Trying To Cope

 Thank you everyone so very much for all the wonderful Cooper thoughts.  I just never in a million years thought it would be this bad.  I knew he was so much older than most pups, and I tried to prepare myself, but it was useless.  I just can't stop crying, I miss him so very much.

He was a huge part of my life.  I got up to let him out, to cook him breakfast, to take him for a walk outside ... he was my constant companion.  And now I don't know what to do.  I just sit there.  So my blog is going to be pretty crappy for awhile, and I apologize for that.  I just can't seem to get it together right now.

I did go out for a run to try and stop the tears.  It didn't work, but I got in a little over two miles.  

On Saturday I had a birthday/anniversary party to attend.  I should have stayed home.  As soon as I saw my bingo friends, I started sobbing.  They were very kind, and I did my best to carry on a conversation and eat the carne asada tacos that were very good.

About 80 people were there, most of whom I did not know, so I only took a couple of pictures.  These are two of the best bingo volunteers we have.

Back home I fell apart again.  It's things like shutting my bedroom door ... oh, I don't have to do that any more.  Maybe it's just my age, but nothing has ever bothered me this much in my life.  Everyone says to get another puppy, but I don't think I could go through this again.  

If you all don't mind, I will be posting a picture of him here and there.  I don't know why they can't live forever!

Kitters did her best to distract me.  In fact, she has been bothering me relentlessly all day long.  Maybe she knows.  She hasn't left my side in the last two days.  What a pain she can be when it comes to being brushed.

And of course she brought me a present.  Poor little lizards, I feel so bad for them.  I think this is number 7 that now lives out in the front yard.  I'm not sure they survive ... maybe there are 7 DEAD lizards out front.

Big sigh ... I picked up all the rugs and carpets, stashing them in the garage.  All his leashes and toys are stacked on the fireplace mantle.  If I could keep busy, I would feel better, but alas, nothing is working. 

I did drive the van ... only four cold starts to go.  And I tried to finish that same quilt, but the program screen froze up (that's what happens when you upgrade and upgrade) and I got motor errors right and left, so nothing on the longarm works.  Seems nothing is going right in my world at the moment.  

You know that feeling when you want a distraction ... to go somewhere ... but you can't think of any place to go?  That's me right now.  

Thank you again everyone for your kind words ... they mean so very much to me!!  I'll try to get my act together!!!