How NOT To Bake A Cake

As you know, many times I try things are are just WAY beyond my skill level.  Such was the case recently when I saw this magnificent cake created by a photographer friend for her five year old's birthday.  Who would not want to make this!!!  From the second I saw it, I was hooked.

I knew perfectly well MY version would not turn out as nice, since I had absolutely no idea how to do this, other than make the cupcakes.  It's EASY she said ... Amazon has the molds.  I went to Michaels instead where you can find Wilton chocolate ready to melt.

I quickly discovered that was the easy part.  Dump the candy in a piping bag and melt in the microwave.  I probably should have left them in a tad bit longer.  As soon as I began squirting the liquid chocolate in the molds, the end would get plugged with an unmelted chunk.

Guess what happens when you squeeze too hard!  There was pink chocolate everywhere.  I was not in the least bit daunted.  Once filled, I banged the cheap plastic molds on the counter to get out any air bubbles.

That didn't work so well, since you can still see air bubbles.  That's when I realized I should have colored some of these darker.  I got out my TWO boxes of food coloring, one never opened.  What the heck?  All but two of eight jars were opened with the foil removed and so dried out they were unusable.  That was a brand new box!!!  Okay then ... pink it is!!

Next up ... the cake.  Cupcakes ..... no problem.  For the cake however, I didn't have a pan small enough, so I used my 6" springform cheesecake pan.  Probably not the best choice.  It took an extra ten minutes to bake, but came out high as the sky and absolutely PERFECT!!  I left it in the pan to cool.

Five minutes later, this is what fell OUT of the pan.  It totally collapsed, becoming a one layer chunk of solidness.

When all was cool, it came time for frosting.  I can make that pretty well, or so I thought.  The only coloring NOT a solid mass, was Royal Blue, not the beautiful Teal I wanted.  Oh well ... onward and upward.  I should have divided the frosting into two bowls ... one white and one blue ... but I didn't.  Instead, I just barely mixed in the food coloring, then began piping away.  

All of a sudden, the pink chocolate pieces didn't look so good after all, against the bright blue background.  I'm sure little pearls and shells of another color would have made it much better ..... or not.  These chocolates are WAY too big.  I should have gone to Amazon.  

So this is how NOT to bake and decorate a cake.  It's probably perfect for that picture show where you see what it SHOULD have looked like and what it DID look like.  If nothing else, I had a big laugh about my decorating skills.  I tossed the chocolate and put the cupcakes in the fridge.  The cake went to the cemetery.  

I know ... that was wasteful ... but you didn't taste it, nor did you get an entire mouthful of half inch thick frosting (more in some places) from the fallen cake, which would have made a good frisbee.  This my friends, is how NOT to bake a cake.  I think I better stick to sewing.