Thank you everyone so very much for all the wonderful Cooper thoughts. I just never in a million years thought it would be this bad. I knew he was so much older than most pups, and I tried to prepare myself, but it was useless. I just can't stop crying, I miss him so very much.
He was a huge part of my life. I got up to let him out, to cook him breakfast, to take him for a walk outside ... he was my constant companion. And now I don't know what to do. I just sit there. So my blog is going to be pretty crappy for awhile, and I apologize for that. I just can't seem to get it together right now.
I did go out for a run to try and stop the tears. It didn't work, but I got in a little over two miles.
On Saturday I had a birthday/anniversary party to attend. I should have stayed home. As soon as I saw my bingo friends, I started sobbing. They were very kind, and I did my best to carry on a conversation and eat the carne asada tacos that were very good.
About 80 people were there, most of whom I did not know, so I only took a couple of pictures. These are two of the best bingo volunteers we have.
Back home I fell apart again. It's things like shutting my bedroom door ... oh, I don't have to do that any more. Maybe it's just my age, but nothing has ever bothered me this much in my life. Everyone says to get another puppy, but I don't think I could go through this again.
If you all don't mind, I will be posting a picture of him here and there. I don't know why they can't live forever!
Kitters did her best to distract me. In fact, she has been bothering me relentlessly all day long. Maybe she knows. She hasn't left my side in the last two days. What a pain she can be when it comes to being brushed.
And of course she brought me a present. Poor little lizards, I feel so bad for them. I think this is number 7 that now lives out in the front yard. I'm not sure they survive ... maybe there are 7 DEAD lizards out front.
Big sigh ... I picked up all the rugs and carpets, stashing them in the garage. All his leashes and toys are stacked on the fireplace mantle. If I could keep busy, I would feel better, but alas, nothing is working.
I did drive the van ... only four cold starts to go. And I tried to finish that same quilt, but the program screen froze up (that's what happens when you upgrade and upgrade) and I got motor errors right and left, so nothing on the longarm works. Seems nothing is going right in my world at the moment.
You know that feeling when you want a distraction ... to go somewhere ... but you can't think of any place to go? That's me right now.
Thank you again everyone for your kind words ... they mean so very much to me!! I'll try to get my act together!!!
It is not easy losing a pet, I think Kitters knows what's going on.
ReplyDeleteTake care!
Frances:)
It's terrible Frances. Kitters probably senses something since she bothers me constantly. lol
DeleteMany do not realize that pets become part of our families. They sometimes take the place of a two-legged companion. The big difference is that they seldom argue back or comment on our Bad Hair Days. They do simple things out of Love for everything that you do for them. Playing fetch, the ball is not only for their exercise and amusement but your's as well. Don't think of the bad times, just all the Happy Memories that put a smile on your face. If Cooper saw you like this right now, he'd be in your face making you forget about why you are feeling the way you are. He may have been you're reason to keep going, but you were also his. It was the Love, and still is.
ReplyDeleteStay Safe and Enjoy!
It's about time.
100% .... I think it's the toughest thing to go through. Even harder than losing my horses.
DeleteYou're welcome to hop on a plane and come visit us.
ReplyDeleteOh Jan ... what a nice thought. I am actually going out of town in two days. I'm hoping that will help a bit.
DeleteIt is so hard when it is their time and we cannot do anything about it. Many years ago, my husband passed, our two Labradors and helped my parents when their Lab passed in the space of a year and one half. A very hard and difficult time. I did have another Lab after that, but when she passed I decided that at my age there wouldn't be another. Take care and know that prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's just not fair ... we should all live forever.
DeleteNancy it takes a lot of time for the heartache to ease. Two years ago next month I had made an appt. to have my 15.5 year old
ReplyDeletefur kid get his wings and that evening my 55 year old son received his wings from pancreatic cancer. I was with them both and the pain eases a little but it takes time...a lot of time.
Sending hugs and prayers.
Sue
Oh Sue ... that's awful. I don't know how people survive such loss. You are a strong woman.
DeleteGive yourself time. Be kind to yourself. None of us are judging how you grieve. Grief is powerful so let it do its thing.
ReplyDeleteLinda Sand
It's worse than I expected.
DeleteSomething I think I read on AL's page. " Grief is love, with no place to go " You have a lot of blog friends praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right .... and I had lots of it!!!
DeleteYeah I think Kitters knows something is wrong she would also notice the Copper isn't around and of course she can sense you sorrow and wants to fix it and make you stop crying
ReplyDeleteThat's very possible JoAnne. She has never spent this much time inside before.
DeleteI cried for months when my Skittlez died. I didn't know it was possible to cry like that. Grieve for your beloved Cooper. Cry, scream, do nothing, take care of yourself. Whatever you do is okay. And please post pictures. We all love him too. Jim and I said that after Skittlez died there would be no more. Our hearts couldn't take it. But I still miss having one around.
ReplyDeleteThat is my thought so far ... I don't think I could go through this again.
DeleteAgain, I was so sorry to read earlier today on Facebook that little Mr. Cooper had died. One thing for sure he lived as long as he did because he had the best "mom". You took such great care of him and he had a wonderful life. Hugs
ReplyDeleteP. S. Posts lots of pictures we all enjoy seeing that sweet little face.
He was definitely a sweetheart. He kept me going on several fronts!
DeleteI still miss mine when I open the door after being gone or while I picked weeds. She always kept me company. Eating that last bite of pizza, that she would always wait for, was hard to choke down for quite a while. It was her favorite. You have to eat and take care of yourself, but it's hard when your appetite is gone. Love & hugs to you, Nancy.
ReplyDeleteSO many memories come up ... and every one makes me cry. I guess it will get better, but it's going to take a long time.
Delete