Merry Christmas!!!

Oops ... did I get that wrong?  I mean really, as soon as dinner is over, the Christmas rush is on!!  In fact, it actually began last night at midnight!  The Friday after Thanksgiving has become the longest day in the history of mankind, lasting close to 48 hours!!

Some people love the hustle and bustle.  I probably would too if I lived close.  It's the 45 minute drive to get there, then fighting for a parking place, that hits my NO WAY button.  If you really have to shop the sales, the internet has just as many deals.  It would be nice however, if everyone shopped their local small businesses ... those Mom and Pop stores struggling to survive.

In my area, that consists of the local liquor store.  Unfortunately the saying "shop small" came too late.  We have Best Buy, Target, Walmart and Kohls.  I guess you could count J. C. Penneys too.  The only Mom and Pop stores are the taco shops, if a dozen taquitos are on your Christmas List.

Having been spoiled with pre-packaged dinners this last week, I'll be back in the kitchen today with a beauty looking just like this.

Although my Personal Chef is offering 20% off on orders, I'm a little hesitant.  Last week I found a long black hair in my Carne Asada.  Now I'm not all THAT squeamish, I took it out and nuked the dish for like five minutes before eating it.  Unfortunately, this week I found another.  This time it went in the trash.

I fired off a message to Matt immediately stating my concerns.  He apologized profusely, but my stomach was already on the outs.  He made a statement about how his crew ALWAYS wears hairnets, but the people who chop the beef for those dishes do NOT.  YIKES!!   I had three of those dinners and two came up with human hair.  Those odds are a little too high for me!!  Aren't I the lucky one!

Sorry, didn't mean to gross you out.  At any rate, today I tackle my little 12 pound Butterball.  I should have him in the oven just in time for some football.  I'm a little short on groceries for Thanksgiving Dinner.  The whole no-bag thing threw me off my game and I forgot the veggies.   The puppies and I are having turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy.  That's the best part anyway!!

If you see lots of smoke and hear fire engine sirens, pay it no mind.  It will just be my turkey cooking.  Well done is always better than RAW!!

Jonathan, Jessie, Cooper and I wish you

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Am I Awake Yet??

Every Wednesday I have a morning after hangover from visiting the Magic Kingdom of Bingo.  I'm pretty sure I'm up, as in out of bed, but I'm questioning whether I'm awake or not!!  It was a long night.

I remember enjoying myself at the upstairs Sky Lounge with a very large glass of popcorn.  They were short on clean popcorn cups.  Best fresh made popcorn in town.  Four of the Bingo Crew and I were gearing up for the night's festivities when we spotted something new .... a Nacho Machine.  Lala Palooza!!!

Who knew popcorn, fresh roasted peanuts and nachos don't really go together well, especially when you top it off with a glass of coke.    What a way to start the night!!

The usual fare was NOT being prepared in the kitchen.  The Temporary Soda Jerk came to our table and demanded to know where the Cooks were.  I was instantly rendered mute by her purple hair.  If someone didn't find them, she was closing up shop and going home ... in no uncertain terms.  YIKES!!  The kitchen is off limits to us, so we told her to hold her horses while we searched the castle far and wide for someone to wield a spatula.  If there's no food in the castle, the peasants will RIOT!!

Finally we located the Castle Secretary who at least knew how to turn the stove on.  After my early appetizers, a stomach grumbling hotdog cooked by a less than novice chef wasn't going to be on my menu.  I complained until someone stuck $40 in my hand and said GO GET PIZZA!!  You don't have to tell me twice!!

Prince Charming and I headed off to the Castle root cellar, better known as Costco, while someone called in the order.  Someone forgot to tell me what they ordered and whose name it was under.  As usual, I got in the wrong line ... you pay first from the line with 25 people in it ... then you stand in the "pick it up line" for 30 minutes while they try to find your order, only to discover it's not been made yet.

Eventually, I ended up with TWO boxes of pizza which were to feed 20 workers.  I'm sure you can imagine how THAT went, especially when the Court Jester took FOUR pieces.  Two when I walked in the door, and another two when they were laid on the table.  Good grief ... isn't it Thanksgiving??  Did no one teach you manners???  He's older than I, so I just kept my mouth shut like a good little Castle Accountant.

It was a long night.  One of our new Callers thinks she's special and should get VERY special treatment.  Spouses of workers get to play for free.  She received special dispensation and her mother-in-law now plays for free.  If that weren't enough, she THINKS she shouldn't even have to write a check.  Here's the deal .... buy whatever you want, write a check.  If you win, you get the payoff AND your check, minus the cost of the bingo cards.  

Everyone plays by the rules except her.  She didn't want to be bothered with writing a check.   (Very LOUDLY) "What, you don't think I'm good for it?"  No ...... no I don't.  I've seen you in action in the past and MY cash register isn't going to be short.  PAY UP!!  She went straight to the King, who gave her a BIG HUG because she was so distraught.  I stood with my hands on my hips.  She wrote the check.  

By the end of the night, I was exhausted, was feeling nauseous from all the Crappy (with a capital C) food I'd eaten and I wasn't in any mood to be tested.   Thankfully the till balanced and we left to the peasants cheering HAPPY THANKSGIVING.  

This morning as I mull over in my head all the bad food I ate and contemplate my aching body, I figure I'll share the love and remind everyone that Christmas is coming!!  It's time to shop until your wallet is empty or your credit card full.

Personally, I don't go out on Black Friday, but I DO have a short on-line shopping list that requires attention.  Maybe I'll get to it after my third cup of coffee.  It's going to take that much to wake me up!!

PAPER OR PLASTIC??

Who knew there was so much controversy around whether you wanted paper or plastic bags to bring home your groceries ... or whatever else you bought at the store.  This is pretty crazy!!

I understand the problem with plastic.  There are just entirely too many bags floating around the country.  I blame a LOT of that on the grocery stores.  For years now, the store baggers have been putting two or three items in each bag.  I was forever telling them to FILL THEM UP!!  Why are you using so many bags?  A trip to the grocery store always resulted in ten or twelve bags by the time I got home.  Course I only go once a month.

Mostly, that worked for me because I reused them as wastebasket liners.  What am I going to use now?  I guess I'll have to buy the heavier, more expensive variety in the store, STILL making for more plastic in the local dump.  Most of the time I ask for paper because they make good cage liners for Jonathan's little abode.  I don't have a problem paying for them, but many people can't afford that little extra cost.

I also understand they are a problem for wildlife, but can someone tell me how thousands of bags get into the ocean?  I'm thinking most of those bags end up in the trash.  Why aren't we holding the trash companies responsible for everything that flies out of their trucks?  Just take a drive by our local dump and you will see the evidence plastered against the fence for miles!!!  How about recycling those bags?  This entire County does NOT recycle.  They say it's just too expensive.  The only thing we are allowed to recycle is cardboard boxes.

Having an invite to Thanksgiving Dinner from my friend, I volunteered to bring the rolls, since everything else had been taken care of.  That meant another trip to the store.  I scrounged around in my truck and finally found a filthy, worn out reusable bag to take with me.  

When I got to the store, I promptly forgot and left it in the truck.  It would have been embarrassed to have anyone put stuff in it anyway.  I found quite a few other things I needed for the upcoming Rally in Indio, so I filled my basket.  It wasn't until I got to the checkout counter that I realized they had no bags whatsoever!!  None, zero ... zip!!

Actually, there were these tiny reusable ones ... it would have taken seven to get my stuff home.  That would be another $7.00.  I turned around and wandered down the aisles in the liquor section until I found an almost empty box.  I snagged that puppy and found one more they had just unloaded in the picnic supply aisle.  Take THAT baggers!!!

As I came down the aisle to checkout, I heard someone say RATS ... forgot my bags.  I pointed to the stack of half empty boxes in the booze section and smiled.  She got the hint.  I did have a fleeting thought as I entered the check stand they might not let me TAKE their boxes, but the nice man said no problem.  I'm pretty sure paper bags (if they had them) would have cost less than the boxes I absconded with, but at least I didn't have to unload everything into my truck, to have it roll all over until I got home, whereupon I would use my plastic bags to get it in the house.  

On my way to the truck, I DID see a little old lady unloading a bunch of canned goods into her car, with NO bags.  I imagine when she gets home, she will have to make twelve trips to get her car unloaded.  What about these people who can't afford the reusable bags?  

PAPER or PLASTIC is now a thing of the past.  It takes oil to make plastic and trees to make paper.  I guess we decided trees are more expendable!!

On a happier note, I've been doing needlework most of my life, always holding the frame in my hands.  I have a little clip-on lamp/magnifying glass that has fallen off on Cooper's head so many times, he refuses to sit on the couch with me if I pick up the frame.  At long last, I found the perfect holder.  It's got a HUGE magnifying glass, more light than I could ever use and it just sits on the floor.  Cooper is a happy camper!!

It being the night of Magic Kingdom, I decided to whip up a little treat for the peasants ... cracker candy.  You may have heard of it ... maybe not.  It's an old Southern recipe, or so I was told, made from saltine crackers.  Weird, right?  But you know me, I'll try anything once!  It's similar to English Toffee, but much easier to make and quite tasty!!  I'm hoping to soothe the savage peasants.

I'm off to look for grocery bags.  I think I remember getting a couple of bags at quilt stores that will work, if I can find them.  I know I have a couple in the Jeep, but if I can't remember to take them in to the store, I will NEVER remember to switch them from the truck BACK to the Jeep.  Or maybe I'll just take my stack of plastic bags and let the baggers reuse those.  Won't they just enjoy that!!!

California's Going Green - Sort Of

It was a nice lazy, rainy Sunday yesterday.  My plan was to stay home and not have a plan.  After watching television and doing a little boring house cleaning, I spent some time snuggling with the puppies, THEIR favorite pastime.  That's when it dawned on me I didn't have all the ingredients for my turkey dinner.  I need to make a grocery run.

But first ..... I saw a recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip moon pies.  YUCK!  That really did NOT sound good at all, but I happen to have one last can of pure pumpkin in the cupboard.  Maybe I'll just try them.  They were a real quick fix and an even quicker bake.  Ten minutes later I got to try the first one.  Not bad .. not bad at all!!  Well darn ... now I'm one cookie short of a pie.

What a shame .. I'll have to eat another to make them come out even.  HOWEVER, lets make sure that one has frosting on it!!  I whipped up the cream cheese filling and grabbed my pastry tip.  I guess I need new glasses because I had a slight miscalculation, ending up with the tip stuck to my knuckle.  Yes, those little points are sharper than puppies teeth.  Now a bloody mess, I spent ten minutes trying to staunch the flow and bandage my finger.  Never a dull moment!!

I frosted the one remaining cookie and scarfed it down.  MY OH MY that was delicious!!  I packaged them up in Christmas tins for a run in the freezer.  Oops!!  I forgot about all those meals I have stashed and there was no room.  I called my girlfriend who happens to live on the way to the grocery store and she agreed to let her family be guinea pigs.  She got the largest can of goodies.  Now ... off to the store!!

Apparently there's even MORE fallout from the election than I thought.  California voters determined by a minimum vote of 52% to remove single-use plastic bags from the planet, at least California's portion of the planet.  Who knew?  I never saw any signs, nor any advertisements that it had even passed.  When I got to the counter and was asked the usual question ... paper or plastic ... I said paper.  

Paper bags work better for me.  They stand upright and don't let everything roll out on the floor.  "That will be 10 cents each".   Really?  Ok then, how about plastic?  "That will be 15 cents each".  Are you kidding me?  "No ... ever since that stupid election, you have to pay for grocery bags."  Yikes!!  So I guess I better stock up on big reusable bags and carry them around in my vehicles.  Trouble is, I never remember to put them BACK in my vehicles!!

I understand it will be nice not to see plastic bags all over the highways and byways of California, but honestly, most of them are due to the garbage company trucks driving 60 mph down the road without covers on their loads.  

You would think they would just go to recyclable paper bags.  I'm sure it all sounded wonderful when people voted, they just didn't expect it to really impact THEM, nor did they realize how many people they just put out of work.  Those bag manufacturing plants are now closing.  I wonder who gets the money for those grocery bags?  It looks like just one more special tax!!

Wouldn't you know ... each store keeps the money for themselves, to offset the cost of those overly expensive paper bags, keeping that industry alive and well.  Once again, Californians got the wool pulled over their eyes.  They voted for something that sounded wonderful without looking into who it would impact.   

As I walked out the door, I heard comment after comment about what a rip-off this was.  Yes ... yes it is.  Did you vote for it??  Maybe when you secede from the Union, you can write entirely new laws and get your plastic bags back.  In the meantime, they sell the big reusable bags for $1.00 each.

DIRTY JOBS!!

Modern day dirty jobs are quite different from days of old.  My grandfather came from the Isle of Man, an island just off the English coast.  He and some of his 11 siblings immigrated to the West Coast of Canada.  I have no idea why and back in those days no one spoke of where they came from.  It was like you needed to keep it a secret.

His name was William ... Bill for short ... and apparently he didn't like Canada.  Instead, he came all the way down towards Southern California, then headed to the high desert where land was cheap.  There he set up shop raising cattle.  After a couple years, he sent for his wife Jessie to join him.  They had two boys, William (Bill for short) (remember this because there are going to be a lot of Bills for short) on the left and James (Jimmy) my dad.  Yup, that's my dad.  Back in the old days, English men wore dresses and tights until they were five years old.

Unlike today, there was no place to buy feed for the herd.  You had to make your own without the help of big tractors to make quick work of plowing up the ground.  They used horses instead.  It took days to get through just one field and was a really dirty job.  That's my grandfather on the right.  This is where I was heading when I unceremoniously got stuck in the gate.

Once the soil was sufficiently softened, the Moline Seeder was attached to the horses.  Round and round they would go, dropping oat seeds into the soil.  There was no irrigation like you see today.  This was dry farming.  You did all that work, then prayed for rain.  LOTS of rain.  Church was an integral part of the week.  We all piled into the very small front seat of a 1950 Chevy pickup and drove to the tiny church, with room to seat about 20 people.  We did a little rain dance at the end of every service.  

If we were lucky and the rain fell, there were oats to cut and harvest to feed the cattle, that is if the locusts didn't get to it first.  Locust scared me.  When I heard they would eat everything, I thought that included me.  There were no big hay balers in those days where you drove along in an air conditioned cab and listened to Bon Jovi.  After the stalks were cut with a horse-drawn sickle, it was back breaking work to pitchfork the hay onto the horse drawn wagon, then pitch it again into the barn.      

There were no breaks or lunch hours, but there WAS a really big breakfast early in the morning before daylight, then another feeding at dinner .... steak and tea always being on the menu.  Remember, my grandfather was English.  Sometimes there was butter for the bread my mother made, depending on whether or not I had found a way onto the kitchen table.  

Not that we killed a cow, that never happened.  What DID happen is every time one died, for whatever reason, all work came to an immediate halt while it was cut and wrapped, then tossed in the freezer.  If by some chance they didn't catch it soon enough, it was left to the surrounding predators.  I never did find out what "soon enough" was, but I'm still alive, so I suppose they had good judgement.  

As you can tell, I was a go-getter.  There was no keeping me down on a blanket in the front yard.  Being an escape artist however, was hard work and sometimes got me in hot water.  Actually, MANY times got me in hot water!!

It's a beautiful Sunday morning, so I'm heading out to the Game Refuge to see what's up in the air and on the ground.  There should be lots of Sandhill Cranes and Geese flying around for my photographic endeavors.  

Turkey Revenge

Speaking of turkeys, yesterday about ten Elks got revenge on those turkeys that chased us kids around the yard by cooking eight of them for a challenged children's Thanksgiving lunch.

I think this is the first time in years I've been up, ready to go and out the door by 8:00 am.  It's NOT a good feeling.  It was cold.  Temperatures went from 65 every morning to a chilly 37.  Brrrrrr ... I actually had to start a fire.  My days of the $100 PGE bill seem to be over as I set my thermostats to HEAT.

When I got to the Lodge, the men had already put the turkeys in the oven and were having breakfast. These guys know how to do it up right ... they had omelets and bacon all around.  DARN!  I already ate.  We spent the next hour putting out tablecloths, folding cloth napkins and searching out silverware.

Now .... time to cook!!  Well, not exactly, but MY kind of cooking for sure.  We boiled five pots of water, dumped a pound of butter into each pot and let her roll!!  I whipped up six gallons of green bean casserole, with mushroom soup and crispy onion topping.  I'm beginning to think I was only meant to cook in bulk!!

In the meantime, our County Sheriff Pistol-Packing Vern brought out his personal cutlery and went to work on the turkeys.  Let me tell you, besides being the best Sheriff this County has ever seen, he can COOK!!  Those turkeys came out perfectly done with just the right amount of seasoning and JUICY to boot!!

Just a note about our Sheriff ... he's straight out of the Old West ... definitely MY kind of guy.  He's a no-nonsense Sheriff who believes in the old values.  You will rarely ever find him in his office .. he's either out in his truck (not car ... truck) looking for the bad guys, or out with his horses on search and rescue, or cooking for some organization, always providing the food at no charge.  He's one of the good guys!!  

The Taste Tester on the left above is Fireman Mark, also in charge of Bingo.  Not to be left out, below is Bingo Bob.  He calls most of our Bingo games.  It's nice to be a part of the Dirty Thirty.  That's the group that does everything around here, no matter what the event!!  As with most groups, there's over a thousand members, with only 30 doing all the work.  

Back to cooking, I call it mixology, we dumped the boiling water over the stuffing mix and stirred.  Easy peasy.  The next step didn't work out so well.  We should have poured the box of instant (but rather tasty) mashed potatoes into the pot of water.  Instead, they poured the water into the serving pan, then added the potatoes.  Water and dried potatoes went everywhere.  I thought this only happened at MY house.  Then there really wasn't enough water, because it boiled away while on the stove for over an hour.  WATER ..... we need more water!!!

Next up, the gravy, which was MY job.  Sheriff Vern put a rather small pot on the stove with the water for the gravy mix.  My directions said to add two quarts of cold water and stir, then add to the hot water.  I KNOW how things tend to work out for me and I did NOT want to try and clean up two quarts of gravy that boiled over onto the huge gas stove, over which I would be mercilessly teased.  Vern finally relented and found a larger pot, for which I was mercilessly teased.  It was a lose-lose situation for me.

Lunch was finally served .. turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, green bean casserole, gravy, rolls, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.  WHAT A FEAST!!  The kids were so hungry they came back for seconds and cleaned up everything but the turkey.  

As with most meals like this, there were giveaway bags, only this time it was food.  The delivery truck came rather late and it was a mad rush to get it together, but each one got dinner for a family of four, including a huge ham, potatoes, green beans, stuffing and pumpkin pie mix.  The kids were thrilled!!

I spent the next hour bussing tables and cleaning plates ... boy is that a yucky job!!  In no time we had everything cleaned up and put away.  As I headed out to the parking lot, I spotted Vern who was hiding out in his truck answering emails.  I was parked right in front of him.  Using all my mirror skills, I backed my truck out being EXTRA careful not to get close to his.  Just as I was hitting the brakes, he set off the siren scaring the you-know-what out of me.  I have a feeling that teasing will be never ending!!  It's okay though, he's a GOOD GUY!!

Turkeys Can Be Turkeys

If you ever felt kind of sorry for all those Thanksgiving turkeys, you don't have to.  I can tell you from experience, they know how to be "turkeys" really well.  I'm sure that's where the old saying "he's just a turkey" came from.

One thing we always had at the ranch was a freezer.  It was huge, heavy and so noisy when running, it was kept out in the storeroom where it became the last resting place of our problems.  Turkeys are mean, mean, mean!!  They will peck at you with their beaks, slash at you with their claws and chase you around the yard.

Lucky for me, I was too small to have the job of feeding.  It involved carrying a large bucket full of grain from the silo.  That bucket was VERY heavy for a seven year old.  Then you had to open the gate to the pens while a hundred turkeys raced to smash you against the fence looking for dinner.  You had to be really fast not to let any out.

My brother wasn't fast enough.  Not that they ran away, the turkeys who escaped usually stayed around, waiting for the next round of grain.  Unfortunately, they became the gauntlet you had to run through every time you left the front yard.  That's why I spent LOTS of time in the front yard, never having the nerve to face the mean old turkeys.

One day my brother was told to get in the truck.  He knew the turkey was out there, so he armed himself with a small rock.  Sure enough, just as he went through the gate, here came the turkey on the run!  He threw the rock like Giants baseball pitcher Bumgarner on a Saturday afternoon.  Who would have ever thought it would hit it's mark.  My brother should have become a pitcher.

Instantly, the turkey was dead as the rock clocked him right in the head.  UH OH ... you're in trouble BIG TIME buddy ... you killed a turkey meant for market.  He told me to shut up and tried to hide it behind the sagebrush in the yard.  It's pretty hard to drag a 20 pound dead turkey.  CAUGHT!!  That resulted in a spanking of epic proportions.  We lived on the sale of those turkeys.  They bought parts for the plows which provided feed for everything from turkeys to horses to cattle.  I ran and hid behind the house just to be sure I was far away from any fallout.

To supplement OUR dinner table ... I only remember having turkey that one time ... my parents would go pheasant hunting every season.  In those days there were so many birds you could get your limit in no time.   Nowadays there's not a pheasant in sight.

There was always meat in the freezer ... in fact, sometimes that's ALL we had for dinner.  If something died, accidentally or otherwise, it went into cold storage.  It's called living off the land, which I remember we did quite nicely.

The Wild West

I suppose it's not really the WILD West any more, but many times I certainly wish it was.  I would gladly drop all the trappings of present day to return to the early 1900's when life seemed a little simpler.  I ran across some old pictures doing my twice-yearly house cleaning and decided to post them.  Life in the Old West was kind of hard, but not knowing any better, we always had fun.

I was born in Miss Friese's Maternity Home late one afternoon and was taken home to the ranch at the bottom of a little valley.  I remember going to town in a rusty old pickup ... an exciting trip, to say the least ... over washboard dirt roads.

This is the town of Onyx (pronounced Ah-nix) where I spent many hours growing up.  This is it ... the entire town.  Located out in the middle of nowhere, the Onyx Store still exists over 100 years after it was built.  Pretty amazing, right??  Hardware, gas and oil were their main sellers back then. Today they no longer sell gas.

What about food you say?  There were no grocery stores back then.  We raised beef cattle for sale, keeping one or two for the freezer.  We also raised chickens and turkeys which we sold to the neighbors along with the eggs they produced and had a milk cow or two for milk and cream.  What few veggies we ate came from a tiny garden in the back yard. 

Today you see Tiny Houses as new modern structures.  We had tiny houses WAY back ... the entire house would fit in my living room today.  There was a kitchen/dining room/living room combo (the original open floor plan concept), a pantry and two very small bedrooms.  All of that was surrounded by a little brown picket fence because we couldn't afford white paint.  In no time, I figured out how to escape.

As I got a little older ... like three ... my job was to make cream into butter with an old churn that was as big as me!  Child labor was alive and well.  The milk was left in the ice box overnight, then the cream skimmed off the top and placed into the churn.  I sat on top of the kitchen table and churned until I thought my arms would fall off.  

Once done, we dug it out with spoons and plopped the white goo into glass containers.  Butter really isn't yellow ... it's almost completely white unless you add dye which we did not have.  

In the "old" days, you left the butter out on the table because in the ice box, it became hard as a rock.  I loved butter so much that I would climb up on the table and eat it by the handful.  What a disgusting little kid!!  For that, I got several whacks on the butt, which I remember to this day!!  Eventually I learned how NOT to get caught!

From the very beginning, I was an outdoor girl.  At 3-1/2 I escaped the yard and wandered off across the ditch to the field where the horses were.  Too bad I got caught - literally.  I immediately got stuck in a board gate when I tried to crawl through.  It was late in the day, so I just hung out and took a nap.  Someone finally discovered I was missing and broke me out of jail by unhooking my shirt caught on a nail.  For that little adventure, I got another swat on the butt!!

Maybe a few butt swats would have resulted in less rioting in recent history.  There were always consequences to our actions, which I have to admit pretty much kept us alive.  I'll have more stories on down the road.

Magic Kingdom .... YAAAAAY!!!

It was a great night at the Magic Kingdom of Bingo, except for the box that fell on my foot, the peasant who threw a temper tantrum over $5 she said we stole from her and the cheaters who got caught doing what they do .... cheating!!

The day began as usual, EARLY, but I was excited to try out my first blueberry pancake breakfast container of food.  They even included syrup.  Although I removed everything to a plate for ease of nuking in the microwave, I discovered these containers are both microwave and dishwasher safe.  Perfect for reusing.  Truthfully they were as yummy as pancakes can be ... it's all about the syrup in my book!!

Lunch was salmon with NOT overcooked veggies, which was a plus.  Can you tell my life revolves around food??  There's just not much else to do but eat and read.  At any rate, the salmon was super good, but twice what I SHOULD have eaten.  It didn't take me long to figure out I need to split these meals in half.

Finally it was time to head on down to the Castle.  I was quite early, so I stopped in at the Sky Lounge, which has no resemblance to a REAL Sky Lounge.  It's on the second floor of a 100 year old building, in a room with NO windows.  It DOES have a bar with good alcohol at cheap prices, which is why everyone wants to be an Elk.

I can usually find my cohorts having ... believe it or not ... non-alcoholic beer before the onslaught of peasants.  I stuck to my usual coke.  When time came to head downstairs and set up, there were several large boxes that needed to make the trip with us.  I'm not saying we're all old and feeble, but we are definitely OLD and probably shouldn't be carrying boxes down tiny stairs not built to current code.  The Castle Custodian dropped the box right on my foot.  Good thing I had my best old pair of boots on.

Things went pretty good in the beginning, but with the Castle Lawyer calling in sick, that left me with two Newbies.  Instead of working the dreaded machine myself, I let them take over.  The peasants spotted them immediately and began plotting an overthrow.  "I'll give you my cards, then I'll go up to the table and tell them they didn't give me what I paid for ... they'll give me more and they will be FREE".

Never trust the Castle Accountant.  I had already given the speech about the peasants trying to pull the wool over their eyes.  The Newbies said NO.  Mainly because she didn't even have a receipt to show she had purchased anything!!  The screaming began.  Finally, one of the ill-informed men bought those games for her out of his pocket.  The temper tantrum began when she STILL insisted we owed her $5.  I took her into the Safe Room ... you tried to cheat us .... you LOST ... get over it ... and so she did!!

Next up on the Cheaters List, one gal bought the required $20 cards, then came back for two more which were then half price.  Those two she gave to her friend at the table who had not bought in at all.  Nope .... can't do that my friend ... everyone has to buy in at $20.  There was lots of paper shuffling, but with no second receipt to be found, she gave up the extra $10.  We're not talking large amounts here ... $5 ... $10 ... even as low as $2!!

At the end of the night they all went back to their own castles, the infernal machine balanced perfectly (YAY!!!) and we received our pay for the year.  A frozen turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner.  Not just ANY turkey .... a 12 pound BUTTERBALL turkey!!!  We all cheered for the King.

I think today I will write down all the meals I can easily prepare to fill the containers, along with a shopping list.  This way I'll be set up to make my own while I'm on the road.  I'd love to have Matt ... we are on a first name basis now ... ship them to Oregon, but he's not set up for freezing and the taxi to deliver them would just be too expensive.  In the meantime, I really need that little thing that makes Zoodles (noodles) out of zucchini.  I had those with turkey meatballs and pesto sauce and OH MY it was DELISH!!!  Who knew??  Maybe it was just the sauce, or maybe it just wasn't cooked by me!!

SMILE!! You're On Candid Camera

Yesterday was all about cameras.  I'm pretty familiar with cameras, but you'd never know it if you talked to the saleswoman from my Alarm Company.  She was quick to tell me she knows absolutely everything about security and cameras and alarm systems and military security and on and on ... and even tried to scare me into buying.  She knew of FIVE home invasions in my neighborhood alone.  Funny, I never heard of them.  My bet is they don't sell many systems with her sales approach.

I at least expected her to take a walk outside to see what areas I needed covered, but the entire time was spent sitting at my dining room table.  I don't need internet she said, just a recorder.  I can view it any time to see who might be in my back yard or at the front door.  If I buy a "decent" television, I can even check it from my bedroom.  She missed the whole reason for having a video system, even though I explained it to her three times.

The numbers are pretty outrageous ... don't laugh.  I can lease the system of three cameras for an up front cost of $925 plus a yearly charge of $840.  I can PURCHASE the system for $3,000 and pay only $360 a year for monitoring.  If they break, I'm on my own.  None of that includes internet.  I did finally talk Xfinity (previously Comcast who probably changed their name because of their bad service reputation) into providing high speed internet at my house for $900 a year.  Pretty crazy, right??

In the end, I think it will be cheaper to reseed my lawn every time it dies!!  Last night I decided I can spend $3,000 removing grass from the back and landscaping with gravel and slate, lowering my water bill and my anxiety about dead lawn.  Even that will be put on hold for now however, as I've found several houses in Arizona to check out.

MY OWN PERSONAL CHEF!!  The second thing I did yesterday was hang around to receive my meals for the next three weeks.  This is a service I thought I'd never see in my neck of the woods.  Yes, you can sign up with ones like Blue Apron who deliver all the ingredients to your door, but you still have to cook them.  These are all par-cooked, meaning they finish in the microwave or oven as you heat them up.

This happens to be the Get Fit menu which I ordered on-line from Valley Meal Prep in Modesto.  On Mondays, they deliver right to your door.  In my case, I figured out which ones would freeze best and put the remainder in the fridge.  Last night I had perfectly cooked salmon with two-pepper-mushroom veggies.  No more casseroles!!!  Maybe a cupcake or two ... I can't give those up.  

It was delicious and more than I could possibly eat.  I'll know next time to split the meals in half, making it even more wallet efficient.  All 28 meals (more than enough for three weeks) including delivery came to $210.  The other cool part is I can make up my own order if I wish, from the huge list they have on-line.  Not that I won't cook any more ... these will take the place of my Lean Cuisines.

AND I just had another thought!!  These are very cool washable containers.  I can write down the contents and refill them myself ... at least with those meals that don't end up in the cemetery.

I spent the rest of the afternoon making banana bread from the twelve I received at Saturday's Bingo. We didn't have near the 120 kids expected, and all those bags with candy and fruit had to be separated.  The candy was saved for another day.  Although we usually donate to the Rescue Mission down the street, they have moved their kitchen facilities elsewhere, so all the volunteers took a few home.

One more super moon image I took this morning.  She was beautiful peaking through the trees as I sipped my coffee on the patio to the barking of dogs and crowing of chickens.  I do LOVE living in the country!!

Moon Over Miami

Anyone living on the East Coast probably saw an amazing sight as the moon rose above the horizon.  I'm not sure if it was another Harvest Moon or a Super Moon, seems we've had several types this last year.  It almost felt like you could reach out and touch it.  Through the camera lens, you can even see the curvature.  VERY cool!!

I was definitely looking for better pictures and would have preferred a location far from my back yard, but it would have required driving a couple of hours.  Instead, I perched on top of my motorhome.  After the first 43 I took on a rather shaky tripod, I discovered my camera settings had magically changed.  It's not the first time and I have no idea HOW it happens.  The ISO setting changed to AUTO, causing very grainy images as it added light, you know, because it's DARK outside.  A setting of 100-200 would have been perfect.  

I really didn't pick up on it until I noticed the manual settings didn't look right.  I kept having that nagging feeling in my brain that something just wasn't as it should be.  Sure enough, the ISO setting read 25,600 instead of 100.  How irritating!!  It took ten minutes to crawl down off the rig and another thirty minutes of scrolling through the 10,000 item menu before I finally found the problem, at which time it was really too late for more pictures.

Apparently that was also the problem two days before when I took these images.  Not quite a full moon, the clouds made for some interesting colors and light.  I never could quite get the image I wanted ..... no wonder with incorrect settings.

It's all about capturing the light in photography.  Entirely too much light, thanks to my ISO.  I'm going to play around with them a little today and see if I can fix the problem.  That's one nice thing about Photoshop ... you can change most all of the settings for an image AFTER you download it to your computer.  

For those that may not have seen it, 60 Minutes interviewed Trump and his family last night.  Seems there won't be a return to slavery and he is Pro Life but says that issue has already been determined by the Supreme Court, as has gay marriages, which he has no intention of changing.  The only immigrants he's going to deport are those with criminal records and Obamacare will be changed/replaced being sure that no one misses even one day's coverage.  He said everyone will receive a cut in income taxes ... I like that one ... and he's not taking that $400,000 salary except for the $1 a year he is forced to accept as President.   

It was interesting to note 60 Minutes brought up Trump supporters were being hateful to people (Clinton supporters I assume) and what he planned to do about it.  They totally forgot to bring up the Clinton supporters who are rioting, damaging personal property and burning the American flag.  It's also interesting that neither President Obama nor Mrs. Clinton have publicly told people to stop demonstrating and rioting, least I haven't seen anything about that. 

I'm not really a political person, I hate politics, but I did sign up with Trump on Facebook.  He feels it's a perfect way to stay instantly connected with the American People, a modern form of communication.  I have to say I agree and it's a way to stay updated on what his policies will be.  So far I agree with what he's proposing.  Time will tell.

I'm meeting with a security "expert" from my Alarm Company today about installing cameras to keep an eye on my mowers and blowers.  Sad that it has come to that.  I'm a little leery of someone who's just SO excited to see me, however ... can't you just hear her voice?  I'm pretty sure she's more of a saleswoman than an expert.  Those cameras at Costco are looking better all the time.

Photoshop Magic ....... just so you know all those golden moon pictures out there are a little enhanced.

I WON THE LOTTERY!!!

I'm now $5,000,000.00 richer.  Can you believe it??  Me either, because it's not true.  Anthony sent me an email yesterday ... calling me his Beloved.  He congratulated me on behalf of his entire church congregation.  I just became the WINNER of a hunk-o-cash.  God must know that I'm strapped for money and has decided I am the ONE.  All I have to do is verify my name, address, phone number and my driver's license number (?) in order for the Parish Priest to deposit every single penny into my bank account.

I can't tell you how tempted I was to furnish a bunch of majorly incorrect information and see how long it would take them to recontact me.  At that point, I'll ask them to verify THEIR information.  It could be quite entertaining!!

Yesterday, I spent most of my time at the Elks Lodge.  We filled 100 bags with apples, bananas, chips and candy for the Challenged Children's Bingo.  Then it was time to fold the 100 T-shirts we would give them.  I seem to be a little challenged in the folding department .... I think it took longer to stack the shirts than it did to fill the bags.

Immediately the first problem jumped up.  Rarely do we get more than 6 volunteers.  For whatever reason, today we had 25, who all promptly grabbed a shirt.  I have to say it looked nice to see everyone in purple, even if it did make most of us old folks look rather pasty and dead.  Trouble was, we only had 75 shirts left for over 100 kids.  Luckily someone found a box of grey shirts left over from last year.

We had four tables of prizes laid out for the winners.  When the kids won Bingo, they got to pick a prize, usually with the help of an adult.  In the end, there were three times the number of prizes as kids, so they kept playing until every prize was gone.  I love the Elks!!

I see a sea of purple shirts!!  So about half way through, my hip started hurting again, when I finally had an epiphany!  The day before as I walked out of the laundry room with a handful of clothes, the door handle just reached out and grabbed my butt ferociously!!  OUCH!!!  Not exactly a correct rendition of the words I spouted, but this is a PG rated blog.  They say you don't remember pain, but it came flooding back like a tsunami.  No WONDER my hip hurts!!!  I spotted a chair and sat as long as I could.

Finally it was time for my closeup ... I'm the restaurant coordinator.  Most of the men cooked in the kitchen, if you can call boiling hotdogs cooking.  I plan on mutiny next year in favor of putting those dogs on the grill.  They made up some burgers ahead of time, which the male staff scarfed down just in time for lunch, along with lots of chili, which meant we ran short.  What do you DO with these guys!!  

As the kids came through the line, they all had to wait for more burgers to be grilled ... cheeseburgers being high on the menu.  We ran out of chips AND chili, but had enough hot dogs left over to feed an army.  There's nothing better than leftover boiled dogs, right?  

Once all the kids were gone, I limped around cleaning up.  See those metal food warming trays?  They have jars of lava underneath that you light, keeping the water in the bottom pan hot.  Anyone know how to blow those out?  I tried ... it didn't work.  Luckily the guys saved the lids, which I shoved carefully over the flames with a pair of tongs.  

BANG!!!  My heart jumped up in my throat and I think my feet came off the ground.  What in the world?  Apparently that can of lava didn't go out ... and the resulting gases popped the top into the bottom of the pan.  GOOD GRIEF!!!

After cleaning up the ink and soda stained tables, we set up for the Brunch happening today.  Finally back home, I plopped on the couch for the duration, taking a couple of advil.  This morning I think that door handle just might go bye-bye!!