I'm Squashed Out And Floured Head To Toe!

 Early morning gardening really wasn't on my list of exciting things to do, but there it was.  Out we go first thing to water the tomatoes ... not that I need any more tomatoes.  Every single day, this is the harvest.  But LOOK HERE!  Is that a cucumber?  

I kept looking at that plant absolutely COVERED in blossoms, but I never did see a cucumber.  However ... and this is the interesting part ... on this day I found this cucumber completely hidden at the base of the plant, and it looks absolutely NOTHING like the picture on the tag when I bought it.  It's not even close.  I'm guessing these are "pickle" cucumbers.  

But wait ... there's MORE!  I picked four on this day, along with THREE more zucchini.  I'm definitely getting squashed out.

Back inside, Mr. Cooper was already snoring away.  He sleeps most the entire morning long nowadays.  It makes me sad ... not much ball playing any more.

Here's another CHILD that has to be watched constantly.  Someone mentioned sourdough bread and I remember saying "I used to make that".  SQUIRREL .. let's make some bread.  After six days of babysitting this thing, it's time to flour up the kitchen.  

Step one ... stir well and remove half.  Or rather get out your scale because every single recipe I could find called for GRAMS instead of cups.  

Step two ... add the required amount of flour to make autolyse, whatever THAT is.  I checked several other recipes trying to find something in English, but to no avail.  Leave that in a warm place (the counter worked for that since it was HOT yesterday) for two hours.  

That's where things kind of fell apart.  Nancy made a big BOO-BOO.  I should have added the water to the flour and let it sit for 30 minutes before adding THAT to the autolyse.  It turned into something akin to sticky plaster.  By now flour is covering the countertops.  

No worries ... worst thing that can happen is it ends up in the trash.  Now it gets covered up and "proofed" for .... count them .... FIVE HOURS.  But wait ... you have to thrash it around every 30 minutes for the first 90 minutes.  By now flour is all over the floor.  Who came up with this crazy idea?????

To pass the time, I tried to get rid of that squash by cooking another bag of those terrible meatballs, along with some creamy spaghetti sauce that has been in the cupboard for almost a year.  I had to buy TWO at Costco.  I hated the first one, and I hated the SECOND one.  Unfortunately, I'll have to eat it for the next three days.

I was relatively sure the sourdough bread was going to be a disaster, so I decided to back my bet with some bread machine French.  I was actually concerned that just flour, water and yeast wasn't really going to taste all that great, and I was right.  BUT I will toast it up and smother it in boysenberry jam for flavor.  

Still waiting .... until finally it was time to dump the mass out on the floured board, because flour on the counter and floor is just not enough.  Now I'M covered in flour from head to toe.  Let it rest 30 minutes.  Good grief .. this stuff is getting more rest than COOPER!!  

I worked on the puzzle for all that time and finally found six new pieces.

AT LONG LAST ... very delicately make it into a boule (WHAT?) and stick it in a lined basket.  Thank goodness I didn't throw that basket away last week.  

No one told me it takes TWO DAYS to make one little loaf.  Who knew?  Well probably Terry Russell because I can hear her laughing as I type.  She's a cook extraordinaire!!

So what happened then?  You're not going to believe this ... it goes INTO THE FRIDGE for the next 10-12 hours to proof.  And so as of this morning, here it is, safely tucked into a pillowcase because I didn't have the required whatever-it's-called.  

There is certainly NO instant gratification involved in sourdough bread making.  This morning, after heating the cast iron dutch oven in the 500 degree oven for an hour, I will drop this baby upside down in it and begin the baking.  The problem is my oven's temperature gauge has been on the fritz for about five years.  There's no telling what temp it will be.  Forty Five minutes later will tell the tale.  

In the meantime, I will remove the flour from two big counters, the floor, the ceiling and ME, while washing a load of flour covered laundry.  Whereupon I'll probably be out picking even MORE zucchini and some WEIRD cucumbers!!

Squashed and floured, I'm signing out!!