You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I get a lot of junk mail in my in-box.  Mostly I just ignore it and delete .. delete .. delete.  Then there are those times that I think ... hmmmmm maybe THIS one is real.  So when I received this one from Microsoft about closing my email account, I was intrigued.

Email Security Alert .... that will get your attention!  I was informed if I didn't CLICK HERE and update my account, it would be closed.  That works for me ... just close the darn thing.  It causes me no end of pains in the patooty trying to make sure I don't click on something I shouldn't.

This one said February 12 was the magic day when my email would cease to exist.

Yesterday, I got THIS one.  Microsoft has again chosen to close my email account, but apparently they are giving me two days grace period.  NOW the date is February 14.  The Sherlock Holmes in me decided to pay them a visit.

There are easy ways to determine who these actually come from.  Nine times out of ten, they are from the UK, or at least that's their email address location.  THIS one was different.  Mr. M K Relani at hotmail.com sent these.  

You have completely fallen down on the job MK.  At the very least, you should have set up an email account out of the country.  If I knew how to do it, I would deluge your account with nonsensical emails until you closed it.  Not that it would help at all, but it would just give you a taste of your own medicine.

This one is the funniest of the day.  When I logged on to my MiFi this morning, what should appear but the FBI Surveillance Van.  I'm pretty sure this isn't real, but it did make me look twice.  The top one is new to this area, as is the FBI.  Simple is the only one that has been around for awhile.  Maybe I said the wrong word too many times and they are after me!!  Hahahaha

Here's one you just can't make up.  I kept seeing these pretty pictures along with an ad for Paint By Numbers.  I finally took the bait and checked them out.  Remember when you were a kid and you got one or two pictures of horses to paint ... or maybe it was Elvis.  

I admit, I got pulled in by a beautiful image of Paris.  Not this one, but another.  How could you lose with only a $20 investment?  

It took about two days to get the email that said your Paint By Numbers is "on it's way".  Here's your tracking number.  I waited ten days before checking to see when I might expect delivery.  Ummmm wait .... it says that number does not exist.  

I was not the least bit surprised because I had just read in tiny tiny print that it was coming from China, as in a slow boat from.  I cracked up laughing because I'm pretty sure I will never see the painting or the $20.  

Still, I'm going to harass them incessantly whether I get it or not.  I sent out an email saying WHERE'S MY PAINTING?  The nice guy responded that their "hard working friends" in China were celebrating Chinese New Year and were on vacation.  Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.  They would be back soon and my painting would be on it's way.  

Do I believe him?  Of course NOT!!  The only thing I can say in my defense is that I ordered it through Amazon, so if I don't get it, I'm pretty sure I will get a refund.  I just checked the tracking number again for $hit$ and giggles.  Why am I not surprised .... it's all in Chinese, which of course I can't read, but that's better than "we've never seen that tracking number before in our lives".  I'll keep you posted.  

Oh and there is even MORE, but I'll tell you about that tomorrow!!  This morning, Miss Patty and I are off to the fabric store!!  Wahoo!!!!!

Oh ... and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!