Hold Your Nose .......

Someone turned the thermostat up in Central California.  At least the mornings are still cool enough I can open all the doors and let the breeze cool down the house.  Once closed up again, the temperature inside stays in the 70's until about 4:00 ... good for my PG&E bill.

Yesterday however, the flame on the burner reached a high of 85 degrees by 10:00 in the morning.  That's when I went trucking off to town to find the bandanas to make this wreath.  Right off the bat, the still present odor of chicken manure permeated every corner of my garage, but once inside the truck, sweet oranges from the car wash wafted on the a.c., for awhile anyway.

Soon I was zooming through Foster Farms Land.  You can tell when you get there because of the distinct smell of dog food.  How could that be you ask?  Foster Farms uses everything but the squawk of the chickens, as bones, feathers and whatever are cooked at their Livingston Plant into a slurry of magnificent stink that they sell to dog food manufacturers.  Once sprayed on the dry food, it becomes doggy delicious ... otherwise, your canine critters wouldn't touch it.

You can't miss it .... but you'll wonder what it is, since it mixes nicely with the greasy french fry odors from across the street at Mickey D's!!!

If that weren't bad enough, made even worse by the morning heat and lack of air flow, Darling Delaware is on the road.  Believe me, they are NOT Darling and as you know, this is NOT Delaware. If you're driving through California and you smell something that makes you hold your nose, it's probably Darling in that big truck ahead of you, carrying all kinds of carrion to their processing plant.

What?  You never wondered where all those dead animals went?  At this point, you need to SLOW DOWN to a snails pace of 50 mph so those lovely waterfall drips coming out of the trailer don't cover you in stink forever.  It's VERY hard to get off your vehicle.  Eventually, they will exit the freeway and you can continue happily on your journey.

A little further along, wafting on the highway came a scent I'm familiar with and don't mind in the least.  Cattle.  I have to admit however, dairy cows are a little harder to take than the beef cows we raised.  What comes out of the south end of a beef cow fed on grass, is nothing compared to a dairy cow fed alfalfa and grain.  Just hold your nose on this one.

Lucky for me, I learned many many eons ago on the ranch to breathe through my mouth.  Easy for me, since my tetherball-smashd nose doesn't work all that well in the first place.  If you can do that, then your trip down California in the heat will be a lot more pleasant.

Back to the wreath, I finally made it to the store and found NO bandanas, at least the red, white and blue I was looking for.  Yes, this wreath is made with bandanas but in half and tied on a wire frame.  How simple is that??  

The main problem with finding the RED ones, in case you weren't aware, is they are a gang symbol around here.  Hang this out of your pocket and walk downtown .... it will probably be the last walk you ever take.  In the olden days, my Grandpa carried these to blow his nose.  Nowadays they come in a huge assortment of colors, including camouflage, in case you need to disappear.

At the third store, I finally found and purchased six of each color (although I was short on the white ones) and a 16" frame.  Cut them in half and tie on the frame, squishing them close together.  I've hit three more stores since and can't find enough white.  I suppose I'll end up ordering them online.  It might not be a bad idea to order a couple of extra, but don't let your husband hang any unused ones out of his back pocket ... that is unless you really want to get RID of your husband.

Here's the reason I wanted to make this wreath.  Everyone hangs flags on their rigs, whether it's the fourth of July or not.  I never could find anything that was easy to hang or that would stay put.  This is perfect ... or at least it will be when it's finished.  The hole is plenty wide enough to pass over my mirror and the cloth protects the chrome arm.  If it's raining, I'll hang it inside in the window.  If you want a smaller version, I'm sure you could get a small wire frame and use ribbon.  It's a great kids project too.

I've got two more stores to check out for the elusive remaining two white bandanas I need to complete this project.  I may even buy enough to make one more for my front door!!

Until it cools off again in the Fall, if you're traveling through California, be sure to hold your nose!!  I promise you'll thank me!!