Just Say NO!

 I spent a lot of time on the couch in the last two weeks.  That can be a dangerous proposition.  I spent WAY too much time looking at videos of how to do stuff.  It's fascinating the creative ways people can figure things out.  Did you know your hand saw can double as a square?  That if you forget your login code for your phone you can just say Please Unlock My Phone?  I don't believe that one, and I turned the code thingy off anyway.  You can also roll down all the windows in your car by pressing the unlock button in a certain order.  That one didn't work.

Anyway, so as Cooper tried to destroy the blanket on the couch ... a very good sign ... I gathered up all my notes to try even MORE yummy recipes.

I was pretty sure this one wouldn't work.  I equate cool whip to liquid plastic, but it's got zero sugar, so there's that.  Add to it a box of jell-o.  Being weird as I am, I chose pistachio.  Just dump it in and stir it up.  

EPIC fail!  EPIC!!  I really didn't think this would work since you need liquid to make the granules turn into pudding, and cool whip does not meet the requirements.  The first two bites were as gritty as that cornbread I made in the grinding rock in grammar school.  I could feel it expanding in my stomach.

I stuck it in the fridge, hoping it would magically turn into something delicious.  Alas, it did not.  I tried it several times just because I didn't want to throw it out, but it finally ended up like rubber strong enough to make an RV tire.  In the trash can it went.  Just say NO to this recipe.

On to bigger and better things.  Baklava.  I haven't made it in ages, but knew I had walnuts in the freezer that needed to be used up.  I ground them perfectly in my little red chopper.  I generously buttered the pan before taking out the phyllo dough from the freezer.  

Therein lay the first problem.  When I saw the box in the store, I just grabbed it ... so happy to have found it at all.  Sadly, I realized too late that this was NOT phyllo dough but puff pastry.  Well that won't work!!  The nuts went back in the freezer while my brain frantically tried to figure out what to do with the now thawed puffy stuff.

Let's try THIS recipe for an amazing apple pastry.  Let's just say this recipe was different.  Parchment paper on the pan, then honey, then a large round of cored apple I stole from Jonathan, followed by a little cinnamon.  Top that with the puff pastry and brush on butter.

After 20 minutes in the oven, turn them over with a spatula and put them back in for three minutes.  Easy, yes?  That would be a NO because see that dark brown stuff?  That's honey turned into lava just waiting for you to accidentally stick your finger in it.  

YYEEOWWWW!!!  That was hot!!  I wiped it off with a towel, but it stuck underneath my fingernail while burning my flesh to the bone.  Yes, one of those little squares hit the floor ... but 5 SECOND RULE!

Once cooled, and my poor finger bandaged up, I dusted them with powdered sugar.  I actually have to admit these are pretty tasty.  The absolute worst part is you have to eat them almost immediately, when they are warm and yummy.  Four hours later when there were only three left, they weren't near as good.  

In order to soothe my lava burnt finger, I whipped up a box of curly Kraft Mac N Cheese.  I see it on Canadian plates every now and then (you know who you are) and it always looks so tasty.  In fact, I could eat the entire box all by myself, but I threw in a little chicken so I could at least make it last two meals.

Yes, I'm still nursing my finger and it's BINGO night ... but at least it's on my left hand and won't interfere with the infernal machine.  

In the meantime, the weather is weird yet again.  Very warm overcast days with cold nights.  My plants don't know whether to bloom or die!!