GUARANTEED!!!

Things that are guaranteed to last a lifetime, probably won't.  That's one life lesson I've learned again and again.  Just when you need it, it doesn't work.  That's how my morning began after sleeping in my wonderful soft bed!  

I didn't get as much space as I really wanted, nor as much sleep, but it was definitely better than the floor or the couch!!  I slept in until 4:47.  As soon as I stood up, it dawned on me the sprinklers had not come on for a couple of days.  I grabbed my trusty GUARANTEED-to-work flashlight and went outside to check the control box.

The light flickered twice before going dark.  Luckily, they came in a 3-pack.  I had two more chances to light up the world.  Number three worked.  

The sprinklers did not.  Two more geysers meant another trip to Home Depot and a reminder of why I really need a man around the house.  Two of the packages I picked up from the box with the correct description of what I wanted, were NOT what I wanted.  I didn't notice until I got home.  I need half patterns, not full patterns.  

While there I figured to get a mailbox.  Online, it said this store had four to choose from.  In the store however there was only one locking box.  I know better than to read the side of the box and believe it.  It said "can be mounted on a post".  

This is not my bailiwick.  I called for an Associate who I'm pretty sure knew less than me, but I'm desperate for a mailbox.

He insisted this was the "post" required.  I was thinking more 4x4 redwood.  $187 dollars later, I left with both.  After reading all the instructions, this will work, but must be the correct height or the Post Office won't deliver.  Like they ever "deliver" anyway.  No matter, I'm excited to get it in the ground.

It's not going to be very far in the ground, only about twelve inches.  That just doesn't sound like enough, so my idea is to make the hole deeper, dump in half the quickrete with a quick stir, then set the post and use the rest of the cement.  Sound reasonable?  I have my doubts.  

If this turns out anything like my cooking, I'm in trouble.  Maybe the post will slip OVER a 4x4.  I'm going to measure.  That would be a MUCH better solution, GUARANTEED.

With my stack of returnables on the counter, I decided dinner would be fresh salmon.  At least it was fresh when I put it in the freezer.  It was cooking away beautifully when the door bell rang.  No one comes to my door, so I was suspicious.  The dogs went crazy!!

There stood four kids selling tickets for something.  It's usually for school stuff and I always buy.  This time it was for the political campaign of their Aunt's sister's husband's second cousin, or something like that.  How could I turn them down?  I bought ONE ten dollar raffle ticket, GUARANTEED to win a 20-gauge shotgun.  Did I mention he was running for School Superintendent?

WAIT!!  My salmon!!!!!  I rushed into the kitchen to find it rather on the burnt side.  I love crusty cooked salmon, but this was a tad overdone.  Oh well ... at least the middle was edible!

I finished sewing the last few squares of this quilt ... another one guaranteed to make you go blind.  I'm hoping Joanna will check it out and let me know if any squares need to be moved BEFORE I stitch it together.  I actually did find one error already.  

Early this morning I'm heading out for a short run.  My hips have been bothering me, actually keeping me awake at night.  I'm hoping exercise versus sitting on the couch all day, will help loosen things up.  I'm thinking sciatica?  In which case you are NOT supposed to run, but it seemed to help yesterday, so I'm hitting the road again.  It should also help mitigate those pieces of key lime pie I ate, GUARANTEED!!