The Evil Eye!!!

 The lovely smell of eau-de-stink wafted across the patio while I sipped my coffee in the dark.  It always surprises me how noisy it can be at O-dark-thirty.  Many, many miles away is the runway left over from Castle Air Force Base which now houses a small version of U.P.S., whose planes take off very early in the morning.  Sometimes I can hear the engines roar.  Other times it’s just the quiet of something sneaking through the tall grass.

A trip around the perimeter was definitely in order.  I’m happy to say my defense fence is working.  I had pushed piles of dead grass into the entry holes (now covered with steel) to see if it would show THEY (like in the old time movie THEY, or was it THEM?) were still trying to break in.  

The grass in several places had been totally scraped through the bars to the outside.  Yup … they have been trying their best to enter.  Determined little buggers!!  So they went clear around the neighborhood … which is quite the walk … to the back yard of my neighbor to try entry from THAT front.  Too bad for me, it worked.  More battlements, more banging of the big hammer to close up THAT hole.

I would show you pictures, but the game camera has chosen to throw a fit, probably due to being scared to death when that lovely lady sniffed her up and down.  It seems when the video begins, it locks up the infra-red lights and kills the batteries every time.  A new camera is on order.  Although not that cheap, they are cheaply made and do not seem to last long in this world.  Maybe Mrs. Stinky gave it the evil eye!

Don't be fooled as you watch this ... here's the last video of my other much preferred visitor.  Kitty Kitty was the only one to keep his distance.  

In case you were wondering why that fence is broken ... it's not.  Nancy and her handy dandy hacksaw tested out the cutting blade before discovering a steel post.  That entire section of fence needs to go to allow for the tractor and disc to enter, now required in the "pasture" full of two foot high weeds.  I failed.  At some point ... soon I hope ... I can get it removed.

Here's the latest in frustration from my sewing room.  Sew two pieces together, cut it into four pieces and sew those together.  Easy up to this point.

Then you cut THAT piece into NINE pieces at exactly 2-1/8 inch from each center seam.  Now turn some around and sew those nine pieces together!  Who comes up with this stuff????  This requires majorly accurate stitching, quite the task on a rather clunky machine.  I was fairly accurate the first two blocks, then it all went south.  This is going to be a long slow project.

Here's two more quilts up for grabs.  This one is 58" x 74".

And this much smaller one at 48" x 58".  Perfect Puppy-size.

In the meantime, I'm off to find a big tool box for the back of my truck to hold my generator and 5th wheel stuff that requires lock and key.  I don't know why I didn't think of this before.  I also have company for the day ... my friend from Sacramento, so I'll be trying to figure out what we can cook.  Habit Burger is calling my name.

The Magic Kingdom Rides Again

 It's a throw of the dice at the Magic Kingdom of Bingo.  You just never know and it's always an unexpected surprise.  The only thing worse than keeping the peasants at bay before the magic hour when they can access the dungeon, is the King not paying enough money.  The BIG secret is that I am the one figuring out how much of the goods we can distribute.  Sssshhh don't tell.

It's always everything we collect, but I never know how much that is going to be until 3/4 of the way through the evening.  Oh yes ... and one more thing that raises the red flag ... only paying $22 per person for the win.

It starts when Castle employees (you can't say a word because they are VOLUNTEERS and we love them for showing up) put things in the wrong places.  Bingo cards MUST be sold in a specific order.  There are six huge boxes in succession, and if you should mix them up and sell them out of order, you have a disaster on your hands.

Such was the case while I was gone and we are still trying to correct that.  The result of mixing up the boxes is having ELEVEN people win a $250 pot, some with the same winning number.  The peasants erupt with their pitchforks and flaming pieces of 2x4 as they collect their $22 each instead of $250.  

I instantly jump up and run for the safety of the concrete safe, mostly because that's where the errors happen and the boxes get out of order.  I called the King.  We spent the next thirty minutes trying to figure out how to fix it.  AND I find yet another out of order box of cards.  It's too late to repair the damage.  Now it will happen again until we either get things back in order or throw two boxes of bingo cards into the moat.  Sorry, but we are too cheap for that!!

The rest of the night went well, with no hair pulling or calls to the Police Department.  With 125 people in attendance, that was a breath of fresh air.  It also helped that we played 22 games and only three had multiple winners, meaning the peasants ditched the pitchforks.  

I also held a quick training session on counting.  It's not as easy as it sounds.  Here too, there is an order in which you must count to keep the infernal machine humming right along.  I'm happy to say the new gal did an excellent job, getting her rave reviews from the peasants.  No volunteers were hurt in the performance of their duties.  Except for my stomach after eating that chili cheese dog.  My oh my!!

The only other activity around Buzzard's Roost was the nailing of the nails.  I do not understand how fence nails can extract themselves from perfectly good boards on my fence.  Many moons ago when I moved in here and noticed this phenomena, I took my handy dandy drill and screwed in mucho dozens of screws to hold it together.  

It's a good thing I did, because otherwise, all the boards would fall off the fence.  Trouble is, I only did the middle, meaning the tops and bottoms are coming loose.  What better way to fix it than to get up at 5:00 on a Sunday morning with my really big skunk fence hammer and pound them back in.  Payback for all those big parties lasting until midnight with Cucaracha music coming from the biggest speakers I've ever seen.  

At last, all is well nailed in the back forty.  In three months, I'll have to do it again.  Truly I wouldn't care, but this is where my tuxedo friends sneak in.

Lastly for the day, because you know I can't sit for more than 30 minutes without something to do, I started yet another quilt.  This one is really weird.  I'll explain that tomorrow, because right now I'm falling asleep at the wheel.  

Sadly, yet again, I smelled that odiferous denizen of the midnight raid on what must be something akin to my love of peanut butter cookies.  Me thinks I probably have another hole to close up this morning.  The critter cam will tell the tale or tail as the case may be.  

I Lost My Head

 With great anticipation, I checked out the game camera yesterday.  It's a bad sign when the little red lights are ablaze.  It apparently had a bad case of battery diarrhea!  I couldn't even upload any images, they were so dead.  I can tell you however that kitty kitty (the brown one) came by eight times the night before looking for those groceries I have not been putting out.  

I required a trip to Costco to keep from going bankrupt purchasing those little AA denizens of power.

In the meantime, I lost my head.  This guy hangs in the spare bedroom closet.  He causes quite the stir when people think that's the door to the bathroom.  Sadly, his head disappeared into another realm.  Luckily I noticed a pumpkin on the shelf.  PERFECT!!!  It took a little work, but alas, Pumpkin Head now hangs on the door.  

Before wandering off to the store that sucks money out of your wallet like a vacuum cleaner, I finished up the border on this quilt top.  It's longer because it's actually a twin size.  I decided there was no use wasting all that extra fabric, so I sewed another row to the bottom.

So much fabric, so little time!!  This is just one wall.  I have another huge china cabinet full to the brim, along with a box or two on the floor.  I'm determined not to buy any more new fabric, but to use up all this first.  I'm hoping I live to be at least 93 because that's how long it's going to take.  

So off to Costco I went.  They open at 9:00 and what better day to be there than Monday morning when everyone else is off to work.  I only needed three things.  Like always, the pretty and definitely yummy things on the shelves make me lose my head. 

My plan was to stock up on stuff I could cook in a hurry during October.  The Patch will be open until 8:00 in the evening this year, so cooking is out of the question.  At least I remembered the batteries.

I am very disappointed to tell you however, that my Costco has installed four self checkout lines.  Too sad.    I mean really ... they are known for checking out goods in a timely manner.  Can you just imagine how long it's going to take for people to check THEMSELVES out??  Customer service definitely seems to be a thing of the past.     It's an illusion ... those are NOT ice cream bars.

I was even MORE shocked and disappointed when I got home and loaded everything into the freezer.  I lost my head ... I stomped on the floor and yelled WHY ME!!  Take a close look at the shredded chicken bowls I purchased.  Do you see the word cauliflower?  Yeah that was not what I was going for.  Now I actually have to eat HEALTHY!!  What's the fun in that??

My only satisfaction, giving me a little chuckle, is that the lady who saw me grab it from the freezer, told her husband to get the same box.  I rather imagine she didn't see "cauliflower" either!!  Yes I could take it back, but honestly, it's not worth the trouble.  I will begrudgingly force it down my throat.  You never know, it just might be DELICIOUS!!

It's time to check out the game camera (with new batteries) and gear up for the Magic Kingdom of Bingo!!!  Wish me luck training the two new people!!

I'm Ready For My Close-up .......

Mr. DeMille, I'm ready ... I'm ready Mr. DeMille.  I want to be the STAR of the SHOW!!!   Oh I'm SO excited!!!  I'm ready for my closeup .... Mr. DeMille.  Wait ... let me pull up my skirt a little and mark this spot ...............

Mr. DeMille ........ Mr. DeMiiiiillllllleeeeeee ... where are you?????   No really, wait for it .............

Come on Tonto ... the Skunk Whisperer rides again!!!  I saddled up and headed out to the Wild West pasture to secure the fences for the umpteenth time.  I could set up the trap again, but that's a lot of work, not to mention stress while carrying a bag full OMG-please-don't-spray-me!!  

Upon checking, I found two places where they tried to breach the battlements and failed.  YAY!!  Then I spotted two NEW holes they used enter under the fence.  Big sigh.  Gosh these guys can dig!!  I pounded in two more panels.  Something around here must smell awfully good for them to be so darn persistent.  Of course I'm just as stubborn as they are!!  

The last hole I filled with grass because I think that's where the fox is coming through.  If the grass is gone, then I know his access point.  It is kind of fun to see the possums and the fox .... the skunks, not so much.

Surprisingly, this quilt turned out better than I expected.  I didn't really care for the material, I was just trying not to waste any.  Once sandwiched together and quilted, it will be on the sale lot.

I know ... THREE videos in one day??  But this one is the cutest by far.  He went directly to the spot the skunk semi-laid down.  Oh yes ..... the good smells of the old west!!

My Cheeky Lizard and Quilts

Every morning when I wander outside with Cooper to the cool 60 degree air (it's been cooler by the day), I run into my cheeky little lizard friend.  He lives at the corner of my house under a big bush.  When he was smaller, he would run down the sidewalk and freeze.  

One day he ran right at me.  I danced around and screamed like a little girl!  It looked too much like a snake I guess!!  He's pretty shy, and up until now, refused to have his photo taken. 

This time, as he clung to the gutter drain, he didn't budge an inch.  He was either basking in the sun to complete oblivion, or he was so full from dinner he couldn't move.  What a beauty he is!!  Cooper walked right by and didn't even smell him .. let alone see him.  Of course like me, Cooper's eyesight leaves a lot to be desired.

So here are the first few quilts looking for a home.  These will all be first come first served.  Send an email to me at audit23@hotmail.com and we'll talk price.  Probably the most expensive is $125, so we're not talking big bucks.  If at all possible, I will stuff it into one of those Post Office $15 or $20 boxes.  I'm not sure what they run now, so I'll check it out.  Running it through the dryer on low will fluff it back up.  By the way, they make excellent doggie blankets.  Just ask Cooper ... he has three small ones he loves.

Most all have 80-20 polyester batting or Bamboo batting (lighter weight).  Wash in warm or cold water on delicate and dry with low to medium heat.

This is Squares ... 63" x 80"

I just wanted you to see the quilting on this one because it shows up so well.

Filmstrip ... great for a teenager or the young at heart.  It's pretty big at 84" x 106"

Pinwheels ... 56" x 68".  This one is very lightweight.

Violets ... 58" x 66"

Windmills ... this one is in Arizona, so you would have to wait until January to receive it.  80" x 84"

Also in Arizona ... Pink Crosses 46" x 70"

Eureka (because it came from Eureka) ... 70" x 72"   This one is actually purple, light grey and dark grey.  

Honestly, you would think pattern makers would make them a little more consistent in size, but practically every single one is different in measurement.  

When I get back to Arizona, I'll have more, including most of the 14 that are ready to quilt when I get there.  I'll take pictures today and post a couple more tomorrow.  

I think today will be veg-out-on-the-couch day to watch some baseball!!  Believe it or not, San Francisco has won more games than any team in baseball.  I think that's a first!!  

Ant Wars and Pig Powder

Good Morning from my patio as I sip a wonderful cup of coffee, trying to recover from a nightmarish night.  Seriously, where in the heck do all these crazy dreams come from?  This one started with the sighting of a huge bengal tiger crossing the desert.  I ran to a big building standing alone, a truck repair shop.  

Of course the shop doors had the tiniest of locks that wouldn't keep out a mouse.  I ran upstairs looking for  someplace to hide and found a room already full of people hanging from the walls.  The tiger sauntered by looking through the window.  When we got the all clear, I raced outside to get my truck and escape.

Where's my truck?  Apparently I left it parked too long.  It was wrecked, so they towed it away.  The nice guys in the parking structure (?) told me the insurance company replaced it with another.  YAY!!  Except IT got towed because I left it there too long.  About that time the tiger returned to the parking structure and I woke up.  I need a stronger sleeping pill!!

Here's an interesting shot of the biggest ant hill I'm fighting.  Hard to see, but if you touch it, ants come to the surface by the millions!!  Otherwise, you don't even know they are there.

Then I noticed several dark spots like this.  This is where they have been dumping the dead bodies from the Amdro.  I guess it's working, but slowly.  

I found out everyone in the neighborhood has the same problems.  Maybe due to no rain for so long, we have all been inundated.  It's not going to help that my neighbor has decided to build a small swimming pool in their back yard.  I'm hoping their crop of ants stay on their side.

Next up ... fix the front light fixture that has been winking at me for the last few days.  For whatever reason, this one is always full of spider webs.  I thought they liked dark spaces!  Even after cleaning, the bulb kept going on and off, so I replaced it.  As far as I can remember, these three bulbs have been going and going like the Energizer Bunny for three years straight.  I never turn it off, so I can't complain, but I guess I need to buy new bulbs.

In the meantime, I started up the smoker for some more delicious chicken.  This time I used Pig Powder.  Jim Tabb created this stuff and won the Best Rub On The Planet.  What better recommendation can you have?  His daughters have won dozens of State, National and World barbecue championships with it also.  

Although I would probably use a lot more rub on beef than I did on this chicken, it turned out delicious!!  This is probably the best tasting rub I've ever used.  It's not cheap, nor is the shipping, which is why I bought two bottles to get a better deal.  It was worth it!!

With dinner done, I spent a couple of hours finishing up the hardest part of this quilt.  Now to stitch it together and add borders.  I finally took pictures of the quilts I will be selling.  Although I have several here, most of them are yet to be quilted.  Once I get rolling on the new longarm in January, I will have many more.

The best news yet is I finally have a haircut appointment.  No more scaring the little kids with my doo!!  If I have time this week, I'm even putting some Halloween decorations out.  My butler guy probably scares me more than the kids.  I'm not used to seeing a MAN in my house.  I'm actually kind of hoping they get stolen this year so I don't have to store them in the garage any more!!

Spider Meets Kitty Kitty

It’s sad when the most exciting part of your day is watching a kitty interact with a rather large spider.   Even more interesting is the time it now takes to download said video to the page.  Even if I cut the video in half, it still takes 20 minutes to get each one on the blog.  It makes me wonder why.   

 

               

Probably the least fascinating day in the last few weeks, I actually had to do some real work, as in accounting for a dear lady I've known for many years.  It's not hard work at all, but it takes time to input the data and get it to balance to the bank statements.  You know, the kind of work I rarely do for myself.  It's like the mechanic who never repairs his own car, I'm terrible at all that filing and organizational stuff.

The best part was when she told me to check out the Halloween House around the corner.  You may have to enlarge this to get the full picture.  Not one, but TWO giant spiders on the house along with dozens of life-size skeletons.

There’s even an almost life-size headless horseman!!  Who wouldn’t love to have THIS all over their house.  It even lights up at night!!  Of course there’s always the down side … who takes all this stuff down and where the heck do they store it???  I better add that to my list of Prince Charming qualifications.

I'm still dealing with those fire ant bites on Mr. Cooper.  He just can't help but chew on this leg, so I finally covered it with handy dandy horse tape.  Truly, it's not as tight as it looks.  He just has skinny legs under all that fur.

To make up for it, we set up a play date with Halo from next door.  He is NOT a runner and never leaves either his yard or mine.  I've no idea why he's so partial to my yard.  While neither get out around other dogs much, they seem to love to play chase and get along just fine.  

 

Thankfully, the front yard does not have ants ... that I have found anyway.  You can tell it's a little warm with their tongues hanging out!!

And so the day ended with a little more money in my pocket.  Any time that happens, it's a good day in my book.  This morning Cooper's leg is much better, but I wrapped it up again anyway.  That of course involved a few treats to make it all better!  

Pumpkin Patch Frenzy

It is quickly becoming my favorite time of year.  Halloween!!!  October will be here in a flash, so I've been gearing up for pumpkins, pumpkin bread, dinosaurs and screaming children lost in the corn maze. Buhahahahahaha! 

In the meantime, I now know which door the little fox enters through.  I am quite surprised that he looks so huge in these videos, when actually he is just a tiny bit larger than the kitty kitty that visited last week.  Sorry baby, there was no dog food out on this day.  What fascinates me is he has not one tiny sticker in his fur, unlike me who is covered from head to toe with foxtails from walking ten feet in the grass.

In other good news, I've decided I really like this little Singer.  It chugs along quite nicely and sews long seams like a champ.  There was one slight glitch ... it doesn't tell me when I'm out of bobbin thread (that's the lower one) like my other machine does.  I finally discovered this important fact when I stood up after sewing an entire border on one side.  The border fell off and hit the floor.  WHAT?

Upon further inspection, the first border was only half sewn.  I'll have to keep a closer watch on that one.  I did call for an appointment to get my big machine repaired.  November 1 ... and the nice repairman has agreed to do it while I wait.  YAY!!

I spent quite some time inspecting the sprinklers again.  My neighbor called to say someone ran over one in the front yard.  Well rats!!  When I went to inspect it, wasn't I surprised to find it had just been unscrewed.  Who does that?  I checked one more to find the same problem and one with the top cut off by the mower.  Grass is highly overrated.   I'm thinking of tearing it all out and putting in rock.

After dinner, a tired Cooper and I rested on the couch.  He is still chewing on those fire ant bites.  I can't seem to find anything that will stop the itching.  I finally gave him a prednisone, hoping that will reduce the inflammation and relieve the pain.  That promptly put him to sleep.  

That's when I got the call.  It was 6:01.  The new man in charge of employees had told me the training would be the Wednesday before we open.  Then I got a message saying Training Day ... 6:00.  It happened that I received it on a Wednesday, so I got myself together and ran over there to find no one.  THIS Wednesday, I was sure it was NEXT Wednesday.  That would be a no.  

Training had started at 6:00 and where was I?  Just a little miscommunication.  Good thing it's only three minutes away ... two if I drive fast!!  The kids were waiting.  Luckily several have worked here before and already know the ropes.  

With not a lot of time, we raced through how to talk loud and pretend they are their parents.  Take control ... it's your responsibility.  Or just call me on the radio.

Next up the Corn Chute.  Truly with this many kids, they will end up being thrown to the wolves on the first day.  Much more training will ensue when they actually show up for work.  

It's going to be a tough year for us with mostly new kids, a new scheduler/coordinator/builder/repairman and me supervising the kids.  The good news is I am OUT of the snack bar!  You know, the place where I haul supplies, freeze my hands in ice water with sodas and make a thousand snow cones a day, not to mention all those hot dogs.  Woohoo!!!!  I'm doing a happy dance.

Eight more days and this place will look entirely different.  I can't wait to see all the kids laughing and having a good time!!!  Pumpkin Patch frenzy coming right up!

A Fairy Tale Night

 I blinked yesterday, and landed back in the FairyTale Land of the Magic Kingdom.  We used to meet up beforehand to plan our strategies should the peasants revolt.  Basically that involves deciding which door we will use as our escape hatch.  On this day, I was the only one there, talking to myself.

To better engage their lucky charms without having to buy and actually EAT the cereal variety, many peasants have paid the price to become new members.  You see, members have the codes to the gates, allowing entry to the dungeon in order to stake out their territory long before any other peasants arrive.  

There are always excuses to be allowed access across the moat earlier than the strike of the clock.  None of them work, but when it's hot outside, they are allowed into the ante room.  No matter how many times I closed the middle door, I found it open three minutes later with the peasants inching across the line drawn in the concrete.

Having 90 minutes to gather my wits, I set up slowly, happy in the knowledge that one of my old cohorts would be here to help me count.  She's an accountant too ... a definite benefit to the King.  Too bad she called and cancelled.  With two new recruits chomping at the bit to help out, I delayed the inevitable as long as possible.  I would have a new recruit to count the cards.

Although professing to have done this many times, the card names seemed elusive, as did the actual counting of same.  It's hard to relate the importance of 1, 2, 3, 4.  I finally just hit the keys on the infernal machine by what I saw with my eagle eye.  Otherwise, I'm sure I would still be there.

Somehow the above numbers came out something like this.

And so the night drug on ever so slowly, although I'm happy to say one peasant came up and thanked me for keeping the line moving so fast.  She didn't even have to carry a chair along with her for the mother-in-law to sit because it was taking over an hour to get through the melee.  It's nice to know the peasants appreciate my efforts.  

Truly, I've been doing this since I was 15 years old and worked at the theatre with those old machines that spit out a ticket at the touch of a button.  Remember the costumes we used to wear?  I was so proud!!  Imagine getting PAID $1.00 an hour to watch all those movies!!

Anyway, the dungeon kitchen was spitting out food right and left, along with stomach fire a dragon would be proud of.  I requested a chili cheese dog this time, from one who flung her long hair around so much I was sure to get something inedible.  Not that I would notice in the chili ... which by the way was delicious Costco chili.  I'm definitely ordering that again, in spite of the requirement of one Tums.  It was better than the usual TWO pieces of fire suppression equipment I take upon arriving back home after a hamburger.

And that's it ... a fairy tale night.  No fights, no hair pulling and even the infernal machine spit out it's balancing tape with the exact same amount of cash I had in the till.  Hoorah!!!

To make it even more interesting, next week I will be training not one, but TWO new recruits.  Truly, it's as easy as 1, 2, 3.  Sadly that seems to come out as 3, 1, 6, 12, 8.  Maybe a pre-bingo glass of wine will make it better!!!  I do miss the Castle Lawyer!!!

Getting My Pumpkin On

 I was going to boast this morning about our cool temperatures, but I think I jumped the gun a little bit.  Believe it or not, it's actually 57 degrees outside right now.  Lovely would be a good descriptive word.  Finally I'm able to suck enough cool air into the house to keep the air conditioners at bay.  Too bad this week looks like someone turned the oven on to bake.  Once cooked to perfection, the temps will be back down to the 80's.  YAY!!  After all, it's almost October!!

Although I've come to enjoy sitting on the couch doing nothing, I'm trying to finish up that jelly roll of fabric.  Here's what's left over.  Ugly?  Yessirree ... not my flavor of fabric at all.

Just for show and tell, THIS is a jelly roll, not the sweet treat smothered in calories.  It's precut fabric you can purchase to help you along in the construction of a quilt.  It's also a way to get rid of all that fabric the designer made but can't sell because it looks like the above picture.  Just a few days ago, it was National Jelly Roll Day, not the sweet treat ... well you get it.

I'm trying to be good at using up some of that stuff I've had laying around for years.  This one kind of makes my eyes hurt, but I'm determined to finish it before October comes around.  

Why?  Because it's HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN time!!  Time to start thinking about decorating the porch and coming up with some crazy costume I can wear, although I doubt anyone will be trick or treating this year.  Maybe I'll just wear my jammies and be the crazy old lady going to Walmart.

It's also Hunter Farms Pumpkin Patch time!!  It's going to be a little different this year.  The gal that does all the hiring of kids has escaped to Oregon or somewhere up North.  Nope I don't want that job ... so we have a new victim ... I mean gentleman ... who will do the scheduling. 

That means I'm climbing the ladder of success to the next rung ... Supervisor of Teenagers.  No more going crazy and working my little tail off in the snack bar trying to keep it stocked!!  I know who is taking that job over, and I feel much sympathy for her.  However ..... I can't tell you how happy I am that I'm off THAT burning wagon surrounded by Indians shooting arrows at me!!

Coming up will be a training day for the kids.  I am so looking forward to a laid back pumpkin patch.  Now to figure out how to get teenagers to work hard for you!!

In the meantime, my neighbor posted a video of her dog Halo (Cooper's best friend) barking at a cow.  I showed it to Cooper, and he went ballistic.  He definitely knew that voice and ran straight for the door to go play.  It took me ten minutes to convince him it came from my phone.  No matter, he sat on the couch the rest of the evening waiting for Halo to come to the door.  Puppies are funny!

Guess what!!  It's mythical Magic Castle time again.  It's going to be a rest up day for me, maybe even a nap before heading down to the dungeon to play with the peasants.