NEVER REMOVE THE TAPE

 Well .... that's a pretty deep subject ... it was 2:42 am when I got up this morning.  Things haven't been going as swimmingly as I hoped ... or prayed for that matter.  

Since I had a tad bit of Cooper chicken left over that he decided wasn't his favorite any more, I dumped it out for the young fox.  Although I rarely do this, at least it's a snack they are used to.  Chicken!

It's interesting how they paw at something before taking a bite.  It's like maybe it's a big spider that they need to turn over first so they don't get bit?  Maybe they want to make sure it's dead.  It's especially interesting when there's absolutely nothing else exciting to show you.

The morning didn't start off all that fun.  Although I did get a pretty good night's sleep, my back didn't stay in place.  I woke up to feel it pinching pretty good.  BUT I needed to jump in the shower as an Elks meeting was on the horizon.  I took the tape off.  No one told me not to.  BIG MISTAKE!!!

By noon I was begging the chiropractor to let me back in the door.  It all turned out to be a lesson in bones.  First off she said NEVER EVER EVER REMOVE THE TAPE.  Gosh, that might have been useful information 24 hours ago.

Apparently your ribs just float around there like a boat going down the Colorado River.  If you make the slightest miscalculation, you're dumped in the water upside down.  That brings about some excruciating pain when you try to get back IN the boat.  

I couldn't hardly move at all, let alone lay on that table.  Oh my Great Aunt Louise!!!  The chiropractor tried again to get everything back in place.  Finally she said to stand up.  There was no way that was happening.  It took two of them to get me upright.  

WHERE'S THE TAPE!!!  So this time she taped me up from head to toe, reminding me not to remove it.  She didn't have to tell me twice ... that stuff is staying on for the rest of my life!!

They seemed to be a little concerned about my breathing.  I think they thought I was going to die on the spot.  It didn't dawn on me til later that I do breathe differently than most everyone, and it probably scared them a little.  I take a lot of deep breaths, and here's why .....

You've probably never heard of biofeedback.  It's how you use breathing to relax your muscles and control your heart rate.  I did lots of that training when I had severe migraines a hundred years ago.  Add to that marathon training.  After the first couple of miles, you have to force yourself to take a very deep breath, something like a big yawn, in order to open up your lungs and keep running.  Add to THAT the fact that I'm a scuba diving instructor where you ALWAYS breathe through your mouth with deep breaths because that's where the regulator with the oxygen is.  If you breathe through your nose, you'll drown.  SO .... no need to panic because I breathe funny.

I went straight home, took three Advil and iced it down immediately.  About an hour later I began to feel a little relief, which of course was Cooper's cue to play.  No kidding, he bugged me for over an hour while standing on the back of the couch, but I wasn't taking any chances.  

I tried to crawl into bed, but that didn't work so well.  I tried the OTHER side, which of course is where Cooper sleeps.  He wasn't too happy with this interloper taking up HIS space.  It didn't last long because by 2:00 I was wide awake.  Everything is sore and ouchy.  There's no use being miserable, I just got up and headed for the coffee.  Maybe I'll catch a few winks on the couch later this morning.

For all of you who have or have had back problems, my heart goes out to you.  Good grief ... this is NOT fun and probably the worst I have ever been in my life.  Even worse than when that horse rolled over on me!!  In the end, I'll survive because I'm tough ... as long as I never remove the tape.  

Here's your laugh of the day.  Just look at that bathing suit!!  This looks like the early 1900's, yes??  And that hair!!!!!  Yessirree ... I ran for Miss Merced County way back in the day of ratted hair and tan lines.  I found out afterward that it wasn't all above board.  The lady who "trained" the girls for this scholarship competition already knew who the winner was going to be.  It was really no matter to me, I was more into horses anyway!!

And so today will again be spent on the couch.  One good thing about this .... I'm totally cleaning out all my kitchen cabinets of everything edible, trying not to go to the grocery store.  Again, I'm not taking any chances!!  I've got four cans of chicken, two of tuna and lots of noodles.  That should last me a week or so!!!

And finally ... always remember ....... NEVER REMOVE THE TAPE!!!