Welcome to 2024

How did my week go?  This pretty much sums it up, though I did offer that last spam caller $500 if he would come help me carry this large VERY heavy container out to the back yard hole I had dug.  He hung up on me.

Oh yeah ... it's a full moon and it's Tuesday.  No matter that it's one day past, the joy will be spread everywhere tonight.  This is the Sturgeon moon.  Why?  Well because now is the time to catch those sturgeon fish for dinner.

Here's the first surprise.  As Elva said last night ... welcome to 2024.  I finally bit the bullet and got an internet service at the house.  In return, I'm cancelling the meals program.  It's good for a little while, but in no time you are ordering the exact same thing over and over.  That will now pay for internet instead.  

Let me just say it was ........ weird.  So this guy shows up from Xfinity, formerly Comcast who had such a bad rep that they had to change their name.  Oh no the guy said ... just BRANDING.  Yup .. because they had such a bad rap no one would use their service any more.  After checking with my neighbors (who all have Xfinity because there's nothing else here), they all said it was pretty good.  Okay then ......

I'm pretty sure this guy was an alien in human clothing.  He shook hands in the weirdest way I've known in my entire life.  I showed him the cable inside that I thought might be THE ONE, but it was not.  Luckily, right next to it WAS the one!  You're wired he stated.

Where's the box?  WHAT box?  I only know of one in the garage.  That's when he mentioned my saddle covered in blankets.  He said he worked on a ranch down south, and his cousin was a big time barrel racer, whose name I did not recognize.  I took a good look at his face to see if I thought that was true, and I SWEAR I saw his eyes blink weirdly.  I digress.

We were out in the garage, then moved to the far end of the garage, back to the far end of the house ... back and forth ten times.  Finally he hollered from the garage.  DID I MESS UP YOUR TV?  Why yes ... yes you did.  My Dish Network was gone.  There were four cables hanging from the garage cabinet and he could not remember which one he disconnected.  OH GREAT!

Another twenty minutes went by while he tried to figure out how to fix it before coming inside and reconfiguring the satellite dish.  He said I didn't have a good connection at all.  Hey ... it worked fine until you unscrewed something!!  Another 30 minutes and my TV was finally up and running.  Is it a full moon?  Is this guy from Mars?

NOW ... he needed to use the restroom.  I HATE it when strange guys come to do work and want to use your bathroom.  GO BEFORE YOU GET HERE!  I googled "how to find hidden cameras in your house".  It was really weird when he came back out  ...  no toilet flushed that I could hear, but I did hear the faucet run, so at last he washed his hands.  So what was THAT all about?  Alien I tell you ... it's why my little Lizzie ran away when we entered the garage.

Time for the modem.  No, it doesn't look anything like this.  It's just a tall white box.  He hooked it up and did all kinds of stuff on his phone.  Negative 10 he said.  What the heck does THAT mean.  No response.  Is that his blood pressure?  

He had to stop everything while he rehooked his suspenders ... didn't want his pants falling off he said.   PLEASE ... no falling pants.  Is it a full moon?  Wait ... was that a head bob???

At long last I connected my computer and was very surprised to find it was fast as fast can be.  I mean ANYTHING would be fast compared to my one bar Verizon MiFi.  By the way, he checked that signal with his fancy dancy machine and sure enough ... barely one bar, meaning it was causing all kinds of problems with downloading stuff.  That's why I couldn't get my email to make contact.

Every time I turn it on now, I've got instant internet.  No more fiddling with everything ... turning it off, turning it on ... it just WORKS.  What oh what am I going to do without all that frustration in my life trying to get my computer to hook up and my email to work?  It's a miracle.  No worries, all that frustration will be back when I'm on the road, because my computer refuses to hook up to the hotspot on my phone.

On his way out, after another alien handshake, he said the cable from the street to the garage was an old one that needed to be replaced.  He put in an order for the home boys construction crew to come and replace it.  Don't be scare he stated ... they look like gangbangers who just came out of L.A. ... but they know their stuff.  OH BOY ... I am SO looking forward to THAT!!! 

There's more news from Canada about my van that I'll relate tomorrow because right now, I'm going surfing ... through the highways and byways of the sky!!!  Maybe I'll run into another alien!!

Welcome to 2024 and the fast internet age!!