A long time ago in a land far, far away, someone created Bingo and called it a pastime. I call it gambling, an addictive thing that removes money from your bra, your purse, your shoes and your piggy bank.
Ewwwwwww is right!!! With summer coming up, it's time to post our WE ONLY ACCEPT MONEY FROM A WALLET sign. No, I'm not kidding.
At any rate, I arrived at the Magic Castle (our 110 year old Elks Lodge Building) one hour before the appointed time, the better to finish a couple glasses of coke. I know that should read wine or margaritas, but I was on the cash register and had been informed a new victim .... oops I mean volunteer ... would be coming in to learn the ropes.
With 125 people in line, she was pretty shocked at all the work she had to do, but jumped in with both feet. I not only had to concentrate on what I was doing with the infernal calculating machine, but keep an eagle eye on her counting. In spite of showing her how to count on fingers and toes, she missed on several occasions. It's okay because I caught it before the bingo players did.
Two hours later she was begging for a break, which doesn't happen in the dungeon. We work our fingers to the bone. The mini me infernal machine gave me fits. Instead of unsolicited reversals (meaning it didn't work) two or three times, it blasted me TWELVE times, making the wait longer, the line longer and the peasants in an uproar.
At long last the calling began and we got a break ... time for the famous, or infamous hot dog dinner. They are the best hot dogs around, twelve inches of delicious indigestion. My new volunteer came back with a chili dog smothered in onions and relish that covered the entire plate. She must not have had any sustenance lately!!
In no time I encouraged her to head home so I could relax a little. Apparently her knee surgery from four months ago was bothering her and she had been up since 4:00 am. Bingo is hard work and not for the weak of heart.
Just to say TAKE THAT, my mini infernal machine closed out on the first try. Last time it took 18 tries. The internet company Comcast says it's because every business on the planet is closing out at the exact time we are. Funny, before they installed their lines, the debit card machines never failed to close out on the first try. Go figure!
At long last and after many yawns, I closed out and balanced to the penny, or at least to within three quarters. Another Bingo night in the books.
Just so you know, I appreciate the comments on the light timer. The funny thing is the directions straight from the package, refer to words that are NOT on the face of the timer, nor in the programming. It says to hit the PGM button .... but there is none. You guys were right however, I had the AM and PM reversed. At least now it comes on at dark, but I'm not sure how long it remains on. By 4:00 am it is dark again. I'll keep trying!!!