Catching Up

 Well ... after finally getting a little sleep and now being able to actually hold a conversation, here we are standing at the end of the driveway admiring the new rock.  I will be the first to admit it needs some work.  On the other hand, that is completely overshadowed by the fact that I no longer have to water this section that has not one, but TWO wasteful water valves with sprinklers that always had to be fixed.

I'm thinking it needs maybe three big rocks at the entrance.  NO shrubs as was suggested by the landscaper.  Problem is, those rocks will cost a ton .... literally!!!

While I was thinking about that, I was very bleary eyed as I headed out to the eye appointment.  I got half a block.  See that lovely windshield wiper on the back window?  I accidentally hit something and it turned on.  No ... no don't do that.  Trouble is, there are two turn signal thingies that are covered with knobs and buttons.  Which one is it?  I turned off everything but it kept going.

FOUND IT!  I turned it off.  It kept going.  Oh come ON ... TURN OFF!!  I tried yelling, but it didn't listen.  I turned it ON ... and OFF ... probably ten times.  Nothing.  It just kept swiping away, making a big mess of my rear window.  This is ridiculous.  I turned the engine off ... I swear to you ... it kept working.  

I slapped the steering wheel silly before turning it ON and OFF again.  FINALLY ... the dang thing turned off and parked itself.  I'm taping that thing up with duct tape!!!!

At long last I made it to the eye appointment.  That was an eye opener!!  My eyes were tested every which way but loose before I finally got a room.  It's all electronic now ... they don't even give you the satisfaction of saying "I CAN'T SEE THAT"!!  

Finally .. the Doc came in.  I need a new prescription I said.  Wasn't I surprised when he said .. oh, okay, we'll make an appointment for that.  WHAT?  That's what THIS is for.  Oh no he said ... you cannot get a prescription until you have had the HEALTH inspection.  What??  If I'd known that, I would have gone somewhere else, instead of to the Doc that gave me the experimental eyes.

Back when I was an active Scuba Diving Instructor, I had to be able to read other divers computers to make sure they didn't drown on me.  That involved lots of contact lenses until cataracts raised their ugly head.  That brought about the replacement of my old eyes with the newest (not yet approved) concentric circle eye implants.  No, they don't look like this, but close.

So after blinding me with that acid they put in your eyes, he took one quick look and said they look great.  Uhmmm I could have told you that.  Can I get a prescription now for new glasses?  OH NO ... I have to go back in a week to get tested all over again and THEN I can get new glasses, in MAYBE another two weeks.  Just another way to get more money from Medicare I suppose.  TWO appointments to pay for instead of one.

I got home in time for a quick grilled cheese sandwich before my eyes gave out completely.  They were so dilated I had a hard time with just daylight, let alone any lamps.  They were so very dry and scratchy, I kept trying to water them with anything wet.  I was miserable for the rest of the day.

Not to mention exhausted from no sleep.  I think for the first time ever, Mr. Cooper got turned down for the ball game.  I've no idea what I ate for dinner, or even what rodeo I watched.  

The good news is my arm has finally gone back to normal size ... close enough anyway ... even if the itching does persist ... just in time for an epic event involving Dish Network, my TV provider.

I'll relate that story tomorrow, along with my sob story over my photoshop program that I no longer have, but am still paying $9.99 a month for.  You're going to love it!!!