In The Name Of Dieting

As you all know, the latest and greatest diet craze is Keto.  Eat all the fat you want (not really, you must keep the quantities small) and cut out all sugar and carbs, including bread, rice, pasta and potatoes.  The carbs were easy.  On the other hand, I'm addicted to sugar.

I eased into to this around the first of May.  It was super easy.  After all, I just LOVE bacon and anything involving CREAM.  Surprisingly ... I am truly amazed ... I lost ten pounds.  At that point it all came to a screeching halt.  It was easy to cut back on the portions again, because honestly, I was never hungry.  In fact, many times I just ate because it was noon or 5:00.

That's when I heard it is very hard on your kidneys, or so they say, so I cut out a lot of the cream stuff.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, I cheated here and there.  Mostly with Kirkland ice cream bars.  I decided you really could eat kind of healthy on this "diet", so I quit making all the cream-cheese-cheddar-cheese smothered vegetables and began grilling them.

I'm happy to report that finally, after 3-1/2 months, I've now lost a total of 13 pounds.  Want to know my secret?  It's my fat girl shorts.  Don't laugh.  Yes, one little pair of denim shorts has helped me lose the latest 3 pounds.

Here's what I did.  I bought a pair of shorts one size too big.  The cool thing is they were really comfortable around the house.  Heavens no, I would never go out in public with them ... they are house shorts.  They actually made me feel skinny(er).  Wow ... these are big ... I MUST be losing weight.

Believe it or not, they helped me stick to the good-for-you foods (in smaller portions) because I tricked myself into thinking the diet was working.  I know, me and my brain are weird.  I'm at the point now where they almost fall off.  The best part is my REAL shorts and skorts fit SO much better!!!

So .... in the world of Keto ... here's the latest and greatest.  THIS is a dash waffle iron for $9.99.  We are making Chaffles.  It's pretty disgusting, really.  One egg, a dash of vanilla and cinnamon, along with a cup of shredded mozzarella cheese.  It looks even MORE disgusting.

When waffle irons say they are done (the light goes out), they lie.  You really need to let them cook until the steam stops.  Wasn't I surprised to find THIS when I opened the top.  Wowwee!!!  

It was a little limp, as waffles go, but no matter.  I added a little butter and smothered it in fake maple syrup.  Yum yum!!!!  In the interest of full disclosure, not really.  Actually, I think you are supposed to eat only one little triangle.  

I dove in with relish.  I guess I can say it's different.  My eyes were saying Sunday morning waffle, but my taste buds said salt with a little bit of maple.  I kept trying bite after bite, expecting it to taste like waffles.  It never hit the mark.

I see lots of people using them as sandwich material.  Maybe that will taste better.  In spite of all the vanilla and cinnamon I put in, I only tasted salt.  So now you know ... chaffles suck ... but if they keep me losing just seven more pounds, I'll be a happy camper.  I wonder what else I can use this waffle iron for??