Saturday, November 19, 2016

Turkey Revenge

Speaking of turkeys, yesterday about ten Elks got revenge on those turkeys that chased us kids around the yard by cooking eight of them for a challenged children's Thanksgiving lunch.

I think this is the first time in years I've been up, ready to go and out the door by 8:00 am.  It's NOT a good feeling.  It was cold.  Temperatures went from 65 every morning to a chilly 37.  Brrrrrr ... I actually had to start a fire.  My days of the $100 PGE bill seem to be over as I set my thermostats to HEAT.
When I got to the Lodge, the men had already put the turkeys in the oven and were having breakfast. These guys know how to do it up right ... they had omelets and bacon all around.  DARN!  I already ate.  We spent the next hour putting out tablecloths, folding cloth napkins and searching out silverware.

Now .... time to cook!!  Well, not exactly, but MY kind of cooking for sure.  We boiled five pots of water, dumped a pound of butter into each pot and let her roll!!  I whipped up six gallons of green bean casserole, with mushroom soup and crispy onion topping.  I'm beginning to think I was only meant to cook in bulk!!

In the meantime, our County Sheriff Pistol-Packing Vern brought out his personal cutlery and went to work on the turkeys.  Let me tell you, besides being the best Sheriff this County has ever seen, he can COOK!!  Those turkeys came out perfectly done with just the right amount of seasoning and JUICY to boot!!

Just a note about our Sheriff ... he's straight out of the Old West ... definitely MY kind of guy.  He's a no-nonsense Sheriff who believes in the old values.  You will rarely ever find him in his office .. he's either out in his truck (not car ... truck) looking for the bad guys, or out with his horses on search and rescue, or cooking for some organization, always providing the food at no charge.  He's one of the good guys!!  
The Taste Tester on the left above is Fireman Mark, also in charge of Bingo.  Not to be left out, below is Bingo Bob.  He calls most of our Bingo games.  It's nice to be a part of the Dirty Thirty.  That's the group that does everything around here, no matter what the event!!  As with most groups, there's over a thousand members, with only 30 doing all the work.  
Back to cooking, I call it mixology, we dumped the boiling water over the stuffing mix and stirred.  Easy peasy.  The next step didn't work out so well.  We should have poured the box of instant (but rather tasty) mashed potatoes into the pot of water.  Instead, they poured the water into the serving pan, then added the potatoes.  Water and dried potatoes went everywhere.  I thought this only happened at MY house.  Then there really wasn't enough water, because it boiled away while on the stove for over an hour.  WATER ..... we need more water!!!

Next up, the gravy, which was MY job.  Sheriff Vern put a rather small pot on the stove with the water for the gravy mix.  My directions said to add two quarts of cold water and stir, then add to the hot water.  I KNOW how things tend to work out for me and I did NOT want to try and clean up two quarts of gravy that boiled over onto the huge gas stove, over which I would be mercilessly teased.  Vern finally relented and found a larger pot, for which I was mercilessly teased.  It was a lose-lose situation for me.

Lunch was finally served .. turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, green bean casserole, gravy, rolls, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.  WHAT A FEAST!!  The kids were so hungry they came back for seconds and cleaned up everything but the turkey.  
As with most meals like this, there were giveaway bags, only this time it was food.  The delivery truck came rather late and it was a mad rush to get it together, but each one got dinner for a family of four, including a huge ham, potatoes, green beans, stuffing and pumpkin pie mix.  The kids were thrilled!!

I spent the next hour bussing tables and cleaning plates ... boy is that a yucky job!!  In no time we had everything cleaned up and put away.  As I headed out to the parking lot, I spotted Vern who was hiding out in his truck answering emails.  I was parked right in front of him.  Using all my mirror skills, I backed my truck out being EXTRA careful not to get close to his.  Just as I was hitting the brakes, he set off the siren scaring the you-know-what out of me.  I have a feeling that teasing will be never ending!!  It's okay though, he's a GOOD GUY!!


  1. I think you got that wrong hundred dollars air condition PGE OK
    Now you're going to go into the heat mode so PGE is going to turn up the price so if it's been warm that you want -------> $$$$$$$ <--------
    Don't worry they got your debit card number

    1. AND they know where I live!!! Time to go into energy saving mode!!

  2. put your fanciest riding work cowboy boots on Kinda mosey up to Mr. sheriff and ask him if he does any wrangling

    1. Don't think that wasn't on my mind, but alas, he's married to a very nice gal I worked with at the County. So sad!!

  3. Is he single? Sounds like your kind of guy.

    1. He's EXACTLY my kind of guy, but married to a gal I worked with. (Sigh) All the good ones are taken!!