I Can Scream And Dance Like You Can't Imagine

Somehow when I was a kid on the ranch, or maybe before I was born, I got rhythm inside me.  What can I say, I just like to beat drums, play music loud and dance around.  Of course I never let anyone SEE me do that, but I do love to dance.  I practice my moves a lot when I'm in the car driving.

So when the Video Music Awards were advertised every ten minutes for the last week, I thought I might watch a bit, only because Taylor Swift was going to sing.  I had absolutely no idea who anyone else was.

The VMA awards, are all about RAP.  I don't know about you, but I can never understand a single word these people sing .. or rather scream.  There's not much singing going on.  

Here was my first OH GOOD GRIEF!  Yes, that's a very realistic anatomically correct HEART on her  chest with an arrow stuck through it.  At least she was covered up more than the rest of the gals, most of whom wore their bikinis to the ball.

This one also covered up with a crazy outfit of clothing I can't even describe, and yes, that's a snake around her neck.  In spite of all the crazy clothing, RAP has decided to embrace everyone, big or small, regardless of color.  I can totally agree with that, but seeing a 300 pound gal in a skinny bathing suit shaking her booty onstage like she's "doing" her boyfriend, was a bit much even for me.

I'm sad, although not at all shocked, to see Taylor Swift has left the country scene along with Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter Miley.  No loss there.  However, Billy Ray has a new protégé that strutted across the stage in a red cowboy outfit reminiscent of the 1950's Grand Ole Opry, rapping all the way.  He won best new artist.  

I danced around the house, loving the beat if nothing else, until I spotted this guy on the carpet.  My dancing came to a screeching halt.  Turns out it was just a grasshopper that I set free, even if he did have one broken leg.  He happily flew the coop.

I couldn't stop watching the award show.  It was like watching a train wreck!!  With three hours of VMA awards in the bag for another year, I headed to the back door to let the puppies out.  I slid back the door and got one step out before feeling something fall on the back of my neck.  HOLY CRAP!!!  I went ballistic!!  

I jumped around like one of those dancers on stage, brushing my neck and shoulders, screaming like a banshee.  I whipped my shirt off in one second flat and kept swiping the entire way down the steps. Basically, I panicked as I looked down and saw this guy trying to scurry away.  I think I should have won the VMA award for break dancing.  

I'm sorry to say (NOT SORRY AT ALL) that he did not survive the night.  At least I didn't break the sliding glass door with that big rock.  That led to hours of wakefulness.  Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was that spider.  

Today I'm going to watch a rerun of the VMA's, hoping to actually pick up a song word or two and completely obliterate that THING from my mind.  Maybe I'll even practice my new dance moves I learned last night when I FREAKED OUT!!!  Yes, I'm still swiping my back and shoulders continuously!!!