At long last, I'm set up, pointing to the sky and waiting ....... and waiting ........

I took a couple of test shots, only to discover my neighbor's garage light was shining so bright, it lessened the brightness of the stars.  Thoughts of a BB gun rushed through my head.

I took several images like this one, but there was no flaming debris flying through the sky.  By now my feet are freezing and I can't feel my toes.  Okay, I admit, I had my slippers on.  Back inside for wool socks and tall boots.

Here's the thing I learned about meteor showers.  They generally happen around 3-4:00 in the morning, at which time I'm snug in my bed.  You use a wide angle lens to capture as much of the sky as possible because you never know where they will happen.

Finally, I saw a streaking light I thought MUST be a plane.  I watched it for five seconds as it got brighter and brighter when it finally dawned on me THAT was what I wanted to photograph.  Too bad for me it was about a foot right of my camera angle.  RATS!!!  I missed it!!

Now that I knew what I was looking for, I persevered for maybe an hour.  That was enough freezing cold for me with nothing to show for it.  I took one last very long 2 minute exposure of Orions Belt so I could at least have SOMETHING to show.  With the lens open that long (which really isn't long when you think about it) you can see the movement of the earth.  The stars become lines instead of dots.  

That's it!!  That's all I got for all the trouble I went through to get set up.  I might have gone to bed with the alarm set for 3:00 am ...... ummmmmm  ..... NO.  I'm too old to be experiencing below 30 degree temperatures just for one picture.  So much for meteor showers!!

It was Friday Night Dinner time at the Elks lodge last night and the Bingo Crew got to eat for free, anything on the menu.  I had something I've never eaten before, but that's tomorrow's story!!

I think I'm Smarter Now

Don't those bumps on your head denote your level of "smartness"?  I distinctly remember them being called smart bumps.  My recently acquired one is now nice and tall covered in wonderful shades of black and blue with a green tinge.

Yesterday's schedule included a trip to the Sewing Machine Doctor in Fresno.  When I purchased this beast which I absolutely love, there was an extended warranty that included repairs and a full cleaning whenever required.  If you do much sewing at all, you know about all the grunge that comes off fabric and gums up your machine.

My warranty with the store in Fresno (which cost me a small fortune) also included all the free training classes I wanted.  Trouble is, I'm gone too much and it's too far away to take advantage.  I wasn't happy I paid so much and got so little, so while it was having it's heart checked out, I went through a myriad of training classes, one right after another.

It was like learning how to operate a computer all over again.  That big blue screen on the right is just that ... a touch screen computer.  Yes, I've been doing several things wrong.  I even discovered there are updates to this ... just like updates on your computer.

In between classes, I found they have a huge selection of fabrics just made for quilting.  Since my favorite store in Clovis is closing it doors, this will be a great place to find what I need.  Not inexpensive by any means, especially since it's about a 75 minute drive from my house.

At lunchtime, I gave them a break.  Not willing to give up my great parking spot, I walked in my newest pair of cowboy boots to the local Mexican Restaurant for some tacos.  That was a mistake.  Almost immediately my feet hurt.  At least there was enough here for three meals.  Too bad I only got one.  I put the leftovers on the back seat of the truck.

At around 3:00 they finally finished my machine and I finished my classes.  I think I must be smarter now!!  That's when I discovered this beauty!  It's pretty spectacular in person.   It's made with my machine and a pattern I already have.  That sent me on a mad dash for the material, most all of which they no longer had.

I gathered up my bags at 4:00 and asked that someone please carry my machine out to the truck.  Actually, it's in a large case with rollers, so getting it there is not the problem.  It's lifting it into the tall back seat of my truck.  A nice gentleman volunteered to help.

I opened the door and spotted the leftover tacos just a tad too late as he plopped my machine directly on top of the box.  I thanked him and shut the door.  I didn't even want to look.

Traffic was terrible as usual, it being so close to 5:00, so I just tucked in behind a truck for the long ride home.  My tacos were mush.  The only thing still edible was the rice, although I did pick out some of the chicken.  

Exhausted, I contemplated the meteor shower.  I've never even seen one, let alone photograph burning things flying across the sky.  I'll tell you about it tomorrow because right now, I'm going back to sleep on the couch!!

It's Good To Be TALL

I'm pretty average as tallness goes.  I can usually reach things on the top shelf.  Yesterday, I was wishing I was six feet tall.

There's one really cool benefit I receive each year from my long ago photography class.  I became very good friends with the Instructor.  So much so that at the drop of a hat, we would take off on a road trip to wherever, to appease our photography itch (something like hitch itch only worse).

He still teaches at the local College, both Beginning Digital and Advanced Photography.  At the end of each semester, I am invited back to the classroom for lots of laughs and M & M's while I critique the newest batch of photography enthusiasts.

Just to be sure I remember the basics, which by now I do automatically without thinking, I decided to review my notes from his class so many years ago.  That binder is around here somewhere!  I searched for an hour and couldn't lay my hands on it.

Finally, in frustration, I opened this very tall cabinet door and spied three big binders.  AHA!!!  Turns out it wasn't an aha moment after all.  I reached up to pull out the stuff stacked on top, grabbed the handle and gave it a big tug.

Were I tall enough, I would have seen the three hardcover photography books laying out of sight.  They all came crashing down and hit me square in the middle of my forehead.  Good grief that hurt!! The sad part .... it was NOT the binder I was looking for.  I gathered up all the flotsam and replaced it on the high in the sky shelf.

An hour later, as I walked by my desk, I spotted the binder I wanted.  It was on the floor, having become a step to raise my surge protector up to help with the too-short cords.  It was fun looking back through the images, most of which are terrible.  Somewhere I have my portfolio from back in the day, but I'm afraid to look for it.  It's probably up on that tall shelf somewhere.

It was a fun class with about ten students, many of which seemed to have home life problems.  Believe it or not, that makes for some very good photography.  For some reason they seem to be able to show that in their images.  Yes, some were terrible, but you never tell them that.  Always encourage in photography.  

The idea of my being there is to critique their portfolio, not just look at the pictures.  A portfolio should flow from image to image, with your second best in the first slot and your best in the last.  Much as I loved the pictures of the horse and the cow, along with a couple of kitties, they just don't work in between two images of night lights.  

They don't see themselves as artists, even though they have created some great images.  Of course I don't consider myself an artist either.  I wish I could show you some of the amazing work by beginner photographers using point and shoot cameras.  Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to take pictures while there.  

At the end of the night, I think they were all pretty happy they passed the class.  Hopefully they take my praise of their work to heart and continue with the advanced class.  

Back home really late, I discovered I have a huge bump on my forehead.  That's going to look really nice today with it's lovely shades of black and blue as I take my sewing machine for maintenance about 65 miles away.  You can't imagine how much fluff gets into the working parts, causing havoc if not removed.  It's 29 degrees this morning, so at least it will be clear driving!!

The Magic Kingdom Wins Again

There's one thing about the Magic Kingdom ... you never know what's going to happen.  It's better to just go with the flow!!

I was pretty lazy yesterday, only taking two loads of stuff to the rig ... important stuff, like a cowhide, my kites even though I've never flown them in Arizona, the "special" toilet paper and ten screwdrivers that migrated to my kitchen drawers.

I spent about 30 minutes on the phone arguing with Bank of America about their new intention to charge me $12.00 a month service fees.  Not going to happen.  I'll find a bank somewhere that doesn't charge senior citizens.  Upon hearing I would close the account, they returned the money.  It's sad you have to threaten banks to keep them from stealing your hard earned dollars.

The only good thing I can say about them is the check-deposit-by-phone is amazing.  Talk about easy ... take a picture of the front and back, type in the amount and it's deposited the next day.  Did you ever imagine being able to do something like that 20 years ago?

At any rate, it was a nice diversion before hitting the steps of the Magic Kingdom.  Thank goodness all the castle employees returned to help out this week ... except the Castle Lawyer.  OH NO!!  I'm here alone?

Seems that was going to be the case.  I can handle it, I just have to be less careful about who gets what cards ... count as fast as I can and work the infernal machine left-handed.    To make it worse, the mini me machine (debit cards) decided to throw a fit and give me all kinds of error messages.  I took charge and unplugged it.

Probably not my best idea, since it got mad and gave me error message after error message about the power outage in the building.  It's been so bad, more and more people are bringing cash ... probably not a bad thing.

For the umpteenth time I explained to the same lady that we do NOT accept credit cards.  Yes, maybe the Casinos do, but the Elks Lodge thinks you should have already RECEIVED that money before you throw it away.

I struggled for the first 90 minutes on the busiest day of the month (welfare and retirement pay day) thinking for SURE someone would show up to help me out.  At long last Connie, our newest helper/bingo player arrived, was kidnapped at the door and chained to my table until the line disappeared.  Thirty minutes later, she was on the floor playing bingo.  I'm alone again!!

As soon as the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed Prince Charming, who gladly came to help me for most of the night.  He saved the day, as Princes usually do.  Not that I required much help by then, but he kept me awake and is of course, charming!!!

Much later than normal, I closed the register and ran the tape.  There was no balancing for me.  The Magic Kingdom won again.  Next week I'll do it all over again, because the Castle Lawyer has a grammar school Christmas play to attend.  Lucky lady.

I still haven't found the macrame cord, haven't gone to the refuge for pictures, and haven't bought water color paints for my Christmas cards.  Instead, I'm going to the college tonight to critique this year's photography class portfolios.  That's always fun because we are paid in candy!!

Windows ... Mine Need Cleaning

Did you ever wonder who comes up with the names of things?  And why they called it that?  I don't, simply because I've got too much stuff in my tiny brain already.  When you talk Windows, I always think "mine need to be washed".  

When my friend called to say a package I ordered had arrived (still no mailbox and some things can't be shipped to P O boxes), she asked me about Windows on her computer.  It was a really long time ago I had to deal with THAT kind of window.

When I first went to work for the County, the computer was housed in a room as big as my house.  You had to put on a coat to enter, since they kept it at a lovely 45 degrees.  We had huge desk-like contraptions that held a monitor and a large square box, which we stuffed with three floppy disks, one at a time since there was only one slot.  Thirty minutes later we would insert a blank disk, where we would save all the data.

When Windows came along, computers had progressed, giving us one screen with many windows into the programs we wanted to use.  It was pretty simple back then ... nowadays it's MUCH more complicated.  So when my friend asked me to help her get 5,000 pictures off her old broken machine and put them on her new laptop, I agreed.  How hard can it be?  I used Windows for over 30 years.  I've got this!!

Well at least I got the folder open where all her pictures were.  I blame it all on Windows since where you find things has changed so much over the years.  Nothing is where it used to be, except Control Alt Delete ... my favorite key stroke.  Delete Delete Delete!!!

Here's the thing ... she would hook up her phone to the computer and it would automatically download every one of her 5,000 pictures ... EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Will she just delete those folders?  Heavens no ... there might be ONE picture that she wants to save.  

That's when I discovered she probably has well over 50,000 pictures on her computer.  No wonder it doesn't work.  So the first step was getting her phone settings straight and going through those 5,000 pictures.  The second step was to go on her old computer and gingerly survey one folder at a time, moving those images she wants to save to a NEW folder, then just deleting the old folder completely.  It's MUCH faster that way.  Still, a pretty daunting task!!

Why not just use a hard drive, copy everything and move it to her new computer?  For one, her old computer is too old for that, and she would then have the same mess on her new one.

The third step will be to copy those NEW folders to a thumb drive, then download them on her new computer.  While surveying the damage and how to make this happen a little faster, something dawned on us.  Do you treasure the pictures of your Grandparents?  Do you like to thumb through your baby pictures?  Or maybe your vacation pictures?  Well here's the thing ... your kids and grandkids will never be able to do that, since no one has pictures printed any more.  Photo albums are a thing of the past and how many times have you gone through the pictures on your computer?

Here's Diane's solution to that problem.  She is taking the best of the best pictures, going through her "windows" and having books made online.  It's really rather inexpensive and her family is crazy about them.  I thought that was a pretty good idea and the perfect Christmas gift.

The other thing she does is create her Christmas cards online, using some of her pictures.  It happens the one above is a water color painting ... my next project, since I STILL haven't found macrame cord.  Maybe I could have them done by NEXT Christmas.  If not, that's your Christmas card!!  Merry Merry!!!

I'm going to go contemplate washing my windows.

I'm SEWING and I'm SEWING ........

In between my fabulous cake decorating (even I laughed at that one) and my adventures in providing sustenance to my body via many cooking disasters, I try to keep busy by sewing and reading.  Yes, there is the occasional repair to the damage done by my gardeners, but for the most part, my house is carefree if you don't count the hot water incident.

About the only maintenance I have is the same as the RV.  I go around every once in awhile with a screwdriver and tighten everything up.  Don't I wish I could do that for ME.  I could use a little tightening!!

The thing is, if I don't sew, I eat.  I'm at the fridge door every hour looking for something simply because I'm bored.

Sometimes sewing is good ..... sometimes it's bad.  I may just have to start a cemetery for quilts.  I LOVE the one in the above picture.  I usually remember where I purchased them, but that one is a mystery.  I only know I've had it for a VERY long time, carting it around with me everywhere looking for backing that would match the material.

I hate this one.  I finally figured out why, other than the color.  It's WAY too busy for my little brain.  Whoever thought this was pretty when it was hanging on the wall in the store was crazy.  Of course that would be me.

There's no denying the fabric is beautiful up close, but get very far away and you will end up with your eyes crossed.  My quilter better work some major magic on this one!!

And so I've started the NEXT one.  Did I mention I have probably 36 bags of material, each with a quilt inside?  This one came from Joanns in Tucson where Miss Patty and I spent a couple hours in fabric heaven ... nothing over $8 a yard if I remember.  

You are supposed to lay them out before sewing, which I tried to do above, so there are no two fabrics in the same square.  That didn't work out so well, requiring me to move these twelve squares around for 60 minutes.  It's a good pattern for me ... it will keep me out of the fridge for at least a week.

Today I'll help neighbor and friend Diane transfer 8,000 pictures from her now defunct computer to thumb drives to make them available when she wants to reminisce.  Hopefully we can cut that down to 2,000.  As computers go, that should make for a thoroughly frustrating afternoon.  

The nice salesman sold her a back-up hard drive for Version 15 of her computer.  She has Version 5, so of course it won't work.  I'm hoping for lots of Christmas magic to make this happen.  I might even talk her into hitting the Game Refuge with me for MORE pictures.

How NOT To Bake A Cake

As you know, many times I try things are are just WAY beyond my skill level.  Such was the case recently when I saw this magnificent cake created by a photographer friend for her five year old's birthday.  Who would not want to make this!!!  From the second I saw it, I was hooked.

I knew perfectly well MY version would not turn out as nice, since I had absolutely no idea how to do this, other than make the cupcakes.  It's EASY she said ... Amazon has the molds.  I went to Michaels instead where you can find Wilton chocolate ready to melt.

I quickly discovered that was the easy part.  Dump the candy in a piping bag and melt in the microwave.  I probably should have left them in a tad bit longer.  As soon as I began squirting the liquid chocolate in the molds, the end would get plugged with an unmelted chunk.

Guess what happens when you squeeze too hard!  There was pink chocolate everywhere.  I was not in the least bit daunted.  Once filled, I banged the cheap plastic molds on the counter to get out any air bubbles.

That didn't work so well, since you can still see air bubbles.  That's when I realized I should have colored some of these darker.  I got out my TWO boxes of food coloring, one never opened.  What the heck?  All but two of eight jars were opened with the foil removed and so dried out they were unusable.  That was a brand new box!!!  Okay then ... pink it is!!

Next up ... the cake.  Cupcakes ..... no problem.  For the cake however, I didn't have a pan small enough, so I used my 6" springform cheesecake pan.  Probably not the best choice.  It took an extra ten minutes to bake, but came out high as the sky and absolutely PERFECT!!  I left it in the pan to cool.

Five minutes later, this is what fell OUT of the pan.  It totally collapsed, becoming a one layer chunk of solidness.

When all was cool, it came time for frosting.  I can make that pretty well, or so I thought.  The only coloring NOT a solid mass, was Royal Blue, not the beautiful Teal I wanted.  Oh well ... onward and upward.  I should have divided the frosting into two bowls ... one white and one blue ... but I didn't.  Instead, I just barely mixed in the food coloring, then began piping away.  

All of a sudden, the pink chocolate pieces didn't look so good after all, against the bright blue background.  I'm sure little pearls and shells of another color would have made it much better ..... or not.  These chocolates are WAY too big.  I should have gone to Amazon.  

So this is how NOT to bake and decorate a cake.  It's probably perfect for that picture show where you see what it SHOULD have looked like and what it DID look like.  If nothing else, I had a big laugh about my decorating skills.  I tossed the chocolate and put the cupcakes in the fridge.  The cake went to the cemetery.  

I know ... that was wasteful ... but you didn't taste it, nor did you get an entire mouthful of half inch thick frosting (more in some places) from the fallen cake, which would have made a good frisbee.  This my friends, is how NOT to bake a cake.  I think I better stick to sewing.

Watch Out For Infomercials

I never EVER watch those infomercials on television that take up at least 35 of my 70 viewable channels.  Remember the sandwich maker?  Just put a piece of bread in the bottom, fill it with stuff (usually including bacon and cheese), put another piece of bread on top and VOILA!!  You actually have a sandwich that would have been better cooked in a frying pan.

Then there are the ones selling the magic face cream of the year that is going to take AGES off your face.  You will have NO lines or wrinkles for a measly $150 a jar.  I've tried them all.  The only thing that will take those lines away is plastic surgery, and even that can go bad!!

As a photographer however, it's a different story.  They don't have infomercials on television, they have them on your phone .... on Facebook.  Photographers will buy anything to help take a better picture.  As you can imagine, it's not all the gadgets that make the image, it's the person BEHIND the camera.

Nonetheless, for most of us, any little extra gadget to help out is a MUST HAVE.  Such was the case when I watched an hour of Scott Kelby, master of photoshop and salesmanship.  He's got the best school on the planet, all available for $99 a year on your computer.  It's true ... I spent a year watching his classes and learned more than I can possibly tell you.

So when he does a show about amazing must-have gifts for the photographer on your Christmas list, all under $100, I watch.  Then I buy!!

Here's the first one, an extra bag to carry lens.  This crap ... I mean gear ... is heavy.  It's like carrying a baby around all day long.  To make it easier on my back, I only carry my camera, so that wide angle  or fish eye lens I want, is always sitting on the table in the rig.  This lightweight bag will allow me to carry three lens, along with a flash and my all important wallet.  SOLD.

Next up .. the platypod.  Where they come up with these names, I have no idea, but if you've ever laid down in the middle of the street to get a picture, you will appreciate this.  My best friend Patty will appreciate it too, since now she doesn't have to run interference with all those cars that come down the street.  

These hook together with your camera mounted on top.  It looks small, but will hold the weight of my 14 pound camera with 5 pound lens attached and not fall over.  It also comes with a long strap that will attach the entire thing (and your camera) to any railing or column for that perfect picture.

The best part of all, you may or may not know that tripods are not allowed in museums, homes or even Disneyland ... especially Disneyland.  This will sit on any bench or post in order to take a perfect non-blurry image and they won't kick you out.  Best of all, I can just set it down in the street and snap away.  No more laying on my stomach hoping I don't get run over.  Merry Christmas to me!!  

As the infomercial went on and the three guys on the panel cracked jokes ... it really was entertaining ... you can ask questions on Facebook and they will answer.  Wasn't I surprised when I asked TWO questions about ball heads (what you attach your camera to a tripod with) and his new book which I ordered but haven't seen hide nor hair of.

He answered both .... right there on my phone in front of everyone.  It was like talking to Elvis Presley it was so exciting!!  Just to make everyone jealous, I received everything in two days!!  TWO DAYS!!  That's amazing service in my book.

Here's another amazing shopping experience I had.  Jesse eats a small amount of canned food that Walmart is not carrying any more.  At $2 a can, Pet Smart priced themselves out of my business.  Just for the heck of it, I tried CHEWY.COM.  If you have pets, you're going to want to check them out.

I ordered two cases (24 big cans) of her dog food, paid $1.25 a can and $4.95 shipping ..... that was $4.95 shipping and received it 17 hours after I ordered.  I kid you not!!  I'll be ordering all my dog food from them from now on.

So my friends, watch out for those infomercials.  They got me for $250.  At least it's something that will work, unlike the five bottles of face cream I have in my makeup drawer!!