What's That SMELL??

It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring while Nancy is wide awake.  There's nothing like a downpour on your roof all night long, along with a drain pipe four feet from your head that sounds like someone is tapping on it with a hammer.  I've no clue what that is all about, but if I want to get any sleep at all, I better find out.  Jim ... you nailed that forecast!  

Lucky for me, my package of the latest and greatest food arrived before it got wet.  That might have explained how this box happened if it got left in the rain, but it was perfectly dry.  You've seen this on my blog in the past .... Hello Fresh.  

They make lots of meal decisions for you, do all the shopping and send it along with recipes and instructions on how to amaze your family and friends.  The box is well insulated and there are freezer packs inside.

This time there were also some extras.  Once signed up, you get free breakfast for life, or until you cancel.  They were pretty smart here, because after eating these egg bites with stinky feta cheese, you have orange flavored Mentos gum to chew.  Yeah, I admit those eggs were NOT all that tasty.

You can pick as many meals as you like for as many people as you want to cook for ... or a minimum of two.  Since I'm just one, I get two meals from each recipe.  So here we go .. into the world of gourmet cooking.  By the way, you get to pick what meals you want to cook.  

Why am I doing this?  Because that shepherds pie Barbara made was so delicious, I had to try their new menus.  Sadly, I did not find any shepherds pie on the list, so I settled on this wonderful looking dinner.

I had forgotten just how much work it is to prepare a REAL meal.  Chop the onions, chop the tomatoes, zest the lime ... it took so much longer than my air fry corn dog.  So this is what it SHOULD look like.

This is what it DID look like when I finally finished it an hour later.  These are made with ground pork and an indigestion inducing red sauce that could dissolve a piece of metal.  They said to bake them in the oven, but it appears to me that they pan fried theirs. 

Time for a taste test.  Tortilla ... good and crispy.  Ground pork and onion filling ... quite tasty.  The guacamole would have been better without the added sour cream and I should have left off the not-quite-ripe tomatoes.  The lime zest was a nice added touch of flavor.  

I barely got two down the hatch before crying uncle.  The red sauce acid was already eating away my stomach lining.  Good stuff!!!!  I got a stomach burning reminder of this meal about every two hours all night long.  Maybe this wasn't such a good choice after all.

About that time I got a phone message.  My neighbors apparently had a GREAT Christmas dinner, followed by a septic system backup of huge proportions.  They were asking if the pump truck could park in my driveway.  

This sort of thing is normal for me.  When in the construction business, we installed new systems, repaired old ones and pumped tanks.  I always get HOW COULD YOU?  Because I was raised on a ranch and bad smells were the norm.  We got paid lots of green moola to haul away all those political promises they voted for.

Lucky for my neighbors, their tank is in the front yard and an easy find.  I explained the workings and how to find the lids.  In no time it was pumped out and the truck was gone.  Now comes the good part.  I had to explain to them just how and why this happened.  They had no idea.

If you have a septic system, you should never EVER use your garbage disposal.  Food does not dissolve for a very long time.  It goes through both sides of the tank, out into your leach lines and plugs them up quite nicely.  Apparently a large portion of the vegetable aisle in the grocery store went down the garbage disposal for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas.  One more thing ..... no grease EVER goes down the sink.

And there you have it ... your septic system lesson for the day.  If you live in the city, with a city sewer system, it's not a problem.  Sadly for my neighbor, I think it's too late and they will have to add on to their leach lines.  Old lines are left intact because they will continue to work a little bit.  New lines will take up their entire front yard and they will lose a lot of their landscaping.

Which reminds me ... you should have your tank pumped every 3-5 years, depending on how many people live there.  I guess I'll be making that phone call pretty soon myself.