With much trepidation, I entered the the castle through the Servants Entrance while the masses thronged (is that a word?) at the front gate. It's not a good sign when I see lots of new faces. It being the first of the month when the King's Treasury passes out all that free money, means it's going to be a busy night!
The Court Jester showed up about then ... you know, the one who thinks he has more grey matter than anyone else ... and HE hit every key. "Oh just pick it up and hit the button on the bottom ... the drawer will open". That's nice says I, but I have to get in here 50 times a night for change, etc, and lifting it up 50 times isn't going to work. I called for the King!! After HE hit every key, he ran back to the dungeon for the Book of Magic, to see if it might have any spells we could cast on this infernal beast!!
After 30 minutes of looking for spells and AGAIN hitting every key, the Court Jester ran up with his phone, which was smarter than all of us put together, and showed us the NO SALE key. Bing!!! That spell worked and the drawer magically opened. With the masses clamoring at the door, we opened them wide and began collecting all that hard earned cash!!
The Kingdom overfloweth!!! The final tally on the masses was 149 ... a record since I've been there. We went as fast as we could and never stopped for 2-1/2 hours. YIKES!!! What a haul for the King's coffers!!
At the end of the night, I finally got my hands on the Book of Magic to see just how we were going to final out these transactions. Honestly, I'd rather be mopping the floors!!! With six tapes now printed out and only two with similar totals, nothing balanced!! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS was my thought as I scanned the book for another spell to make sense of this piece of paper, totally unlike anything I'd seen before.
The King and I finally threw away all the tapes that were unworthy of our time, kept one that most resembled the final cash tally, stuffed it in the box and dropped everything back into the dungeon!! The Book of Magic came home with me, whereupon I tried to figure out all those crazy numbers. I called for my Fairy Godmother several times, but what with the names I was calling her, she didn't answer!! FINALLY my little abacus figured it out and the black spell was broken. The Court Jester hit a few buttons after it was cleared last week, adding to the "Charges" (we don't charge anything ... it's cash or ATM) and the "Checks", which we don't accept!!
With that, Cinderella crashed with her faithful watchdogs at midnight just before turning into a pumpkin, only to be awakened by the Ogre next door who needs a new muffler on his truck .... at 4:30 am. Today I will reread the Book of Magic hoping for a black spell to cast on the big mechanical transportation creature thing!!
Well Cinderella seeing that you are an accountant I’m sure you will appreciate this. When my late wife and I where first married, my in-laws owned a hardware store with a post office located in the back. Their task was to operate the post office for the people in the kingdom.
ReplyDeleteOne day one of the king’s accountant’s descended upon the post office demanding an audit.
My wife job was to keep the books in order. This entailed keeping track of each and ever transaction. At the end of the audit she was off by 10 cents.
The kings accountant roared heads will roll if you don’t find that 10 cents. After hours of going back over the books to no avail I offer to donate the 10 cents so the kings accountant would go away and we could go home.
No, cried the king’s man that’s not the point you must find that 10 cents. After several hours of searching someone moved the office desk low and behold there on the floor laid a 10-cent stamp. We were release from bondage, but not from yearly audits.
Jim M,
Now THAT'S just CRAZY Jim!!!! Somebody got a little too carried away with his position in the Kingdom!!!
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