My SECOND (And Last) Official Letter Of Reply

Mr. Robben Davis:

Robben, Robben, Robben .... I'm terribly disappointed at this point in my transactions with the African Government.

Shame on the U. S. Department of Homeland Security that has instructed the U. S. Government to sieze my funds.  By the way, that's spelled SEIZE.  That money, originating in Africa,  is meant as compensation to all the scam victims, which I am entitled to be a beneficiary of.  Wait ... did you just end that sentence with a participle?  Anyway,  how dare you meddle in my business.

I understand you, as the Department of Homeland Security representative, have agreed to be in charge of disbursing the funds, in agreement with the Economic Community of West African States.  Okay, I forgive you for holding up my millions.  How nice of you to help us poor Americans get what's coming to us.

I have taken note of your distribution schedule, but you haven't even mentioned the AMOUNT of money I'm receiving.

24hrs/$170USD

48hrs/$120USD

hrs/$100USD

What happened to the $27.5 million that was just going to be deposited in my name directly into my account??  

I see your alternative is delivery by a Diplomatic Agent, with an extra charge of $320.  That sounds reasonable, since I'm getting over 27 million, however I'm not sure how you are going to be able to load that much on to an ATM MasterCard as you have stated.  Please do not send me 200 ATM cards as that would look rather suspicious.

Just to be sure I have this correct, you want my full name, my mailing address and my phone number.  So here goes:

Name:      Busty Valentine (as per the last Name Game I played)

Address:  Bank of America, P. O. Box 0000, Los Angeles, California

Phone:     11325-6667-4312-9

Age:       A gentleman NEVER asks a woman's age.  You're out of luck on that question.

Sex:       Only if you pass all the extensive tests at the local hospital.  You can't be too careful these

days.

Please respond quickly, as I've already spent the first million using my credit cards.  By the way, are you married?  Maybe you want to come and help me spend $26.5 million???

Breathlessly awaiting your reply .....

Busty

In the meantime, while I await my millions, I'm off to cooking school to revive the old 60's trend of FONDUE!!!  Maybe I can impress Robben with my cooking skills.