CRASH AND BURN

 YAY!  It's time for BINGO!!  Okay, truthfully I don't think those words have ever come out of my mouth.  Maybe yay ... it's time to see my friends again.

I started the day off right .... with a crash and burn.  I think there must not be anything worse to get off your wood floor than a broken egg.  That stuff is slimy ... sticky ... gooey ... and just does NOT want to come up.  So much for breakfast.  

By the way, the fasting is not working.  I found that I got so weak by mid day that I just sat on the couch doing nothing, not to mention I felt horrible.  I'm back to eating, but trying very hard to cut the portions and lay off the carbs.  Life on a diet is not fun!!

After cleanup on aisle one, I headed out to set up the sprinklers.  You all know how much I love THIS job!  Surprisingly most of them worked pretty well.  I have one broken underground that pours out so much water the last one on the line doesn't work at all.  Big sigh.  

All in all, it wasn't terrible, with only four drips lines cut or broken.  All fixed now, and the lawn looks nice and green.  No worries, it will be green and brown camo looking in no time!!  I think I'm the only one on the block that no one can see due to the amazing camouflage of brown, tan and faded green grass!!

Soon it was time to go.  The worst time of my day, leaving my snuggly kid on the couch.  I already had two phone calls to come in and "fix" things at the lodge, so off I trucked to the Magic Castle of Bingo!!

To pay for unused vacation or not to pay was the question on this day.  It seems our two best employees worked so hard last year they didn't TAKE any vacation.  Wow ... that was never ME!  With that done, I went upstairs to share a nice bag of popcorn with the Knights.  Somehow I completely forgot the diet.  

Time flew by until we were late opening.  We slashed and slammed those cards around in record time, only to find that 30 minutes later, we had no one in line.  WHAT?  That has NEVER happened before.  There must have been something major happening ... an earthquake?  A tornado?  Flooding?  

I'm thinking we are headed into the RED on this night.  Even if only 50 people show up, we have 12 games we have to pay out $250 each.  At long last they began to trickle in with a big crowd at the last minute.  Pitchforks and flaming torches came out because I couldn't ring them up fast enough to get to their table before the games began.  HEY ... it's not MY fault you are late!!!

For some weird reason, on this night ALL the knights showed up ... a rarity.  We are lucky to have four guys selling pull tabs ... our moneymakers.  On this night we had EIGHT.  When someone raised their hand, all of them rushed over at the same time.  It's always a competition to see who can sell the most and collect the most money!

I on the other hand, sat at my nice table and sipped my go juice.  It's coke ... also not good for the diet, but it's free and keeps me going and going all night long.  

There were no knock down drag out fights and no hair pulling, but the torches came out when two newbies sat in the wrong seats.  It takes a long time to explain all the REAL rules, not to mention the PEASANT rules, and sometimes we don't get it done.  When you've got 45 players in line waiting to buy the winning card (which always seems to be sold to the guy in front of them), there's no sitting around explaining anything.  

And then we heard it.  The screeching had been heard in the background, but we all thought it was just some dummy driving too fast down the street.  Suddenly there was the biggest SCREECH and CRUNCH I've ever heard.  It was a BIG crash and burn!

We rushed outside to find two smashed cars in the PARKING GARAGE across the street.  Some yahoo was spinning brodies inside the garage when he got out of control and smashed into another car.  It was EPIC!!  The cops were called and the kids went to jail.  Funny how that works.

With the excitement over, we were back at bingo to find everyone screaming (REALLY screaming) at the caller.  He's a nice guy, but he's slow.  These players ... they have no patience or sympathy for that kind of thing!!  The yelling became almost as loud as the screeching next door.

At long last they calmed down and we finished off the night.  The infernal machine did a number on me, throwing a Received on Account into the mix, whereupon I accidentally recorded an extra $250 payout.  It took me 30 minutes to get that straightened out.  In the end, I balanced ... barely ... and headed out into the cool night.  No worries, I'll be back on Thursday.

It was a late night, I'm tired and hungry, as usual.  So let's see what trouble I can get into today!!